Under the Afghan Sun
by Ti-girl
Summary: Mac is lent to the coalition forces in Afghanistan to work with a Master Corporal in the field, but before she leaves she makes Harm make a promise, that almost kills both of them.
1. Chapter 1

Before you read this story, I will tell you a little bit of a background

_Before you read this story, I will tell you a little bit of a background. My brother and cousin are both over in Afghanistan. My cousin is a private and my brother is a Master Corporal. At the moment they are both in the same chain of command._

_I did grow up in a military family, my father being an engineer for the Canadian military. I decided to write this to give a bit of an insight into what the coalition forces are going through, so if you have any political views against the actions in Afghanistan, I would rather not hear them._

_-Ti-girl_

"Sir?"

Two star Admiral AJ Chegwidden shook his head. "Mac, I'm sorry. Those are the orders. Afghanistan. The coalition forces need another translator and someone with a legal background. Things are getting hairy over there. The Brits lost their equivalent to two JAG officers and a translator late yesterday, and the Canadians don't have anyone fluent in Farsi. Actually, the Canadians are having a bit of an…unique situation." He folded his hands on his desk and looked at his chief of staff with a soft and apologetic smile. She had come into her own at JAG, she had relaxed…somewhat. And now he saw the hard headed jarhead that he had noticed when they were first introduced.

"Unique situation?"

Sighing, AJ continued. "Their top JAG lawyer was injured…and the only person that seems to be able to speak more than English or French…is a Master Corporal…who JUST got promoted. And is 22 years old." A small smiled played on his lips. "He has offered to 'deal with the language crap' when needed. He apparently speaks Dari, Uzbek, Pashto, Turkmen and most of the coalition languages. But, he's not an interpreter or a lawyer. He's a front line solider who's already earned himself a bronze star and the star of military valour, but, according to the powers that be over there, he's all they've got."

"I'm going to be dealing with a grunt, sir?" Mac spat out.

A chuckle escaped from AJ. "Apparently he said the same thing about you Mac, except it was more along the lines of 'I'm going to be working with a legal weenie?'" His smile faded. "Mac. Right now Afghanistan is more dangerous than Iraq. Insurgents are popping up left, right and centre. I'm not happy about it…"

Mac finished his sentence. "But when the Corps call, I respond. Sir, I understand." Her face was hard with what AJ could only decipher as determination with a fleck of fear. "Sir, do you know anything about this Master Corporal?"

The Admiral pulled a file off the top of his desk and opened it. "Master Corporal Sean Christopher. Age 22. Grew up in a Military family. His father is retired Lieutenant General Thom Christopher, who was one of the leading officers in Bosnia, he won the star of courage and the cross of valour. Master Corporal Christopher is on his second tour of duty in Afghanistan. He saved his coalition troop from an insurgent attack. They were on a night watch and were ambushed by 40 or 50 insurgents. Master Corporal Christopher, though under intense rocket-propelled grenade, machine gun and small arms fire, exited a light armoured vehicle and manned the pintle-mounted machine gun. In spite of being completely exposed to enemy fire, Master Corporal Christoper laid down such a volume of suppressive fire that he forced the enemy to withdraw." He put the file down and rubbed his temples.

The face of his officer never changed or flinched. _She makes the corps proud._ He thought to himself. "Your flight leaves tomorrow at 0700 out of Andrews." He passed her the file. "Here. In case you want to read up on Master Corporal Christopher." His face softened. He really did think of the young Marine Colonel as a daughter and it tore him apart to have to send her on another dangerous mission.

"Thank you sir." She stood up and grabbed the file off the desk.

"And Mac?"

"Yes sir?"

"Be damned sure you're careful out there. I don't want Rabb resigning...again." He said with a small and tired smile.

"Aye-aye sir." Her heels echoed out of the room, down the short hallway, a soft clicking against the tiled floor. She shut her office door and threw the file on the pile already on her desk. All the memories from her previous tours in Afghanistan and Iraq flooded back, not to mention the always present nightmares of Paraguay.

A soft knock on her door brought her out of her daze. Harm stuck his head in the door and gave her a soft smile. "So, where are you off to now?" He asked, moitioning to the file

"Afghanistan." She shrugged. "They need a translator and a lawyer for the coalition troops. Right now they're down to a 22 year old Canadian Master Corporal who is doing all the translating."

He closed the door and sat down across from her. "A grunt? Sure he's bilingual. English and profanity." A forced smile was plastered on his face. "When do you leave?"

"At 0700 tomorrow. I need to finish up my files here...and then..." Her voice trailed off.

"Let me make you supper tonight Mac." Harm said softly, reaching out and placing his hand on hers. "You can pack and I'll cook." He smiled. "And if you don't accept, I'm making it an order."

Mac placed her head in her hand and looked up at Harm who was still smiling. "You're going to do it anyway. So okay. 1800? My place?"

"It's a date " He flashed her a grin.

"Not it's not." She replied looking down at Christopher's file. "But I'll see you at 1800."

--

"It smells great." Mac looked down at the plate of pasta in front of her and smiled at Harm. "Thanks for this, you know you didn't have to."

"But I wanted to." He replied giving her a shy half smile. "So, tell me about this Master Corporal you're working with."

The high-pitched squeak of her fork against the black china was the only sound in the room. "From what I hear, he's young, brash, impulsive and cocky." She pushed a piece of pasta across the plate and frowned.

"Mac?"

She kept pushing the piece of pasta across her plate, leaving tomato streaks. "Harm, promise me one thing." Meeting is eyes she waited until he nodded. "Don't do anything stupid. No matter what happens over there...promise me. You won't do anything stupid."

Harm nodded. "I won't do anything stupid. As long as you make sure you come back…"

"H-aaaaaaaa-rm."

His blue eyes met her brown ones. "I promise. As long as you stay safe out there Marine." He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers. The air was thick and heavy with electricity and tension.

The copper taste of blood was thick in Mac's mouth when she realised that she had bitten her lip so hard it was bleeding. "Harm, I can't. Not now…I've got to get to packing."

Pain was hidden behind his stoic face. "Yeah, you get to packing. I'll do the dishes."

"You don't have to."

Harm just smiled. He could have easily told her the truth, that the reason why he was going to stay wasn't that he didn't want to leave her with all of the dishes, but because he didn't want to leave. At all.

--

Mac was a horrible flyer. You would think that after all of her travels she would be better at it. But she wasn't. The chopper set down on the hot tarmac at the Kandahar airfield. A young coalition solider stood at attention as she exited.

"Colonel Mackenzie? I'm Sub-Lieutenant Marc-Antione Deslauriers." A young man stood at attention before giving her a small smile. "Come follow me please." His English was thickly accented and she nodded and followed the young Lieutenant. Once they were clear of the tarmac, Mac took off her helmet and shook her hair.

"I'm supposed to meet with Major-General Stuart."

The lieutenant nodded. "Yes Ma'am. Right this way Ma'am. S'il vous plait, I'll take your bag." He reached out and grabbed her bag and briefcase. "Major-Géneral Stuart is just over this way Ma'am." They walked swiftly to a few make shift town. Plywood walls and roofs as far as the eye could see.

"We are here Ma'am." Lieutenant Deslauriers said with a curt nod and a knock on the door. He waited for the appropriate response before opening the door.

Major-General Stuart was a small man, his face tanned and hard from his months of service in Afghanistan. He was barely eye-to-eye with Mac, short and stocky, his hair cropped close to his head, his dark eyes wrinkled and worn.

"Colonel Mackenzie." He gave her a firm handshake, one that let her know that he was all business. "It's nice to meet you Colonel. You have come with the highest praise from Admiral Chegwidden and the SecNav."

"Thank you sir. I look forward to working with you and the coalition troops." Her posture was stiff, her eyes straight-ahead and hard. General Stuart liked the female marine, which was saying something. Coming from the Canadian Armed forces he grew up with a strong dislike of the American forces. They were arrogant, loud and usually more poorly trained than the Canadian forces. But this Marine, she held herself with a confidence that made it be known that she was to be respected.

"We look forward to working with you as well Colonel Mackenzie. I will introduce you to…well…I shouldn't say your partner…but…your partner." A smile crossed his lips and a deep laugh rose from his chest. "I'm sure he's…different than your other partner. He's a good kid…but a brash, arrogant, impulsive kid."

Mac gave a short laugh. "Sounds exactly like my partner sir, except my partner is pushing 40."

"Then you'll get along great with Master Corporal Christopher." He looked at the Lieutenant who was standing at attention in the corner. "Lieutenant…if Master Corporal Christopher is on the rink, get his sorry tail into the barracks, ASAP. And you know he is at the rink."

"Aye sir."

The lieutenant nodded and took off at a quick trot outside.

"Rink sir?"

"We have a street hockey rink. Whenever Master Corporal Christopher isn't out on patrol or 'speaking Afghani' as he likes to put it, he's on the rink. We have to shut off the lights to get his tail off of it." He held the door open for Mac and waited for her to exit. "I apologize in advance Colonel, we're short on female housing at the moment, but we do have an opening with the Master Corporal."

"Pardon sir?"

"It's a semi private room Colonel." They stopped in front of one of the makeshift barracks. "Here comes the Master Corporal now."

Master Corporal Christopher came walking quickly towards them, his jacket around his waist, his tan tshirt soaked in sweat. He towered over both Mac and the General. There was something intimidating about the Master Corporal. Maybe it was his size, he probably had 2 or 3 inches on Harm and probably 50 lbs. Maybe it was the way he stood, stiffer and straighter than any Marine or Naval officer she had ever seen. Maybe it was everything combined. His dark hair was cut short, not shaved, but still short enough to be within regulations. There was something about his dark eyes, the way they stared straight ahead, young and naive, yet there was something that screamed _I have seen death_. He extended his hand and gave her small smile.

"Welcome to Afghanistan, Ma'am." His voice was soft, and quiet, especially for a man of that size. Dirt and sweat caked his baby face, freckles hiding underneath. "I look forward to working with you."

Her eyes searched the surroundings. "So do I Master Corporal."


	2. Chapter 2

"You must be tired

_Thank you everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter. This story is really close to me, my cousin comes home in about 20 days and my brother comes home just before Christmas. And yes, I am basing the character Sean on my brother. Thanks again! Ti-girl_

"You must be tired."

Mac looked up at the young man and smiled. She almost had to strain to hear him, his voice was so soft, and it seemed to be blown away by the harsh Afghan wind. "I am, though I was able to sleep a bit on the plane."

"Master Corporal, you will show the Colonel her barracks, then we will meet in my office over dinner." General Stuart said shaking his head at the young solider. "And go get cleaned up Christopher. I expect you two there in 30 minutes."

A grin broke the young man's face revealing dimples that were well hidden by the dirt, dust, sweat, grime and pain. "Aye aye sir." With a quick jerk of his head he started off towards the 'shanty town'. Make shift barracks lined up side by side, a scar in the normally bare Afghan countryside. They passed through the dusty 'street' until they reached the far end.

"It's not...the greatest...I'm sorry Ma'am, it's probably not what you're used to." Corporal Christopher said, his face downcast staring at the dirt on his boots. "There's a tarp between the two racks Ma'am...and I...well...stole some boxes and shelves for you. And Private Howe was nice enough to donate her homemade closet." He opened the door and ushered her to the end of the building.

A tarp hanging from the wooden roof separated the room into two. The first was as immaculate as it could be in a war torn country. "This is my side...Colonel." He blushed and pushed the tarp aside. "This is yours."

Compared to his side of the barrack, hers was full of as many amenities as allowed. A makeshift closet was in one corner, a desk in the other. A cot, noticeably wider than his, was in the middle of the room. A large canteen sat on the edge of her bed.

"I filled up your canteen full of water Ma'am. I thought you might be thirsty...but if I overstepped my boundaries Ma'am...Colonel...please tell me. I'm...not used to working with...uh...a partner." He smiled shyly.

"Thanks Corporal, it's great. And...when we're not with our superiors...you can call me Mac." She placed her bags on the bed and smiled.

"Okay Ma'am...I mean Mac. You get comfortable, I have 21 minutes to shower and take you to the General's office. But...if you want...you can call me Sean... Excuse me Ma—ac." He took a few things from his side of the room and disappeared. Mac laid down on her cot and sighed. The warm air stuck to her like a cheap blanket. What seemed like seconds later, but was really 18 minutes, Mac opened her eyes. The smell of freshly washed skin and a male body wash filled her senses. Sean poked his head around the tarp.

"Sorry Mac, I was going to wake you. We have less than two minutes to make it to the General's office before he blows his lid." His face was clean of dust and sweat showing a handful of freckles that stood out against his pale skin, the shower took years off his look. Before he looked 22. Now he looked like an oversized schoolboy.

"It's alright Sean, I didn't realize I was that tired." She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "We should get going before, like you said, the General blows his lid."

She was rewarded with a smile and allowed Sean to hold the tarp aside for her and quickly left their barrack. "I expect the General to have the food in his office already Ma'am." Sean said leading the way across the town. They stood at attention in front of the General's office after knocking loudly on the outside frame.

"ENTER."

"Master Corporal Sean Christopher and Colonel Sarah Mackenzie reporting as ordered, sir." Sean said, his body stiff at attention in front of his Commanding officer.

"At ease. Come on in, the food is here. And I'm impressed, here with time to spare." General Stuart said motioning to the table that held the food.

"Here with 28 seconds to spare." Sean said softly, holding the door open for Mac until she was inside the building. He waited until they were at the table before pulling the chair out for Mac and unceremoniously throwing himself on the chair beside her. He muttered a few words to himself under closed eyes before digging into the plate in front of him. "It's not as bad as it looks." He explained to Mac who just stared at the boy shoveling down the rations.

"Are you two up for a trip to the Zhari district?" General Stuart asked poking the food on his plate. "We just lost three soldiers there and we need to figure out what the hell happened."

Sean's jaw tightened. "When do you want us to leave sir?" His eyes narrowed and his movements became more and more erratic and stiff.

"Not for a few days Corporal. We still need to secure the area." The General chewed thoughtfully on his mouthful before turning to Mac. "You've done translating before, haven't you Colonel?"

"Yes sir." She took a small mouthful of the rice and meat in front of her. "Whenever you say it is safe for us to go, I'm ready. I'll just need to read over the file to catch myself up."

"That can be arranged." General Stuart looked at the young Master Corporal who was glaring at the food on his plate and stabbing it with an unnecessary amount of force. "Corporal, once you're done with your meal, you can take the Colonel back and show her where all of the computers are set up."

"Yes sir." Sean replied mopping the rest of his food with the day old roll he held in his hand. He looked over at Mac who had picked out all of the peas out of her meal and was finishing her meal. "I'm ready whenever you are Ma'am."

--

Harm frowned at the TV in the bullpen. 3 coalition soldiers were killed in Afghanistan, another 6 injured. These just weren't car bombs anymore; they were getting more and more sophisticated. And dangerous. He watched the newscast, a sick feeling sticking in the bottom of his stomach as the newscaster spoke about a JAG marine and translator being brought over to help the coalition troops. He stopped listening and stormed over to his office and slammed the door. People would be looking at the closed door, exchanging worried glances, or maybe whispering about him. And he really couldn't care less. His computer screen blinked, notifying him of an unopened email. He smiled when he saw who it was from.

To: **HarmonRabb jaghq.us.gov**

From: **SarahMackenzie jaghq.us.gov**

Subject: Made it here

_Hey Sailor,_

_I made it here safe and sound. Met my new 'partner' and he's exactly what I envision you to be at 22, but I won't hold it against him. Got all my stuff settled and got a chance to steal the Internet. We were just given the file on the bombing in the Zhari district. Once they get everything secured we're going to go in and check things out. Let everyone know that I'm all right._

_Apparently, I'm supposed to go watch Sean (that is the Master Corporal's name) go "kick some ass" on the street hockey rink tonight._

_I will get a hold of you whenever I can._

_Stay safe Flyboy. Miss you._

_Mac_

Harm let go of the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. He re-read the email a few times, waiting for his heart to stop palpitating. She was safe. That was his main concern. Sarah Mackenzie was safe.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong? You look like you're having a heart attack."

Tearing his eyes away from the computer screen Harm looked up at the smiling face of Sturgis Turner. "Nah...just reading an email from Mac. She made it to Afghanistan safe and sound." He forced a fake smiled and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants.

"Want to grab a bite to eat?" Sturgis asked softly, watching his friend struggle to regain his composure. "I'll even buy."

Harm fought to swallow the lump in his throat. "S-sure. Can you give me 15? I'm going to reply to Mac's email. Anything you want to say?"

Sturgis smiled. "Just tell her to stay safe and that I'm watching your six. See you in 15." He walked out of Harm's office shaking his head slightly.

To: **SarahMackenzie jaghq.us.gov**

From: **Harmonrabb jaghq.us.gov**

Subject: Puck bunny!

_Hey Marine, _

_Glad to hear you got there safe and sound. Your new partner sounds like quite the guy. Tall, dark, handsome and smartest guy around. Lucky you. Sturg says to stay safe and that he's watching my six. So make sure you have someone watching yours. So are you going to become the Canadian's new puck bunny? You may have to explain the finer points of the barbaric sport when you get back._

_I miss you too, stay safe out there._

Love Harm

His finger hovered over the send button before he finally decided to press it. He watched as the email got sent into the expanses of cyber space, hopefully reaching the intended recipient.

--

Mac finally understood why Canadians loved the sport so much. Even on asphalt and in a war torn country, with artillery bombs instead of crowds, the game was full of passion and portrayed the weekend Lemeiuxs and Gretzkys.

She spread the file out on her cot, listening to the constant chatter from the other barracks. The light flickered from the other side of the tarp and the sounds of plastic wrappers rustling made her stop. Sean knocked on the inside of the wall.

"Safe to come in?"

"Sure."

The larger Master Corporal slid onto her side of the room, his hands behind his back. "Pick a hand." He noticed her worried look and grinned. "Just do it." Once she chose a hand, Sean dumped the contents on her bed. Powdered juice mix, candies, breadsticks and peanut butter and a chocolate bar.

"My family sends great care packages." He explained, opening his chocolate bar and throwing the wrapper in the garbage beside her bed.

Mac smiled. "You don't have to. It is your stuff."

"Take it. I have tubs of it." He leaned against the wall. "How's reading over the file?"

Mac opened the chocolate bar and broke a piece off before placing it in her mouth. "You knew the soldiers didn't you."

Sean nodded and chewed the chocolate. "I did. All of them." He stared at her, his defensive wall building. "You're not going to stop me from helping because of it, are you…Ma'am?"

"No. I just need to make sure that your emotions won't get in the way of an investigation. We're here to help."

"You DON'T think I know that…Ma'am?" She watched as his face turned hard, colour rising from his tan tshirt. "I KNOW we're here to help…but…Ma'am…we're getting shot at, getting blown up…we have to find out SOMETHING. Find out who told the Taliban where we were going…and that they were the least protected." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Ma'am…Mac. I was the leader of the convoy. If anything I should have been the one who was blown up, not them." He looked down at his hands. "I'm…going to go to bed."

"Master Corporal…Sean. Tomorrow…I need you to help me answer some questions. And thanks. For all of this."

He shrugged and ducked underneath the tarp. His soft voice could be heard throughout the barracks, muttering words that only he could understand.

--

"You miss her." Sturgis said, watching his friend peel the label off the beer bottle in front of him.

"Yeah. I do." He stared out the window. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Just being a friend Sturg. I know I can be an ass, so thanks for putting up with me."

"That's what friends do." He watched his friend, wading through his own personal hell, both men too proud to be the first to break.


	3. Chapter 3

"It wasn't a suicide bomber

_A/N – Thank you everyone for your reviews and your patience. This week has been very very VERY busy. I was contracted out to a private school and was working there every day, as well as tomorrow I am on the road for half of the day, working at another school in another city. Yes, my life was very busy. My cousin arrives back home in less than two weeks, my brother is returning from duty on December 17__th__._

_Onto the story!_

Mac sipped her coffee and flipped through the file. It was 0800 and the thermometer was already reaching 100 degrees. Her BDUs stuck to her like cheap perfume, it almost made her wish for the fall in Virginia. Almost. The file told her nothing. Coalition troops were sent into the Zhari district after being told it was safe. The Canadians were the only ones that suffered any casualties, not from a roadside bomb or a suicide bomber, but from something more sophisticated, especially for the Taliban.

"Find anything new?" Sean sat down across from her, a small smile on his face. "Mac…I apologize for last night. I was out of line."

"Sean, I've dealt with worse outbursts in the coffee room at JAG." She smiled at the young enlisted man. "So, how long do you think it will take before they secure the area for us to go in and interview some locals?"

He took a few seconds to answer, taking a swallow out of his water bottle. "I'm not sure. I think the Brits were in there last, taking a look." His eyes sold him out, he tried so hard to make it seem nonchalant, like it was just another day at the office, but his eyes told a different story. They were red rimmed, like he had spent the night crying, and was still struggling to keep his composure. Mac had to remind herself that as much as the ribbons, dirt and tough speak screamed "I'm a solider", he was still a young man. A young man that had probably never lost anyone close to him in his life. Before now. He forced a smile, she could tell it was for her sake more than anything. He was the male, he was the enlisted man, he was strong.

"Have you found anything Colonel?" General Stuart's voice came in clear from behind them.

"No sir, I would have to speak to some of the locals to see if they know anything that isn't on the report." Mac closed the file and saluted the General.

"As you were Colonel." He motioned for Mac and Sean to sit down. "Are you two up for taking a tour around the Zhari district?"

Sean nodded. "Yes sir. Anytime you want me to go sir, I'm ready."

"Power down Master Corporal." The General put up his hand and shook his head slowly. "It still may be a couple of days, the British and the Belgians are making sure everything is clear before we send more troops in. That wasn't a mine that blew up, we have to make sure there are no others in the area before we send a JAG officer in."

"Sir, I CAN take care of myself." Mac stated strongly.

"Oh, I know you can. Admiral Chegwidden has told me of your background. We just have to take precautions Colonel, but feel free to interview anyone you want."

"We were planning on it sir, later today." Sean said softly.

"I will let you get to it then." General Stuart said with a short nod. He turned and exited the barracks, shutting the door behind him.

Sean rubbed his eyes with his hands that still showed the signs of recent maturity, baby fat still clinging to his fingers. "Some of the guys are back here, but they're doing some shooting rounds." His voice seemed softer when speaking about the men he considered brothers. "We can catch them in the afternoon."

"Sure."

He rubbed his face like he was trying to rub off memories that stuck to him. "But, I'm not sure how many are willing to talk about it…you know?"

"I know what you mean." She wanted to reach out and hug the young Master Corporal. Tell him that the memories fade, that after time they became less vivid, the nightmares less frequent. She knew how it could gnaw at someone, how the wounds of the past fester and the pain infects your body and your mind.

"Ma'am…if I may ask…how do you know? Were you in battle?"

"Something like that." It was her turn to force a smile. "What do you think? Internet's available?"

"Probably. I'm going to go catch up on my reading, how about I come and get you when the rest of the guys get back?"

"Sounds like a plan." Mac reached out and placed her hand on the Master Corporal's oversized one. Even her forced smile seemed to relax the young man.

--

It was a slip up. She was positive of it. He used the word love, though she knew he meant it like he loved a sister. Even armed with that knowledge, she did have to admit that it made her heart skip a beat, or two, when she read it.

_Hey Harm,_

_All I know so far about hockey is that fighting is legal, and Sean got what he called a "Gordie Howe Hat trick." A goal, an assist and a fight._

_Afghanistan is just like we left it. Dirty and hot. We're going to be heading into the Zhari district in the next few days, so if I don't email you back, don't worry._

_Tell Sturgis I say Hi and I have a giant of a Canadian Master Corporal watching my six. He makes you, the Admiral and Sturgis look like twigs._

_I miss you too._

_Love, Mac._

Before she could talk herself out of it, she pressed the send button and logged off.

--

"Harm? Haaaaaaarm? Earth to Harm? COMMANDER!"

Harm jumped and glared at Sturgis who was leaning against the doorframe, a grin on his face, but his eyes dark with concern.

"Sorry, I was thinking."

"That's what I smelled burning." He shut the door behind him and sat down across from Harm. "Seriously Harm, you have to get over this. Mac is on assignment. She'll be FINE. She always has been, right?"

He bit his tongue so hard, he was positive he drew blood. "Yeah...Mac can take care of herself...but..." Harm sighed. "We've been partners for eight years Sturgis. It's more of a 'we've been together through thick and thin' sort of thing. I just feel like..."

"You should be out there with her, watching her six?"

"Yeah."

Leaning on Harm's desk, Sturgis smiled. "Tell you what. Today's Friday, let's have a poker party. Invite Bud, the Admiral, Mattoni...It'll help take your mind off of this."

Harm wanted to stand up and scream. Tell Sturgis that it wouldn't take his mind off of Mac. Nothing would. But he nodded. "Okay, we can even have it at my place. Say...2100?"

"Great." Sturgis saw the frustration in his friend's eyes. Even after all of the years, it was one thing that Harm couldn't mask.

--

"We were on the convoy Ma'am. It was just another day...and then...it just all went black. It wasn't a roadside bomb Ma'am...or a suicide bomber. It was something different. At first we thought it was a mine, but it wasn't." The young private ran his hands over his shaved head and looked at Sean with a look of worry. "We had the area scouted out before...so...like...it wasn't a mine...I mean..."

"It's okay...just tell us what you remember." Mac said with a small smile.

"Master Corporal...you...were there...you know what happened..."

Sean shrugged his massive shoulders. "Yeah, but we have to get everyone's account of the day." He rubbed his arm unconsciously, the bruises and burns that were hidden under the thick material.

--

Mac sighed and shook her head. Exactly the same comments from everyone. "Looks like we're going to the Zhari district."

His round baby face was screwed up in a hard frown, making him appear like a child throwing a fit. "Sure looks like it. Are you ready for it Ma'am?" He didn't bother waiting before he gave her a sharp salute and quickly left the building.


	4. Chapter 4

"I fold

A/N – I have the ten-day cold. (It's second cousins to the plague. Seriously. It's bad.) So I was able to get some work done on this chapter.

_  
I mentioned the Saskatchewan Roughriders this chapter. I'm a Rider girl through and through. My father and uncles travel to every away game and every home game, even though we live up to an 8 hour drive way from Regina. (Where they play.) The Rider fan soldiers watch every game, usually early in the morning their time. And since the Riders are 8-3 (top in the league) they tend to gloat and sing THE song. _

"I fold." Harm muttered around the cigar in his mouth. He threw his cards down and looked around the table. Bud had folded earlier in the game and was digging into the guacamole. Matonni fiddled with the chips in front of him, allowing them to fall one on top of each other with a soft clink. Harm knew it was a tell, that he had winning hand. Sturgis took a slow drink of his beer and stared down at his cards, fighting hard from revealing anything and in Harm's eyes failing. The only person he couldn't read was AJ. He looked exactly the same every hand. Hell, he probably had the same look when he was invading Vietnam with his troop of Seals.

"Just play your damn cards Alan." Sturgis muttered. Harm stood up and leaned against his window, watching the rain stream down in rivers. Mac liked the rain, she always did. She didn't mind getting wet, heck, she lived for the days when it poured. He stared at the coffee cup in his hand and took a small sip. His concoctions were getting stronger and stronger each day. The Admiral was even drinking the brew when he made the coffee in the office. He didn't dare tell people the reason why the beverage was beginning to resemble tar. He hated it. It gave him heartburn. But she liked it that way…and he had yet to find the right colour of coffee that matched her eyes. Maybe next week when he tried 4 and half scoops.

"Never play with an Admiral."

Harm turned around to see AJ scooping up the chips and placing them beside him. "I'm not going deal in this hand guys." He said in a voice that didn't sound like his. It sounded beaten and broken. His large figure slumped on his couch on the couch, lit only by the glow of his laptop.

The other four men exchanged glances. Mattoni shrugged helplessly and shook his head. Even when Harm was up on murder charges he hadn't acted so…lost. Bud chewed on the inside of his cheek and watched his friend and mentor. "Sir, it's getting late. I should probably head back home. I told Harriet that I'd be back to help with little AJ." He looked apologetically at Sturgis and AJ who were still sitting at the table, matching frowns on their faces.

"That's fine Bud, see you on Monday." Sturgis said with a smile for the younger man.

"I'll head out too." Mattoni said, grabbing his jacket. "Thanks for having me over Harm." He leaned over to look the Commander in the face.

Harm shrugged and turned back to the computer.

AJ and Sturgis exchanged worried glances as Harm began to type madly, shifting himself away from the prying eyes of his friends.

--

"Nice shooting!"

Sean put his automatic rifle down and shrugged. His cousin, Kevin came up and patted him on the back. "You coming and watching the game tonight? Or are you too good to spend time with us ENLISTED men now that you're all chummy with the Officers." He raised a blonde eyebrow and ran his hand over his hairless chin.

"Shut up Kev." Sean put his rifle on the table and removed his cap. "What time is the game at?"

"Starts at 0200." Kevin said with a grin. "Walk with me." They walked past the shooting range, Sean receiving a handful of salutes on the way. "So, spill."

A dark eyebrow rose. "Pardon me Private? Spill what." He crossed his arms across his chest and glared down at his cousin.

"The colonel. What a babe! How is she?"

"She's…nice. Works hard…" His voice trailed off. "I'm not sure what you want Kev. We work together. I'm there to help her out while she does her investigation."

"She is HOT. So hot she gives me heatstroke." Kevin replied his blue eyes shining. "What does she sleep in?"

"RED LIGHT!" Sean screamed, giving his younger cousin a hard shove. "I did NOT just hear that Kevin. She's an officer, a Marine JAG officer and for all you or I know she could be married with 3 kids." His glare bore into the smaller man. Kevin opened his mouth to say something before catching Sean's glare. "Don't Kevin. She's an officer and can probably kick your scrawny ass in three seconds flat."

"Okay perfect cousin. You aren't attracted to her at ALL? I mean, after Dana dumped you…"

"Go play in front of the shooting range Kevin." Sean replied shortly, his long legs creating a large separation. He could hear footsteps running behind him.

"Hey, Sean. Slow down."

His best friend's voice made him stop. Corporal Jassen Kane walked up behind him. "What was that all about?" He clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Nothing man. Just an argument." He rubbed his head violently. "What's up?"

Jassen smiled. "We miss ya out there buddy. When you off of translator duty? Knew you shouldn't have taken all of those language classes in high school."

Sean shrugged. "Not sure. Gotta see how this next 'tour' goes. Gonna take the Colonel into the Zhari district." He rolled his eyes. "You catching the Rider game tonight? See us beat up on the Bombers?"

"You know it man. So, are you too good to have supper with us? Do they make you have dinner with the Officers?" Jassen grinned.

"I've always been too good to eat with you bums." Sean retorted, for the first time in days he was feeling back to normal. "Jasse, I need to go and check to see if there's any translating they need me to do."

"I'll save a seat for you buddy." Jassen said heading off the other way.

--

Mac closed her eyes and tried to force sleep. She could hear the whoops and hollers coming from the communal barracks. Someone started a chant that seemed to have a calming affect on her. It rang through the makeshift town, ringing through every corner and plywood wall.

"Green is the colour, football is the game

We're all together and winning is our aim  
So cheer us on through the sun and rain

Saskatchewan roughriders is our name.

Let's how our pride in Green and White

We will fight Green and White

Sing loud and clear 'til the game is done

The best is yet to come."

Her eyes shut as a deep baritone voice kept the song going, coming closer to her barracks. It stopped before she heard the door open and heavy footsteps.

"Lord,

I know as a solider, I'm probably not on your good side right now, but we're going into the Zhari district tomorrow. Not sure if you follow current events, but it's pretty dangerous. I don't care about me sir, I'm here to fight for rights…but the Colonel…she's not. Please make sure that she gets home to whoever is waiting for her in the United States.

In your name I pray."

Her eyes grew heavy as she heard the desperate prayer. Her heart was as heavy as her eyelids as she fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

It was so dry she could taste the dust on her lips

_Thanks for all of the reviews. I'm feeling better today, not 100 yet, but probably 65 and I have to work the weekend. (Running a high school workshop. Two days with 60 high school students. I may commit suicide by the end of it.)_

_Here is the newest chapter. It may be a while for the next one since my next three weeks are packed with real life stuff._

_My cousin just arrived home from Afghanistan. He's safe and sound, but not sure if he wants to go back for a second tour. My brother comes back from his second tour in December._

It was so dry she could taste the dust on her lips. It kicked up under her feet, billowing around her ankles in thick clouds. Her pack was heavy against her back, her helmet riding low over her eyebrows.

"Ready to go Ma'am?" Sean threw his pack onto the armoured vehicle and reached out to grab her pack off her back.

"I can do it Master Corporal, but thanks." She hoisted the heavy bag into the vehicle and smiled. Sean rolled his eyes and handed her an extra large canteen.

"Take it." He said, noticing her look. "It's always good to have extra water on these things. You never know when we get to fill up."

"Thanks." Her smile was soft and genuine. She had taken a shine to the young Master Corporal. Had she known him in a different setting, she would not have guessed he was a solider. A teacher maybe, perhaps even a doctor. But no way, no how, would she have guessed he was a solider. A man trained to kill. He was too soft, too kind. Yet here he was, slinging a rifle over his shoulder. He turned and threw a clod of dirt at a passing solider, who turned and grinned.

"Ma'am, unfortunately, this is the guy who will be making sure our sixes don't get blow up." Sean said with a grin. The other corporal, about 6 inches shorter and 50 lbs lighter turned and extended his hand.

"Corporal Jassen Kane Ma'am." He saluted and gave a smile. "And yes, I'll be the guy watching your sixes. Well, me and Corporal Larouche, Private Howe, and Corporal Hawkins." He motioned at the three other men who saluted and went back to filling the vehicle.

Mac looked over at Sean who smiled. "We've got the best there are. Though, we should get going so we aren't stuck out there in the dark. Let's go boys!"

--

"You seem better." Sturgis said, leaning on the doorframe of Harm's office. He took a tentative sip of the black liquid in his cup. "But your coffee sure hasn't. Are you sure you're not channelling Mac and getting her secret recipe?"

A small smile crossed Harm's lips. "I don't know. I kind of like it." The liquid was deep and robust against his tongue, a taste that he could only imagine was a million times better on her lips.

"Sure ya do buddy. Probably keeps you up all night too. Now you know why Mac is such an insomniac." Sturgis countered stirring in another cream into the cup.

"You're right. I have been able to get a lot more done recently." He took another sip and motioned to the empty chair across from him. "I do feel better. I guess…everyone's right. Mac is a Marine, she's with one of the best trained militaries in the world and to quote the Marine herself 'is with a giant of a Master Corporal.'" He sighed. "I worry about her, but, I'm not doing either of us any favours by worrying, right?"

Sturgis nodded. "You're right. Does that mean your coffee is going to start to resemble…coffee again? I swear, I have 6 sugars in it…and it still tastes like tar." He stared down at the black liquid.

"Probably not." Harm said with a sly smile. He didn't add that he wasn't going to give up coffee making duty until his Marine came home. "Like I said, I'm growing to like it."

"Whatever."

--

"You okay Ma'am?" Sean looked over at Mac who was trying to adjust on the hard seat. "The roads are…less than perfect."

"I'd say." She moved again before giving up. A smile crossed his thin lips that quickly turned into an all out laugh.

"You really don't want to know what we call these roads."

Corporal Hawkins laughed. "The Abortion trail." His dark eyes matched his coffee skin. "So rough it'll give anyone pregnant an abortion."

Mac laughed at the young men's enthusiasm. "Makes me thankful that I don't have to drive these roads all the time."

"Well Ma'am. Between these roads, the Talis running around, the land mines…it makes for an INTERESTING ride."

The sky gradually darkened, the sun dipping below the horizon, darkness bathing the Afghan countryside. As the sun left, the Canadian soldiers stiffened, their bodies tense, their eyes searching the dark war torn country.

Sean frowned, his eyes darkening, creases appearing on his face. "Slow up guys." He waited until Corporal Howe slowed the vehicle and he motioned for the other Corporals to exit the vehicle.

"There's a group of men up ahead." He explained to Mac, who was jumping over the side of the vehicle. He grabbed the radio from one of the men in the front and spoke harshly into it. "The other convoy is going to come. Not sure what the group ahead is, but it's better if we stay back and we go together." His voice was thick with worry. "Shut off the lights Larouche. Don't get them a target." Quickly, they were completely dark.

A language, foreign to her, floated in the air, soft compared to their ragged breathing.

"Pashto." Sean whispered, leaning over the side. "They're not friendlies." His watch was the only light around. "I don't know if we can wait for the rest to arrive."

Mac shuddered, she could feel him close to her, like he was trying to cover her with his large shadow, keep her away from what was imminent. "Boys, those aren't friendlies up ahead. They're not going to let us pass. Not sure if they're Talis or if they're just supporters..." He whispered harshly. The foreign voices were coming closer. "Be ready." He put his mouth close to Mac's ear. "Ma'am. I know you don't take orders from a Master Corporal, but once the shit hits the fan. Stay down. They won't be looking for anyone, especially an officer, in the vehicle. Just stay down." He pleaded.

Even in the darkness, Mac could see the fear in the young man's eyes. "Master Corporal...I'm the officer here..."

He cut her off. "Ma'am. I realize that. But I made a promise to get you back safely, and damn it, I'm not going to break that promise. Now stay down." He handed her the automatic weapon and gently pushed her head down so it was under the level of the vehicle.

She watched as Sean and Jassen jumped over the side of the vehicle followed by the rest of the men. Sean looked back and with a pleading look he motioned of her to duck down.

The sound invaded her ears before the offensively bright light did. Then the sounds that she thought she had gotten rid of forever, burned into her brain. Crying. Screaming. And gunshots. Her training took over. Quicker than an Olympic athlete, she jumped the side of the vehicle and ran towards the sound. Her eyes were glued to the targets ahead before the pain hit her.

In the shoulder. It was like a fire that spread across her body.

Sean looked over his shoulder to see the female officer hit the ground in a cloud of dust and dirt. "SHIT." He cried, his gun still hot in his hand. She was a sitting duck and they knew it.

--

The Admiral took his glasses off and placed them on his desk. "Are you sure?"

"I am." Major-General Stuart's voice crackled on the phone. "They were attacked by a group of insurgents. We haven't been able to make radio contact, but we have three other troops looking for them. We will keep you informed."

"Thank you." AJ placed the phone down and shook his head. _This wasn't happening._ He thought to himself. He stabbed the button the intercom. "Coates. Send in Commanders Turner and Rabb."

_Shit._ Was all he could think of, as he saw the two Commanders stand stiffly in front of him. _Here we go again._

--

"Just DRIVE." Sean said through clenched teeth, as he glared at Jassen who kept looking over his shoulder at him. "Get into the city as fast as you can."

"Sean...there are probably more insurgents there. It's not secure."

"Well we have a choice. Go back the way we came and hit more, or go through. JUST DO IT." His voice was thick with pain. He pressed his hand on Mac's cheek and tapped gently. "Ma'am...Mac...wake up."

"H-Harm?" Her eyes fluttered open.

"Yeah, you're harmed." Sean replied, not understanding the meaning. "You're not very good at following directions." He said shaking his head and trying to check out the damage. "Ma'am, you're going to have to take off your shirt."

"What?" That brought Mac back to reality. "Take off my shirt?" She took a sharp breath, trying to fight through the pain.

"You were shot in the shoulder. My mom is a nurse, I want to make sure that they didn't hit an artery." He gave her a hard look and waited for her to slowly remove her blood stained BDU jacket. Gently he removed her arm from her stained tshirt and shook his head. "Okay, well, it's not red arterial blood, look like they missed the superior thoracic artery." He pressed a piece of cotton against the wound. "Do the same to your leg. And make sure that you hold pressure on your stomach. You caught some flack here."

"You okay?" Mac spied a growing bloodstain on the young man's jacket, his face growing an unhealthy grey colour.

"Fine. Just caught something in the gut. But nothing I can't handle." He forced a smile. "Next time Ma'am. Listen to me."

It was her turn to force a smile.

The wind whistled as they tore through the empty Afghan countryside. "What was that about a promise you made Master Corporal?

Sean shrugged and took in a shaky breath. "I promised the General that I would get you back in one piece. And I don't make promises I can't keep. Apparently your CO made a request." He closed his eyes briefly before opening them and giving her another small smile. Mac reached over and untucked his shirt from his pants.

"Let me take a look." She ordered.

He roughly pushed her away. "I'm FINE."

Her small hands were covered in warm blood. "No you're not. Don't be so damn macho." He shook his head slowly, though relenting and pushing his shirt up.

"Shit Sean."

His large hands shoved his shirt down. "Mac, I didn't make any promises about me getting back safely. Just you. So here's the deal. We're going into the city. We'll find somewhere to stay, find some friendlies, and we'll get a troop to get you back."

"Sean, you NEED a doctor."

He groaned as the vehicle hit a bump. "With all do respect Ma'am, you're my main concern at the moment."

--

"Take a seat Commanders." AJ said slowly, watching the two younger men sit across from him. "I just got off the phone with Major-General Stuart from the Canadian Armed Forces." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "The vehicle that Colonel Mackenzie was in was ambushed on their way to the Zhari district. So far, no casualties have been reported."

Harm tensed, his eyes turning a darkened shade of grey. Sturgis shook his head slowly, swallowing hard.

"But, no one is hurt, right?"

"So far, we have no reports." AJ replied, his eyes never leaving Harm's face. For someone as expressive as Harm was, no one could read his face, read his body language.

"When will we know?" Harm asked, his voice higher than normal.

"The Major-General is a good man, and an acquaintance of mine. He assured me that Mac is with his best troops and they have other troops out looking. There is NOTHING we can do to help at the moment." He stared hard at Harm who was staring at a spot behind him. "You heard me, there is NOTHING we can do."

"Yes sir."

Sturgis nodded. "Understood sir."

"Harm?"

"Understood. Is that all? Sir?"

AJ nodded. "Dismissed."

Sturgis and Harm left quickly, both heading towards Harm's office.

"Sturgis…"

"Yeah?"

"Can you call your father? I…think I need to talk to him."


	6. Chapter 6

"There's a roadblock ahead

_A/N – Sorry about the delay in this chapter. We had a massive incident this week, though everything is back to normal, almost. I have been pulling in 14 hour days, and next week is no better. (Actually worse.)_

_Anyway, onto the story._

"There's a roadblock ahead."

Sean opened his eyes and blinked madly trying to focus on the road ahead. "Roadblock? Friendlies or not?" He groaned, trying to sit up.

"Not sure." Jassen said, with Corporal Hawkins looking back. "How you guys holding up back there?"

"'Kay." Sean replied, moving slowly. He looked over at Mac who was sleeping fitfully, her hair matted with dried blood. "Ma'am…Ma'am…" Gently, he shook her shoulder.

"Harm?" She muttered, opening her eyes slowly. "Hey…why are your eyes brown?" Her hand reached out to softly touch Sean's bloodied and dirtied face. "Your eyes are supposed to be blue…"

He knew she wasn't talking to him. Obviously she was talking to someone named Harm, someone with blue eyes. He reached his large hand out and gently brushed some hair out of her face.

"Harm…Flyboy…what's wrong?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Sean shook her gently until her eyes cleared. "Sean…Master Corporal? Sorry…I fell asleep."

"There's a road block up ahead. We're not sure if they're friendlies are not." He moved gingerly and pulled himself up as the vehicle came to a stop. His dark eyes silently told her to stay sitting, which she was happily to oblige.

Sean's strong voice flowed in the air in a foreign language over the others. She couldn't be sure if they were arguing or just conversing, but there was something about it that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Private Howe and Corporal Larouche walked towards the group. Mac could feel the tension even fifty feet away. Sean said something and nodded to Jassen who quickly trotted back to the vehicle.

"He's not sure if they're friendlies or not, but they don't appear to be Taliban, probably supporters though." Jassen explained to Mac who was pulling herself up. The other three quickly joined him.

"Let's go and head towards town." Sean said slowly. "Make sure we stay on the main road, I'm sure those bastards planted mines."

Silence surrounded them before an explosion rocked the vehicle and broke the unnerving silence of the Afghan night.

Mac felt his hard body cover hers, shielding her from the flaming vehicle.

--

Chaplin Turner gave Harm a soft smile. "I'm here to listen, not to judge." His dark face was soft and understanding. He watched as his son's closest friend took a deep breath, trying to swallow the pain and suffering that was bubbling up.

"I never got the chance…to tell her…I mean, I did. But over email." He closed his eyes. "I'm a chicken, I was too scared to say anything. We were…we were finally friends again. And I couldn't take the first step." His chest rose shakily, his breathing coming more and more ragged. "And now, I may never get the chance." A large tear rolled down his cheek.

"Harm. Does she know how you feel?"

His massive shoulders lifted up. "I've waited too long. We've…never been able to figure it out." He felt the weight of a book in his hands. A passage was highlighted and he looked at the Chaplin with fear written over his face.

"Just read it Commander."

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves." His voice cracked as the words began to blur behind hot tears.

"Never give up." Chaplin Turner's deep baritone voice reverberated in his head. "Pray for hope…pray for faith. Pray of her and the troops…and pray for you."

Harm swallowed hard, trying to push the limp that was rising in his throat.

--

Sean opened his eyes, half expecting to see bright lights of a hockey rink staring back at him, and the strong smell of salts under his nose. But instead he was staring at the dark empty sky, the smell of copper invading his nostrils. That's when he remembered where he was. In Afghanistan. Lying on his back with his body screaming in pain. He rolled over and caught part of their armoured vehicle burning. _"They better not make me pay for that."_ He thought. Then he remembered the others. His body protested as he sat up on his haunches and surveyed the wreckage. Something moved to his right, a moan rising from the figure. Sitting up slowly, he saw Mac mimic his movements and look around.

"Ma'am?" He sat up on his haunches and surveyed the wreck. The vehicle was flipped on it's side, engulfed in flames. He shrugged his pack off and keeping low to the ground made his way to Mac.

"Ma'am?" Relief washed over his face when she opened her eyes and wiped them with her hands.

"Yeah." Her voice was cracked and gravely, but to him, there was no better sound. "What the hell happened?"

"Mine." Sean rocked on his heels and looked around. A small movement caught his eye along with a human groan. Their eyes met.

"Go." She said sitting up and leaning against her pack.

He covered the space quickly with his long legs. Jassen was struggling to sit up, his pack weighing him down, his obviously broken arm pinned underneath it.

"You gonna help me up or just stare at me?" Jassen said staring up at his friend.

Gently, Sean wrestled the pack off him and pulled the man to his feet. "Where are the other two?"

With a brief jerk of his thumb, Jassen frowned. "Got caught in the front. No way out man."

Mac watched as the young man leaned over on his knees and retched into the sand. The unmistakable smell of burning flesh filled her nostrils. The pain in her midsection and leg were subsiding, though her shoulder still hurt like a sonofabitch. Silently, she sent a prayer to whichever God was winning the fight for supremacy in this country for them. And for her friends at home. For a brief second, she questioned who was worse off.

--

His blue eyes flew open, cold beads of sweat running down his chest in rivers, pooling under him. Stomach in knots, chest heaving, hands shaking, he rushed to the washroom and retched in the toilet. _It was so clear, so real._ He thought. He saw Mac in the back of an armoured vehicle, blood covering her shirt, pain in her beautiful brown eyes. Then, her in a desert, more blood and dirt obscuring her features, but pain and fear more apparent. The sound of screaming and gunshots filled his dreams, and prayed that they didn't fill her reality.

_Men cry to, they just don't let anyone see._

He cried. Not just cried, but bawled. Every emotion he ever felt for her came out. On the cold tile floor of his washroom, Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. cried.


	7. Chapter 7

Sean's face glowed under the soft of the small fire they made

AN – Thanks for all of the reviews! And be impressed, I'm early with this chapter. I have an awesome bout of insomnia and figured I should put it to semi good use. Hope you enjoy it.

Sean's face glowed under the soft of the small fire they made. Jassen snored softly, curled up in a ball surrounded by their packs. Mac watched the young man prod the fire and settle back down beside her.

"How's your shoulder?"

Mac shrugged and gave a rueful smile. "Sore, but I'll live. How's your stomach?"

"Well, my family won't be receiving a visit any time soon." He replied with a smirk, picking dried blood off of his arm. "Though, it would make my brother happy if they got a call."

Her eyebrows disappeared behind her hair. "Your own BROTHER wants you dead?"

Sean rummaged through his pants pocket and pulled out two laminated pictures. He stared at one before handing it over to her. "That was us when Brendan got asked to play up two divisions and play on my hockey team." Two boys, with matching grins stood side-by-side wearing the same jerseys. The dark haired one wore a smile of pride, the smaller blonde one, a smile of pure ecstasy. "He's stopped talking to me since I joined up. He says it's not our war to fight, that we're just legalized murderers."

The sound of the fire surrounded them. He leaned over and wrapped an emergency blanket around Mac's shoulders before sticking a cigarette in his mouth.

"I don't smoke." He explained, lighting the stick.

Sticking her hand out, Mac took the burning cigarette and brought it to her lips. "Neither do I."

--

"Have you told Commander Rabb yet?" Sturgis asked watching the Admiral pace across his office. "You know he's going to…well…"

AJ stared out his window. "I know exactly what Rabb is going to do. And no, he hasn't come in yet."

"He needs to know sir."

"I know that Commander." AJ replied tersely. "But, for his career…and for mine, he can't resign his commission. Again." He turned to look at Sturgis. "And we both know…"

"He will."

AJ leaned on his desk and sighed. "Game plan, Commander Turner?"

"Besides locking him up until Mac gets back?"

--

"Game plan?"

"We get into the city and wait for them to come and get us." Sean said as Jassen pulled his knees up to his chest.

"Not much of a game plan Sean."

"You got anything better, Kane?" Sean asked, turning to glare at his friend. "Just wait here and wait for the Taliban to kill us?"

"Better than walking right to them!" Jassen replied.

Mac opened her eyes and watched the two young men stand up, eye to eye.

"Is that right, CORPORAL. If that what you want to do, GO RIGHT AHEAD." Sean said, glowering over the much smaller man.

"STAND DOWN CORPORALS!" Mac cried, getting herself between the two men. "I said STAND DOWN."

They glared at each other before lowering their eyes. She glared at each of the young men. "What the HELL do you think you are doing? LAST time I checked, we're in this together."

Jassen shook his head and went back to sitting down amongst their packs, glaring at Sean. Sean in turn glared at Jassen and walked to the other side of the fire. Caught in the middle, Mac glared at both of them and turned to the biggest brooding child.

"How far is town from here, on foot?"

Sean picked up a handful of sand and let it fall through his giant fingers. "Few hours, depending on how fast we can go." He said, his voice dropping to whisper. "And if we make it through the mine fields."

Settling down beside him, Mac gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "When we get through this. Come on, I'm sure your girlfriend wants to see you."

"What girlfriend?" His eyes dropped. "Got dumped the day I left. I think her quote was _'You can't expect me to wait for you to come home in a casket.'_" A silence wrapped around them. "What about you Ma'am? Husband and kids at home?"

She shook her head. "No, just me."

His dark eyes, lit up by the small fire, flickered. "Ma'am. Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Go ahead Sean."

"When…I tried to wake you up earlier. You…called me…Harm. And Flyboy." His pale face turned red under all of the dirt and blood.

She pulled a worn and bent picture out of her pocket and passed it over to Sean. "That's Harm. He's my partner and best friend."

He ran a large finger over the picture. "You two look really happy."

"We have our ups and downs, but I know he'll always be there to watch my six." She safely tucked the picture back in her pocket.

"He sounds important. And a good guy." Sean watched as her face seemed to calm as she spoke about her partner, her friend.

"He is. I…care about him a lot."

"I can tell." He let another handful of sand slip through his fingers. They sat and watched the fire burn.

--

"No." AJ shook his head. "No hope in HELL Commander."

Harm clenched his teeth. "With all due respect, SIR…"

AJ cut him off. "Lose it Commander. We've been through this already if I recall correctly. Do you speak Farsi?"

"No."

"Then you're not going. I know you care for Mac, we all do. But we have to be smart here son." His face softened. "You can't just resign your commission and fly off to find her every time she's deployed."

"Sir. Mac's in trouble. I…just…FEEL it." He pleaded with his CO, trying to get him to understand.

"Son, I've spoken with General Stuart. They've got troops out looking for them. There's nothing we can do from here, or there." He leaned against his desk and stared at the younger officer. "Harm, look at me."

Harm raised his eyes, his blue hard as steel. AJ could feel the anger and frustration that rose from the Commander. "If there is anyway anyone from my office can go over there, I'll let you know."

"Yes sir."

The bullpen winced when Harm slammed his door and Sturgis came flying out of his office, his law books tumbling down like an avalanche. But even he wouldn't go face Harm.

--

Sean couldn't sleep. He took a shakey breath as he dabbed more alcohol on his wound. It didn't take a genius to know that it was bad, and time was not his friend. The fire had long since gone out, the sky threatening to brighten in a few hours, silence so loud it was deafening. Jassen hadn't moved from his position amongst their packs, Mac was sleeping fitfully wrapped up in two shiny emergency blankets. His large hand clenched tightly around the charm he kept in his pocket, Saint Michael the patron saint of soldiers engraved in silver. It was a last minute gift his sister and her husband bought him, a reminder that he was never alone.

Memories of home flashed before him. His mom, the way she made sure he didn't see her cry when he was deployed. His father, the way he oozed nothing but pride when he said he was going to fight. His sister and her husband, the way they sent letters and videos every month. Even his brother, as angry as he was, their last conversation echoing in his head. _"Just don't get yourself killed, okay?"_

"_I won't."_

"_I'm gonna hold you to that."_

"_You better."_

From shaking lips, he did the only thing he knew how to calm himself. The melody flowed naturally, his deep baritone voice carrying the tune in the barren desert.

"Blessed be your name  
When I'm found in the desert place  
Though I walk through the wilderness  
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,  
I turn back to praise  
When the darkness closes in, Lord…  
Still I will say…"

His dirty hands did nothing more than smear the blood and dirt around with the tears. Unbeknownst to him, a pair of brown eyes watched him, listening to his melodic words. She watched him tuck the charm deep inside his pocket and wipe his face clear of any stray tears. Closing her eyes to spare the young man any embarrassment she feigned sleep, waiting for the morning to come. Silently she sent up a prayer of her own. Not for herself, but for her friends, who she knew were in more pain than she was despite her bleeding wounds.

_The song Blessed be your name is performed by Tree63._


	8. Chapter 8

"Won't

Sorry about the long wait. Work has been…crazy…and I took a weekend off to head to California to visit my boyfriend. I hope to be a bit better with the next chapter, but I cannot promise. And I will be gone for ALL of December. VACATION!!

And yes, I know I'm being really mean to Harm in this chapter, but he's a big boy. He can deal.

_--_

"Won't. Let. Me. Go." He muttered each word punctuated by a flurry of punches on the defenceless bag. "She's. My. Partner." The bag swung dangerously as he attacked it again. "Stupid. Effing. Rules." His whole body ached, the longer he stayed in the gym. Sturgis and Bud watched as he punches became more and more erratic, the small thread of self-control finally broken. With one final punch he collapsed under his own pain and grief, the tears finally falling freely. Strong arms hooked her his, lifting him and carrying him to the nearest chair.

"I love her, you know." He whispered to no one in particular.

Bud's eyes met Sturgis's, a silent understanding met between the two men. "Come on buddy, grab a seat."

"If anything happens to her…I won't be able to live. I…never told her. I…" He placed his hands in his arms and sat silently.

Sturgis sighed, placing a towel around Harm's neck. "How 'bout we grab something to drink?"

He replied no answer, just a glare of contempt.

--

"Is all you ever do whine?" Sean asked readjusting his rifle over his shoulder. He placed his over Mac's that he had already taken from her. _"To make sure she didn't aggravate farther her shoulder."_ He explained with a smile.

"It's 10am. It's 100 degrees. I have half a canteen of water left. And my arm is BROKEN SEAN. I THINK I HAVE A RIGHT TO COMPLAIN!" Jassen said glaring at the bigger man.

"I'm right here with you Jassen." Sean replied keeping his eyes on the road. "And I have some extra water."

"Of course YOU do. Mister perfect ALWAYS has extras." Jassen spat.

Mac rolled her eyes, listening to the men argue. Sean kept calm, stopping every once in a while to wait for her or adjust her pack to keep the weight off her injured shoulder. Jassen on the other hand, was as angry as a bear caught in a trap. He was angry, obnoxious and took every opportunity to insult Sean.

"Seriously Jassen, we have a few more hours to go. Can you SHUT UP for FIVE MINUTES?" Sean finally asked, staring at his watch. "We can even make it a GAME. It's called 'LETS BE QUIET!' Can you be quiet for…5 minutes?"

"Don't patronize me, Christopher."

Stopping and placing his pack on the ground, Sean squatted and pulled out his canteen. He ripped open a small package and dumped it in the water before taking a sip. "Electrolyte powder." His dark eyes followed Mac as he thrust the canteen in her hands. "Drink."

"It's yours..." She said, trying to hand it back.

"I've already taken a package. Just drink it."

Jassen glared as Mac tentatively took a sip of the tepid water. "So do I get any, or is it just for her?" He asked staring at Sean.

"Here." The package hit Jassen in the chest.

"Why does SHE get the water?"

Sean sighed and replaced his pack. "If you haven't noticed, Colonel Mackenzie is an officer. Kind of our job." Sweat dripped down his face, a forced smile on his face, his freckles standing out more than usual.

"You okay Sean?" Mac asked, replacing the cap on the canteen and looking up at the young man.

"Mmm hmm." He dug the toe of his boot into the sand, trying to calm his breathing. A wave of nausea swept over him. "Let's…keep walking." His large body struggled to straighten, the pain shooting down his abdomen. "We still have a ways to go."

"We can sit down."

"No Ma'am, we should keep going. Only about an hour to go." He swallowed hard, forcing the bile to keep from rising.

--

"Commander Rabb…Commander Turner…the Admiral wants to see you in his office." Tiner said, catching the men before they headed to their respective offices.

Harm knocked on the doorframe.

"ENTER."

In his office stood two men and a woman. "Commanders. Commander Rabb, I understand you have met now, Mr. Christopher." The Admiral said, nodding to the older man.

"Yes sir, had the opportunity to work with him on an investigation about a deserter who had taken refuge in Canada." Harm said shaking the Canadian's hand. "But if I may ask, why are you here now sir?"

Thom laughed, a deep laugh that filled the room. "Well Commander, I am now the liaison between the Canadian and American militaries." He said, running his hand over his bald head. "This is Major Alexandra Gianinni and Major Michael Stuart, they are on the next flight out of Andrews heading to Kandahar."

Sturgis looked over at Harm, who swallowed and nodded. "Yes sir."

"We require at least one JAG from the US to escort them." Thom finished, looking at AJ who was leaning against his desk.

"Commander Turner, would you be up to head over to Afghanistan?" AJ asked.

"Um...yes sir...but sir..." He wasn't used to being caught off guard, or stuttering for that matter.

"Good, it is settled then. I need someone to make sure Commander Rabb doesn't do anything stupid." He said with a rueful smile.

Harm grinned, standing a bit straighter. The sound of Tiner's voice brought him back to reality.

"Major-General Stuart is on line 1 sir."

"Thank you Tiner. Patch him through." AJ said, walking around his desk. He motioned to the others to sit, Thom optioning to stand behind the Admiral.

"Good morning Rick." Thom said, once he heard the distinctive sound of the overseas call kick in.

"Technically it is morning here Thom. 0100. I imagine everyone is there now?"

"We are." AJ said, looking around. "Commanders Turner and Rabb, and Majors Gianinni and Stuart."

"Good. I will update you on the situation. From what we know, Master Corporal Christopher, Colonel Mackenzie and their armoured vehicle ran into a roadblock of Taliban sympathizers and hit a mine. We have yet been able to deploy troops to investigate because of a violent outburst and we have no one that speaks the language. That is where you come in Major Gianinni. Sorry it happens to be so close to your separation from the military."

"It is fine sir. I request to be able to name my own team for the investigation." She said her blue eyes never leaving the wall behind Thom and AJ.

"Of course Major. Who do you have in mind?"

"Private K. Christopher. Corporal C. Howe. Corporal T. McGregor. Lieutenant K Russell and Lieutenant D Helm." She said without looking over at her partner.

"I will inform them Major. Now, I would like to speak privately with Mr. Christopher and Admiral Chegwidden."

The four officers jumped to attention and turned to leave the office, the two Canadian officers, a few steps ahead of their Navy counterparts.

"Hold up, Major Gianinni. I would like to be involved in the investigation also." Harm said, catching up to the green clad officer.

She stopped and stared at the two Navy men, her bright blue eyes running over their badges and ribbons. "I know you do sir, but I'm not going there to babysit. I have 20 days a wakeup. We're going in, getting the bodies and heading out."

"But I can help." Harm exclaimed.

"Can you speak Pashto? Farsi? Heck, can you even speak French Commander? Sir, I don't mean to be rude, and I don't know you or your relationship with Colonel Mackenzie, but, I don't need you to be a liability." Her eyes never left his face. "Now if you excuse us…we have 2 hours and 42 minutes until we leave."

Sturgis watched the Canadian soldiers as they quickly left the bullpen. "Well Harm, at least you get to go…"

Harm shrugged before turning on his heel and heading off to his office.


	9. Chapter 9

"What is the first thing you are going to do when you get home

_A/N – Sorry this chapter took forever. My work schedule has been less than ideal and Thanksgiving was stuck in the middle of it all. Here is the next chapter. _

"What is the first thing you are going to do when you get home?" Mac asked, watching Sean squat trying to catch his breath.

"Visit…my…family…" He said softly. His face was grey, his large body shaking. "I… have a…nephew who…doesn't know me…What…'bout you…?"

"See my friends. Take a long bubble bath."

Sean laughed before it turned into a wheeze. "How about Harm?" He looked up at Mac with a strained smile on his face.

"And see Harm." She stood over the young man as he rinsed his mouth of with the water out of his canteen. "You're sure you're okay?"

He shook his head. "No. We just need to get to town." Straightening up, he adjusted the pack on his back and handed her rifle to her. "Just in case." His breath evened out, instinct taking over. "Jase. Go up ahead, make sure it's all clear."

The town came into view as they walked over the hill. "All clear so far." Jassen said, motioning to the other two. Sean nudged Mac in front of him and watched as the officer kept her rifle tight to her shoulder.

"Just let me get her there." He said to himself before following them.

--

Harm sat down beside the young Major who cocked his head to the side and gave a small smile. "Hi Sir. We weren't properly introduced. I'm Major Michael Stuart." He extended his hand for a firm shake.

"Commander Harmon Rabb." Harm motioned to Sturgis who was sitting across from them. "That's Commander Sturgis Turner." He looked over his shoulder at the other Major who was flipping through files and furiously making notes. Her dark curly hair fell in front of her eyes before she wrapped it up in a pencil and went back to making notes. "She always like that?" He whispered.

Major Stuart smiled and shook his head. "No. Never. Though, I kind of understand. It's her last case, she's in the reserves right now, just moved with her husband and baby. She's the only one that can speak all of the dialects and is a lawyer. I just wish it didn't have to be THIS case."

"What do you mean?"

"Going in to a war torn country to find your brother? Kind of rough."

"Her brother? You mean…Master Corporal Christopher?"

"Yeah. You didn't know? She was Major Alexandra Christopher before she got married."

--

The town was quiet, too quiet. Doors were shut, people huddled inside, no doubt waiting for the next bomb or fire fight. Sean walked straighter than he had in the past few hours, a facade of strength evident. Gunshots rang out behind them, breaking the heavy silence. Sean motioned to get behind a small wall. The shots came closer.

"Shit, they're supporters." Sean whispered. His body instinctively stiffened as a family streamed out of their home. Sean closed his eyes trying to block out the words that burned into his head. "Get down" He mumbled pushing Mac's head below the wall.

"What are they saying?"

Sean shook his head and poked his head around the corner of the wall. A father, mother and two adult males were standing against the wall, pleading. A young girl and boy stood off to the side, an older soviet made rifle pointed at them. He knew what was going to happen next.

Gunshots and screaming rang through the empty streets. He watched as the armed men turned their back and he made his move. His large body grabbed the boy, while Mac fast on his tail. He had enough time to look back before everything went black.

--

"Three vehicles." Alexandra said, sitting with her leg tucked under her on the stiff wooden chair. "We're also going to need three drivers, I'm not sure who, but I trust you two to find them." She looked at the two young lieutenants, Darren Helm and Kris Russell, who both nodded.

"Yes Ma'am. How soon should we tell them Ma'am?" The shorter Lieutenant Russell asked.

"Tomorrow. We're heading out at 0400." He face was already slightly pink despite just arriving in the country, her hair curlier and wilder. "We're getting them out."

"Yes Ma'am." The taller and almost painfully blonde Lieutenant Helm replied softly. "We will get them out. Just tell us what to do."

She pulled her hair back into a resemblance of a ponytail and sighed. "Come back in three hours, bring the rest of them and we'll go over the game plan." She said softly, looking at Michael who smiled gently. "Dismissed."

Harm stood outside of the small makeshift office and saluted the two young lieutenants who exited. He smoothed his shirt and took a deep breath. He had a feeling that he would need all of his wit and charm to get what he wanted this time. With a final once over he knocked on the wood.

"Enter."

The room was dark, just a tent propped up by chipboard walls. Major Gianinni sat in the middle, her BDU jacket unbuttoned, the desk resembling Mac's back at JAG. Major Stuart was off to the side a pile of paper neatly stacked and sorted.

"Yes Commander?" She asked leaning her face on her elbows making her look like a teenager bored with a lesson taught at school. "What can I do for you?"

"I want to come." Harm sat down on the wooden chair in front of her. "Hear me out, okay?"

Alexandra motioned for him to continue, not without rolling her eyes.

"Major…I need to be there."

"Sir. I can't let you go. I promised both YOUR CO and my father that I would keep you in line, and that meant, specifically, making sure that you didn't go and play hero to save Colonel Mackenzie." Her blue eyes were apologetic.

Harm swallowed hard and switched tactics. "Major, how long have you been married?"

"Two years six months and 17 days. Why?" Her eyes narrowed.

"Would you go after your husband if he was taken hostage?"

The young Major jumped up like she had been electrocuted. "Major Stuart, I need to talk to Commander Rabb, alone please." As soon as the other man had left she glared at Harm. "You have NO right to ask me that Commander. And last time I checked you and Colonel Mackenzie are not married."

"It doesn't mean I love her any less than you love your husband." Harm said softly. He lowered his eyes and waited for her to say something.

"They warned me." She said.

"Major…"

"Alex, please. They warned me that you and Colonel Mackenzie had…a bond." She perched on the edge of the desk and shook her head. "I didn't realise that…" Her voice trailed off. "Sorry Harm. I can't."

"If it's Admiral Chegwidden, I can handle him. Please. Alex. I need to go."

She bit her lower lip and shook her head. "Do you know where Admiral Chegwidden goes for a week for his leave every summer?"

"Yeah. Fishing. Up north somewhere in Saskatchewan…" His voice trailed off. "Your dad has a cabin in Saskatchewan, doesn't he?"

"Yes. They met about 15 years back, working a case together. I promised both of them that I would keep you safe. I would be breaking probably a dozen rules…and wrecking my father's AND Admiral's Chegwidden's trust in me…forever." She began to ramble. With a sigh she sat down on her hard chair. "Let me call them."

"Thanks Alex. You're the greatest." He flashed her his stunning grin.

"You can say my Eulogy then." She moaned, her forehead flat on the desk. "Get Mike to bring the phone when he comes in."

--

"Major Gianinni on line two." Tiner buzzed.

AJ looked at Thom who was calmly drinking his coffee. "Thanks Tiner." He pressed the speaker phone button and cleared his throat. "Admiral Chegwidden."

"Admiral. It's Major Gianinni."

"Major. Everyone made it over there safe I am assuming."

"You would assume right sir." They could hear her take a deep breath.

"Here it comes." Thom whispered with a smile.

"Sir. I would like to request Commander Rabb come with us on the rescue mission." Her voice was strong, but both men knew she was shaking.

"Major, did you not understand my DIRECT orders?" AJ asked, flashing a smile at Thom.

"Sir, I did. But I spoke with the Commander and he…explained his connection to the Colonel. I believe, that he would be an asset to the operation."

The silence hung in the air.

"Take Commander Turner with you." He jabbed the off button on his phone and stared at Thom. "You owe me 20."

Thom shook his head. "I under estimated Rabb."

"No, you over estimated your daughter's ability to resist the Rabb charm." AJ sighed. "At least Commander Turner will keep him out of trouble."

"You think?"

AJ sat down and stirred his coffee. "I hope."


	10. Chapter 10

His head hurt

_A/N – Imagine this. A chapter that you don't have to wait 3 weeks for! I had a few extra hours today so I decided to put them to "good" use._

_I had a message asking me if I was in the military. Short answer is no. I was accepted to the RMC but blew my shoulder and knee out my graduating summer so because of physical reasons I couldn't go. _

_Anyway, there's your answer! Happy reading!_

His head hurt. Hell, his whole body hurt. Part of him thanked that he was still alive, until he took a breath. Then he wished he was dead. His lungs burned, white pain flashed before his eyes.

"Ah. You alive. Yes?" A brown face peered down at him.

Sean swallowed hard and tried to sit up. "Y-Yea." He croaked.

"No. Stay. You…hurt. Bad." The woman said, gently pushed him back down on the bed.

"Others?" Sean whispered harshly.

"Yes. Man, he good. Woman. Not so good."

"Alive?"

The woman nodded emphatically. "Yes. Alive."

"What is your name?" Sean asked softly in Pashto.

"Naeema." She replied wiping his forehead with a wet cloth.

"Blessing." Sean whispered. "Where is…the woman?"

Naeema pointed to the left. Sean moved his head slowly and caught a glimpse of Mac's blanketed body in the bed next to him. He closed his eyes as the pain became too much and fell back asleep.

--

Alex adjusted her pistol strapped to her thigh and pulled her hair into pigtails below her ears and stepped into the dawn. She tucked her tan Tshirt into her BDU pants and surveyed the activity. Lieutenants Helm and Russell hopped down from the armoured vehicles and came to attention in front of her.

"We're almost ready, Major." Lieutenant Helm said wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Good. Have Corporal McGregor go with you, Lieutenant Russell, Major Stuart and Commander Turner in the first vehicle. Private Christoper, Corporal Howe and Commander Rabb will come with me."

"Ma'am…are you sure?" Lieutenant Russell asked, stepping forward. The stories of Commander Rabb were myth-like and they adored the Major like an older sister and didn't want her to be 'taken' by Rabb.

"Thanks for your concern Russ, but I can handle Commander Rabb." She smiled and threw her BDU jacket over her shoulders.

Harm and Sturgis walked out of their lean on and saluted the two lieutenants. "How's everything going Major?" Sturgis asked eyeing the frantic activity, wincing at the sounds of mortar rounds in the background.

"Almost ready Commander Turner. You, are going to be riding with Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee here. If you have any problems, ask the blonde one. He's more trustworthy than the darkhaired one." Alex said winking at the two younger officers. "They can show you around Sturgis."

The tall Naval officer followed the two young Lieutenants over to the armoured vehicle and they started animatedly explaining what was going on.

Harm watched the young Major direct her small troop. "Is there anything you want me to do to help Major?"

She cocked her head and examined Harm. "You have a gun?"

"Yep." He patted his leg where his Navy issue pistol was strapped to his thigh.

With a giant sigh she turned back to the activities. "For the love of God, just don't shoot anyone."

--

The farther they got out of Kandahar the quieter it got. The sun rose lazily into the sky, flooding the desert with golden light. Alex pulled her sunglasses over her light eyes and adjusted in the cab of the truck. Harm gave her a small smile which she returned with a sigh.

"Are you okay?"

She shrugged and looked out the window. "Job is a job, right?" Her helmet slid down and she adjusted again to shove it up higher on her brow. "Sometimes...I just wish that no one in my family was ever involved in the military. I saw how many nights my mom would stay up worrying about my dad. I just went through RMC so I didn't have to pay for law school, figured I would serve my time in the reserves and leave. Then this happened." She wiped her eyes under the dark sunglasses and stared out the window. "If it was anyone else, it would be different, but it's my brother. I guess...we're kind of in the same boat. Both trying to rescue someone we love."

He nodded and looked through the dusty windshield. "Except your brother knows you love him."

Alex laughed. "Sir, my brother and I fought most of the time we were together, but, unlike marriages, you can't divorce family. You have to kill them." Her voice trailed off. "Though I would like my son to meet his uncle."

"How old is your son?"

"15 months." She dug deep into the pocket of her BDU pants and pulled out a laminated picture. "It was taken a few weeks before we left. That's Dante and my husband Cody." A young boy with tight dark curls stood holding the hands of his father. The boy's blue eyes matched his parents.

"He's adorable."

She smiled and placed the picture back in her pocket. "Husband is Italian. His mother was upset that her married a non Italian, so we appeased her by naming him Dante."

Harm pulled a picture out of his vest and passed it over to Alex. "That's Me. And Colonel Mackenzie."

She looked at him with a sympathetic smile. "You two look perfect together."

"Too bad we found out too late." He stared out the window and blinked the hot tears away.

Her radio crackled and brought her attention back to the road.

"Ma'am. The town is in sight. We're clear so far." Lieutenant Helm reported.

"Thank you Lieutenant. Let's keep going, but keep our eyes peeled." She put the radio down and adjusted her glasses again. "God help us, we're going into the eye of the hurricane."

Their vehicles slowly made their way into the town, crawling at a pace that was only achievable by snails and large military vehicles. Lieutenant Russell hopped off the vehicle along with Corporal McGregor and Major Stuart. Private Christopher and Corporal Howe followed suit and led the small caravan through the almost empty streets.

Alex flipped through a small hand written notebook and grabbed the radio. "Helmer, make sure they're careful up there. The house is a few streets down, but we're getting into volatile territory." She put the radio down and looked at Harm. "Get ready. And follow my orders Commander. If I tell you to stay back, you sure as hell better STAY BACK." She tilted her sunglasses down and glared at Harm over them. "Understood?"

"Yes Ma'am." Harm leaned back against the seat and watched as Alex slid gracefully from the cab. Lieutenant Helm joined her and they walked along side the armored vehicle, rifles ready.

A loud explosion followed by foreign yelling broke the silence. Alex motioned for her small troop to get into their positions. Her strong voice carried through the empty streets. A short burst of gunfire was here answer back.

Had they not been in the position they were in, Harm would have laughed at the Major's reaction. She shook her head, spewed out a stream of profanity in about seven different languages before she pulled herself up onto the side of the truck. "Commander. I want you in the second vehicle with Commander Turner." She pulled the door open as she hopped down.

Harm quickly made his way into the second vehicle without arguing. Sturgis gave him a small smile. "I'm still pissed at you for dragging me into this." He said shifting in the cramped space.

"But you know why I have to do it, right?" Harm asked, his eyes pleading with his friend.

"More than you know." Came Sturgis's reply softer than he had expected. "I'm under direct orders from a certain Major to 'keep your ass in line' along with some scary looks from her henchmen."

"I got the riot speech too." Harm said, his eyes never leaving the people in front of them, slowly making their way into the dusty empty streets.

--

Gunshots woke him up. He knew from the sound that they weren't rebels. Sean struggled and pulled himself into a sitting position. "Rafiq." He muttered softly as Naeema huddled in a corner. "They're friends." He had no energy to translate. "Come to help."

The pain began to force him out of consciousness. He licked his dry lips and took a deep breath. "Come on guys, get us out of here."

--

"You okay Russ?"

The young lieutenant looked up at his friend and nodded. "Yeah, just got the wind knocked out of me." He sat in the dirt, blown backwards by the force of the explosion.

Alex rushed towards them. "Stay back. I don't think they're rebels…maybe supporters. I'm going to try and talk to them. I'll take Katie with me. They may respond better to two women. Less intimidating." She motioned for the female corporal to join her.

"Are you sure Ma'am?" Lieutenant Helm asked, helping his friend to his feet.

"Cover our sixes." She said before confidently striding out into the street.

"What the hell is she doing?" Harm asked, straining to see past the other vehicle. "She's going out into the middle of the road. What the hell?" He opened the door.

"No way Harm. You're going to get shot." Sturgis grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back into the cab.

"She's going to get shot. And so will our chances of getting them out alive." Harm replied jumping down to the road.

Alex nodded as she spoke to a heavily armed man. He wasn't any older than she was and spoke Pashto with a slight English accent. "We just want to get our people out. You do not want their blood on your hands."

The man seemed to contemplate her words. "You kill my family." He said softly. "My brother. My cousins. All died because of YOUR troops." He pointed his rifle at her.

"We are here to help." Her voice was confident and strong. "Free your people from the Taliban."

"The Taliban is here to help us!" He spat. "You know nothing!"

Alex removed her sunglasses and looked at the young man. "How many family members have you lost because of the Taliban?" A young girl appeared at his side and tugged on the bottom of his robe. "Your daughter. She deserves to live in a place where she can be educated…like you were. You're a logical and fair man. Allow us to get our people."

He turned his head and yelled into a small house. Two men walked out, one Arabic, the other wearing dirty and bloodied BDUs. "The others are with my sister. This one can walk. The other two cannot." He raised his rifle to put over his shoulder. "I will show you." Shooing the little girl away he turned towards the other man. "Abdel. We will take this woman to see her friends." He signalled with his rifle.

She heard footsteps and yelling behind her. A burst of fire hit the armoured vehicle from Abdel that made them all hit the ground. "Don't even think about it." Harm's voice rang loud and clear in the stunned silence.

Alex slammed her fist on the dirt as she watched the two men scurry away.


	11. Chapter 11

The left straight hit him hard, followed by a right cross

_A/N – Thank you for all of the support I have gotten. This week at work has gone better than expected so I had a few moments of free time. Here is the next chapter. I hope it meets everyone's standards._

The left straight hit him hard, followed by a right cross. Had it been from anyone else he would have expected it and blocked it, but not from the female Major. And it cost him, though he was thankful she wasn't five inches taller and 70 pounds heavier. Or else it would have cost him more than a bloody nose. Her eyes flashed and her fists clenched and unclenched at her side.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" She screeched taking another step towards Harm who was still holding his bleeding nose. "THEY WERE GOING TO RELEASE COLONEL MACKENZIE AND MASTER CORPORAL CHRISTOPHER." Her voice became icy. "You may very well have cost BOTH of them their lives. You and your FUCKING stupidity."

"I thought it was a trap." He replied softly, sniffing back the dripping blood.

"Well you THOUGHT wrong Commander." She turned to Major Stuart who hadn't moved a muscle since the argument started. "Mike. I need to…I need to go rethink how we're going to get them now. You, deal with Commander fuckup here, before I shoot him." She stormed off with the two lieutenants and the injured solider on her heels.

Harm looked up at Sturgis who slowly walked up to him. "I did it now, didn't I?"

"I'd say so."

Mike shook his head. "You better hope she can get them out, or else she's going to hold you personally responsible. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"You think she can?"

"If anyone can, Alex can. But Sir…right now, I wouldn't be betting money on it." Mike said softly, watching his partner pace behind the armoured vehicles.

--

She held up the pistol and aimed it at Harm without even looking up. "I will shoot you."

The young lieutenants glared up at him and the injured solider adjusted himself on the ground. "I was in this building Ma'am. I'm not sure where the other two were held..."

Harm took a step forward. "I came to apologize."

Alex put her book down and rose to her full height. "Commander Rabb. You have put two seriously injured people at risk. You have put every one of my people at risk and you have put you and Commander Turner at risk. I don't need or WANT an apology." She turned her back and looked at the three young men, sitting in the shade of the vehicle. "I'm going to go for a walk with Commander Rabb. Just keep talking Jase. Russ, write down EVERYTHING. Helmer map it out." She put her pistol in the back of her pants and untucked her tshirt. "Let's walk Commander."

The blonde lieutenant Helm stood up. "Are you sure Ma'am?"

"I won't shoot him Lieutenant." She replied sarcastically, but under her breath she muttered. "Yet."

Harm followed her as she stomped out into the sun. Her eyes were steel, hard and cold. "I can't even FATHOM what was going through your mind Commander. After we pulled every string to get you here...you do THAT." Her hair was falling out of their restraints giving her the appearance of a mad scientist as they created a crown around the top of her head.

"I thought it was a trap." He said simply.

She stopped and tried to capture her misbehaving hair in a tight band. "It wasn't. And if it was, Katie and I can handle ourselves. We're trained in it, remember?"

"Thought you were a lawyer." He mumbled suddenly self-conscious under the steady gaze she held.

"I am. But I was trained by the Princess Patricias." She pushed her invisible sleeves as a force of habit and shook her head. "We're trained to be out here. Commander, I know you were a pilot. You were trained to drop bombs on people. I was trained to defuse stressful situations, not exacerbate them. It's why I'm not great at the whole 'we kill people' part of my job, hence me leaving soon. I don't want to, but I can't see any other option." She sighed. "You're going to be in SO much trouble when we get back."

"I know."

"No, I don't think you do. You obeyed a direct order." She picked up a large rock and threw it into the desert. "Just be glad I don't take another swing at you."

He rubbed his jaw. "You pack quite the punch. I'm glad you're not my size. I'd be flat on my six." He joked.

"You DESERVE to be Commander. But I'm not going to deal with this now. Admiral Chegwidden will have to. And my father, since he's the liaison officer. Quite frankly sir, I'm not sure what's going to happen, but you better pray that Admiral Chegwidden and my dad can pull a rabbit out of their hats. Or else you're fucked."

He was taken aback by her profanity, but caught himself. "Alex, I promise to stay out of the way."

"You better. Or I'll tie you up and use you as collateral." Her eyes became hidden behind the mirrored sunglasses again. "I have to get back."

His blue eyes watched her jog back to the shade. A feeling of dread washed over him as he walked back to Sturgis. "I know."

Sturgis shrugged and walked around the other side of the vehicle. "As long as you do man, 'cause I sure as hell don't."

--

"It's the only way I can see." Alex said leaning against the tire.

"Ma'am, with all due respect, it's suicide. I can't let you do that." Darren shook his head running his hands through his closely cropped blonde hair.

"Last time I checked you weren't running the mission Helmer." She crawled into the vehicle and remerged a few minutes with her rucksack. "I packed some headscarves just in case we were stuck in town…"

"Permission to speak freely ma'am?" Kris asked as he watched her rifle through her bag.

"Go ahead Russ."

"Are you sure you're the one that has to go? I mean…Helmer and I can go in. Or anyone else." His brown pleaded.

"Guys, I understand where you're coming from. I really do. But, I have to do it." She pulled out a green headscarf and gave them a small smile. "I appreciate it, but just promise me you'll do what we talked about."

"Yes ma'am." They both replied. Alex stood up and smoothed the scarf.

"How do I look?"

"Like you belong here. Except for the sunglasses of course." Darren said softly. She handed them to him.

"I'll be FINE, guys. Just focus on what we have to do." She gave a smile and walked out of the shade towards the others. "I'm going in alone, see if I can talk to them."

"Are you sure?" Sturgis asked looking the young woman up and down.

"I am Commander Turner. The lieutenants are going to be my backup. I will have my radio, but they have to trust me and I can't risk anything else." She glared at Harm when she said the last sentence. "I speak their language, I know their customs. It will work. I'm sure of it. Commander Rabb. You will stay here with Private Christopher. He is under direct orders to restrain you if you try anything else. Restrain or shoot you. It's his choice."

Harm looked over at the young private who looked barely old enough to drive a car. The boy nodded.

She took a long breath, like she was convincing herself everything would be all right. In a moment of strength she reached into her pocket and shoved a picture at Sturgis. "Keep this for me Commander. And…if anything happens…tell my family that I love them." Turning her back she motioned for the two young lieutenants to follow her.

Sturgis looked down at the picture that he held. His hands shook slightly as he watched the three disappear into the dust.

--

"This is the house Jassen said he was held at." Darren said checking the hand drawn map.

Alex nodded. "Okay. You two take post. I'm going to go in. From what I see, they have no guards…don't look like that. Remember, I still owe you beers from last season when the Wings won."

Darren gave her a sad smile. "Yeah. You do. Okay, we've got you Ma'am."

Alex took a deep breath and walked towards the house. Her voice echoed through the empty streets. The same man who she had spoken to stepped out, his rifle at the ready.

"What do you want? Shoot me again?"

Her hands lifted above her shoulders slowly, palms facing the man. "No, I came to speak to you and apologise for the actions that happened before. I know you were just trying to help us, but a colleague thought otherwise."

"I am not a murderer." The man said lowering his rifle.

"I know you are not." She softly touched the headscarf that was slipping off her head. "May we speak?"

"Yes. Come inside. Just you. No one else."

"It is just me, sir." Alex said softly taking a step forward.

"My name is Kamil." He said suddenly. "You may call me Kamil."

"Alexandra." She replied slowly following the man. "If you wish you may call me Alexandra."

The two lieutenants exchanged looks as they watched the officer slip into the small building.

--

"What about my family?" Kamil said watching the woman sip her tea carefully. "You get your family. What about mine?"

Alex swallowed and put the cup down. "We can get you to a refugee camp. Or you can work for us and we can offer your family security."

"American?"

Pointing to the Maple Leaf on her shoulder she shook her head. "No. Canadian. NATO forces. Kamil, those two people deserve to live. Just like your family. I promise you. If you help us, your family will be protected."

"How do I know you are not lying to me?"

Placing her hands overtop of the man's she looked into his eyes. "You can't for sure. But Kamil, we all deserve more."

--

She tried not to show she was upset. Expecting them to be injured she braced herself, but nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

"We tried to help." Kamil whispered.

Alex reached inside her jacket. "Get the medics in here NOW Russ." She said stiffly into the radio. "Now." Leaning over and brushing dirt off her brother's forehead she gave Kamil a small smile.

"I thank you for that, Kamil." She knelt beside the American officer and gently placed her hand on her forehead. "Has she been like this the whole time?" Her hand burned.

"Yes. They…save…my twins. I save them." Kamil said.

Alex chewed on her lower lip as she heard approaching footsteps.


	12. Chapter 12

She shoved the radio into the hands of one of the lieutenants, her hands shaking. "Get Commander Rabb and Turner over here." Her voice was listless, her face white. "Now."

Saliva filled her mouth as waves of nausea washed over her. The smell of rotting flesh filled her senses, causing her to stop and bend down in the dust. The heat of the room, the smell, the sound of breathing; breathing just to stay alive short gasps, burned into her memory. Darren watched as she retched into the sand.

"Ma'am?" He placed his hand on her shoulder and waited for her to look up at him. "Here's some water." Her blue eyes thanked him as she shakily stood up and rinsed her mouth. Waiting for her to be finished he looked over his shoulder. "Commander Rabb and Turner are on their way Ma'am."

Tearing her headscarf off and shoving it into the pocket on her BDU's she nodded. "Thanks Darren." She said deliberately using the lieutenant's first name.

He blushed and gave her a soft smile. "You're welcome Alex."

Heavy footsteps behind them announced the two Naval Commander's presences. With the back of her dirty and sweat covered hand Alex wiped her eyes and stood straight in front of the two senior officers.

"The medics are in there right now, as soon as we can go in, they'll notify us." She said blinking in the bright sunlight.

Sturgis looked at the young woman, her front carefully built. Until he saw her hands, twisting nervously trying to stop them from shaking.

"Are you okay Major?" He asked gently.

"Yes, sir." Her eyes examined the dirt on the ground before rising and meeting theirs. "Sirs, I...uh...should probably warn you. They...uh...don't look good." She watched as Harm's Adam's apple bounced as he swallowed. "Just, be prepared." Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. She went back to twisting her hands.

"This Major, belongs to you." Sturgis reached into his pocket and pulled out the picture that she had left with him earlier. She took it and gave him a grateful smile. The silence around them was deafening, each lost in their own thoughts.

Finally a medic appeared from the house and gave them an apologetic smile. "Sirs, Ma'am. I'm going to be blunt. They're alive. Barely. But both alive. We have to move."

"C-C-Can…I see them?" Harm said, his mouth suddenly dry.

"We're just loading them up sir. I'm not sure you want to see them like this…they're…not in great shape." The medic said softly, looking from face to face. "Ma'am?"

"Let him go." She said softly nodding towards the stretchers. "Just go Harm."

--

The stench of dirty bodies wafted through the air. He swallowed hard and stared at the stretchers. He had seen her after she had been shot. He had seen her after she had ejected from a Russian MIG. He had seen her after she fell off the wagon. But nothing prepared him for this.

Her face was dirt covered, an oxygen bag covering her nose and mouth, IV lines marring her perfect arms. He couldn't tell the extent of her injuries, but he knew it wasn't good. She looked like a china doll, broken and forgotten, face waxen, hair matted with blood, dirt and who knew what else. Gently he moved a piece of hair off her face. "God Mac..."

"You... Harm?" A scratchy voice whispered.

Turning around and seeing a young man on a stretcher, he nodded slightly. "Yeah."

"Good." His eyes closed and a slow stream of blood dripped from his bluish lips. A medic rushed to his side and ushered Harm away.

"Sorry sir, you have to leave."

--

Silence. It was the only thing they recognized, or trusted for that matter. It filled the vehicle like a bad cologne and stuck to them. Alex pressed her body into a corner, eyes hidden by her sunglasses. Harm sat in a stunned daze, watching the countryside. Sturgis tried to start a conversation and after receiving nothing more than a glare he settled too for the silence.

"Sturg...she was so..." Harm shook his head and wiped his eyes with dirty hands. "I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even tell her that I loved her."

Alex shifted in the darkness and banged her head against the wall. "How much LONGER Lieutenant?" Her voice was cold and angry.

"Not long Ma'am. We should be approaching the base right away." Darren replied looking over his shoulder at her. "You okay Ma'am?"

"Just peachy. Now drive the vehicle Helm before I do." She went back to her silence every once in a while knocking her head against the metal wall receiving a dull echoing thud for her troubles.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"No." She repeated the motion as if to show them that it didn't hurt.

The repeated thud escorted them into the base. Harm jumped off the vehicle and stared at the Major who unfolded herself from her corner.

"They're already in the medical shack. They said they would radio when they get out." She said without turning back.

--

"How are they, Doc?"

Doctor Keith Huage tore his blood stained rubber gloves off and shook his head. "We're out of blood."

"What blood types? I'm sure I can scrounge up a few willing to donate." Mike said giving the civilian doctor a smile.

"Christopher, he's O positive…and his sister is here, right?" When Mike nodded in agreement, he continued. "That should be easy enough, but Mackenzie, she's AB negative. Fat chance…" His face softened as he looked out at the glaring artificial lights, harshly illuminating the makeshift buildings in the desert. "But go ahead and ask. I have to have them stable before they can be moved…there's a helo coming in in about 2 hours. There's only so much plasma I can pump into them."

Mike nodded and took off running down the dirty makeshift street, leaving the doctor chewing on his pen, watching the Major.

--

"Blood type?"

Alex pulled her earphones out of ears and looked up at Mike who was leaning over her. "Pardon me?"

"I asked you what your blood type is."

"O positive."

"You on any medication?"

"You know I'm not Mike. What is this all about?" She crossed her legs under her and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I was talking to Doctor Huange. He needs blood for Sean and Colonel Mackenzie…do you know anyone with AB Negative blood?"

"No." She threw her jacket over her T-shirt and followed Mike out the door. "Have you spoken to Commander Rabb and Commander Turner?"

"Not yet. Do you know where they are?" He looked over at his partner who was pulling her hair back.

"Yeah. Just a few barracks over…meet you at medic shack?"

--

"Harm, she'll be okay." Sturgis said leaning on his elbow and looking at Harm. "You know that, right?"

"Commanders?" Mike's voice floated through the paper-thin chip wood walls. He poked his head through the tarp door. "Sorry for the interruption, but can I ask you two a question?"

"Sure Major. Go ahead." Sturgis answered for the both of them.

"What are your blood types? I was speaking to our doctor and they need some blood."

"B positive." Sturgis said sitting up on the bed.

"Commander Rabb?"

Harm rolled over, his eyes red and swollen. "AB negative." He croaked.

A grin crossed Mike's face. "Are you taking anything?"

"No…"

"I won't go through the whole 'have sex with another man' thing, you being Navy and all." Mike nodded towards the door. "Commander Rabb…we need you."

--

Alex rolled her sleeve up and looked at the doctor. "Go ahead. I'm clean, you can scrounge up my medical records if you don't believe me."

"I trust you Major. Now are you right handed or left handed?" He knelt in front of her and examined her arms.

"Right handed, but I have crooked veins in my left arm." She shrugged and rolled the left sleeve down. "I donate a lot."

Harm sat down beside her and gave her a sideways glance. His face immediately paled. "I'm here to…donate. I…have AB negative blood."

"Just a second Commander, I'll be right there. Now you know the drill Alex, though I'm going to take two units instead of the usual one, so you may take a bit longer to recover."

"Go ahead Dr. Dracula." She winked at the Asian doctor and gave him a thumbs up sign. He moved over to Harm who was staring at the blood flow from Alex into the plastic bag.

"Commander Rabb…which arm would you like?"

Trying to lick his lips he thrust his left arm out. "Uh. Left." He felt heat rise from inside his collar and closed his eyes. "I…just can't see blood."

"We get it all the time." Dr. Huange smiled and waited until the blood was flowing. "Okay Commander, I'll cover your arm so you don't have to watch."

Harm looked over at Alex who was clenching and unclenching her fist. His stomach flipped as he watched the blood fill the plastic bag.

--

"Can I see her?" Harm asked, finishing the glass of juice he had in his hand.

"For a second." Dr. Haunge opened the curtain and pointed to the bed. "They're going to be moved as soon as they're stable. You can sit down on the chair, but please, stay out of the way."

Nodding, Harm pushed the chair close to her bed and gently grabbed her hand, the only thing that wasn't covered in tubes, or tape. "Is she going to be okay, Doctor?" He knew he sounded pitiful.

"You can call me Keith, and she's the better off of the two." He checked her monitors and smiled. "I have a feeling she'll be okay."

"Master Corporal Christopher?"

Keith shrugged. "He's fighting a massive infection and has internal bleeding. We don't have the facilities here to do any of the surgery so we're just hoping to stabilize him to move him. From what I hear, he was a hero out there. Saved your friend here."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Corporal Kane gave his account. They each grabbed a kid, your friend fell and pushed the child out of the way. Master Corporal Christopher saw her trip and dove back to cover her. Took a bullet in the neck, just missing his jugular."

Harm paled again, thinking of a kid, only 22, risking his life to save Mac. "I didn't…know."

"Yeah. They're trying to keep it quiet right now. But I'm a civvie so I don't have to follow the same rules. I hope he pulls through."

"What are his chances?"

Keith wiped his hands on his pants. "If we get him moved quickly? Guessing around 60%. Anything later…" His voice trailed off. "I just wish they would have been able to get them out sooner. I hear that a family tried to help them, but…they just didn't have the supplies."

He didn't hear Alex step into the room. "Keith, they need you in the next room." She said shoving her hands in her pockets. "Private Christopher is O too. They said something about Sean…bleeding out."

"Thanks Alex." He walked through the curtain, calling for the nurses as he went.

She stared at Harm as he gently ran his fingers over the back of Mac's hand. "I hear your brother saved her."

"Guess so."

"Tell him thanks."

Alex shrugged. "Probably won't get the chance." She spit out bitterly. "Thanks to you, but, I guess that doesn't matter since your friend is going to make it." Her blue eyes flashed as she stormed out.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N – Sorry everyone, I was having a very tough time with this chapter for some reason. It was Remembrance Day here on Tuesday, my family was in town and we were making arrangements for when my brother gets back. I hope the next chapter goes fast._

_This one doesn't deal with Harm/Mac, but the next one will. Promise._

_T-G_

"Alex, give the guy a break." Mike said shoving a roll into his mouth. "I'm PRETTY sure he didn't do what he did just to piss you off."

Alex glared at him and moved the food on her plate around.

"Jesus Christ Alex, you're a lawyer, and a damn good one. Stop going on your emotions. Have you thought that perhaps he was thinking of the best for you, Colonel Mackenzie AND Sean? I know it pissed you off that he didn't listen to your orders, but Alex, you know as well as I do. You look 18. On a good day. I'm sure he's having enough of a problem sitting back and letting us take control, let alone someone who looks like you..." He watched his partner and best friend roll her eyes and get up to leave. "That's right Alex, leave. When you don't hear what you want to hear, you leave. Run away. That's your prerogative isn't it? Damn it Alex, take responsibility for once in your life. Yes, it was Commander Rabb's fault, but you don't have to crucify the guy over it."

She spun around her jaw set and tight with emotion. Mike braced himself for the explosion that he knew would come. Instead she shook her head and muttered "You're not worth it Mike."

Standing up and stopping in front of her he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Where are you going to go Alex? There's no rink for you to hide in here. Your Daddy can't stand up for you either." He knew he was just pushing her buttons, trying to get her to react. "Take responsibility and apologize, I know it's a foreign concept for you." He stepped aside as his now furious partner brushed past him.

"What was that all about, Sir?" Darren asked watching Alex storm out of the building.

"Nothing Lieutenant." Darren raised an eyebrow and turned to follow Alex out of the building. Mike put his hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you should let her go."

--

"Where's Major Gianinni?"

Mike shrugged. "Don't know. Why?"

"I wanted to speak with her." Harm said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Anyone know where she is?"

"Her cronies probably do. They're probably playing poker in their barracks." He blushed and shoved his hands deep in his pockets. "She's probably not in the best mood right now sir. We had a bit of a fight."

"So I heard. Thanks Mike." He walked towards the barrack Mike had pointed out. The sound of laughter and English and French profanity floated through the thin walls. He knocked on the door and stuck his head in. Four young men jumped at attention.

"As you were." Harm pointed to the two young lieutenants that were on the mission with them. "I need to speak to you two."

The dark haired and blonde lieutenant exchanged worried glances before pocketing their cards and nodding towards their friends. "Be right back. This way you can't cheat." The shorter of the two said waving the back of his cards at them.

"Do you know where Major Gianinni is?" Harm asked when the exited the building.

"Yes." The blond Lieutenant said giving Harm a sideways glance.

"And she is?"

"We're not supposed to tell you." The dark haired Lieutenant replied crossing his arms across his chest.

"I just want to talk to her. Do I need to order you?"

They exchanged worried glances before the blonde one, who looked all of 12 years old sighed. "Fine. She's at the chapel. Just don't tell her I told you."

Harm smiled. "I won't. Thanks…"

"Helm. It's a few buildings down from the mess hall." The blonde lieutenant said jerking his head towards where he wanted Harm to go. "I heard about what happened sir. Alex, she really isn't a bad person…just…a bit of a hothead. She thinks with her heart before her brain. And to quote even her, the filter between her mouth and her brain is broken."

"It's okay, I understand." He flashed his famous grin and started to trot towards the chapel.

--

She was easy to spot. He had a feeling she tended to be like that naturally and had no intention of changing. Her demeanor was positively unmilitary. Shirt untucked, jacket left open, boots unlaced and her knees pulled up to her chest. She looked like the young woman he knew she was.

"Major?"

Without turning around she placed her chin on her knees. "Commander. Do I need to ask who told you I was here?"

"Probably not." He walked towards her and stood beside the pew. "May I sit down?"

"Sure." She closed her eyes and listened to the ever present bombing in the background. "I'm sorry Commander…" She started.

"Don't bother, Major."

"Commander, apologizing isn't exactly my strong suit, so please let me get it out." She turned and rested her chin on her shoulder. "I'm sorry that I blamed you for everything that happened out there. I know you weren't doing anything to jeopardize anyone's life or the mission." She gave him a small smile.

"It's water under the bridge, Major."

"Except for when the superiors hear about it." She replied softly, bringing her legs down.

He returned her smile. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Alex slipped her feet into her boots and sat silently. "Colonel Mackenzie and Master Corporal are going to be moved tonight to Camp Panzer Kazerne. We should be able to leave sometime tomorrow." Lacing her boots she stood up and faced the weatherbeaten cross that was at the front of the chapel. "Kind of reminds me of our situation right now." She continued when she spotted Harm's raised eyebrow. "Beaten, bruised, but yet, still standing. Still standing and showing the way. Would you like to come and say goodbye before they leave?"

"I'd like that, Major." His grin flashed across his face.

"Alex. Please." She stuck her hand out. "Can we start over? I promise not to be a complete pain in the ass."

His large hand grabbed her smaller one. "Nice to meet you Alex, I'm Harm."

--

Sturgis clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder. He could feel the nervous energy coming from Harm as they watched Mac slowly get loaded onto helo. Dr. Huange nodded at the two Naval officers as he transferred the bag he was holding to a coworker.

"How is she, Doctor?"

Keith wiped his hands on his pants. "They're better. Not out of the woods by any means, but better." He noticed Harm's worried look and gave the taller man a reassuring smile. "Commander, they're going to the best medical facility."

"Thanks for everything you've done Doctor." Harm shook the man's hand.

"Thank you Commander for what you do for your country." He gave the two Commanders a salute and jogged back to the helo. Alex walked up beside them and watched as the helo started to rise above the ground.

--

"Harm. STOP IT." Sturgis said, as he closed the book he was reading. Harm looked up sheepishly and stopped tapping his foot.

"Sorry."

He looked around the small plane and sighed. "How much longer?"

"No one Mac knows what time it is...seriously buddy. Calm down." Sturgis shook his head. "We should be landing in about an hour."

"Oh." He squinted into the darkness and tried to make out anything recognizable.

Sturgis sighed. "Do you want to talk about it, Harm?"

"Men don't talk about what they're feeling. 'Specially not a fighter jock and a bubblehead." Harm gave Sturgis a wry smile. "Plus, it doesn't matter. I know she doesn't feel the same way."

"And you're supposed to be a legal genius…but Harm, seriously, sometimes you're the dumbest person alive."

"What do you mean?"

"Harm. Have you looked at the way Mac looks at you?"

He shrugged. "It'll never work."

"Have you ever tried? Have either of you two put aside your prides and done something about your feelings?"

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." Sturgis said simply. He unfolded himself from the seat and shook his head. "Major Stuart asked to play cards." He explained.

Harm nodded and went back to looking out the window. He felt a set on eyes on him and finally looked up. Alex looked at the empty seat and gave him a soft smile. "Taken?"

"No. What's on your mind Major?"

"I overheard your conversation with Commander Turner. Sir, I understand that you were a fighter pilot."

He stared at her blankly until she continued.

"I know that as a fighter pilot, taking risks will get you killed. But sometimes, not taking risks will do more damage." She leaned across and stared into the darkness. "We should be landing pretty soon." Her blue eyes softened as she smiled at Harm and went back to her own seat.


	14. Chapter 14

The antiseptic smell assaulted his senses, almost making him dizzy. The white halls, the pistachio green chairs…they all brought back memories. Memories that should be forgotten. His ramp strike. Ejecting over the Atlantic. But this time it was different. He wasn't here for him, he was here for her.

"Colonel Mackenzie?" He spat out to a heavy set, blonde nurse.

She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "Surgery." She retorted in thickly accented English. "So is other man. Corporal Christopher. Go sit. Doctors will come."

"Can you tell me anything?"

"Sit. Down." She pointed a chubby finger to the pistachio coloured chairs and glared. "Doctor will come."

He retreated, folding his large frame into one of the small ugly chairs. Sturgis and Mike played a game of cards, both leaning forward until their backs protested. Alex stretched out on the cold floor, her legs out like a dancer warming up for a production, a notebook and a text spread in front of her. They sat in relative silence, an occasional soft slap of cards or a scribble and brush of a hand across paper, but none dared to speak.

When Harm opened his eyes, he was staring into the steely gaze of his CO. Automatically he jumped to his feet.

"Sir. I…uh…didn't hear you."

AJ nodded. "I noticed. Any news Commander?"

"No sir." Harm looked over his shoulder at Sturgis gave a shrug and mouthed "I tried." "I got told to sit and wait." He jerked his thumb at the glowering nurse. "Even I'm not dumb enough to mess with her."

A chuckle escaped the ex-SEAL's lips. "Neither would I, Rabb."

"I second that." Thom replied, stepping next to AJ. Both older men looked tired and worn, their faces bearing lines and scars from previous wars and struggles. "Nice to see you again Commander."

"You too. Wish it was under better circumstances." Harm shook the man's hand again. "Alex is…" He looked at her abandoned books. "Gone."

"She's looking for coffee." Sturgis said, joining the conversation. "Something about being tempted to eat coffee grounds, if I remember correctly."

Thom's deep laugh filled the small waiting room. "Yes, she is my daughter after all. My wife and son in law ran into Alex and Mike downstairs." His face darkened. "I hear you got into a bit of an argument with her in the field."

"I wouldn't exactly call it that." Harm avoided their eyes. The silence filled the room once again before a large man with a close cropped haircut wearing green scrubs and an exhausted smile walked by.

"Ich bin Doktor Griffenhaugen." He extended his hand to the four men. "Die chirurgie ging gut. Oberst Mackenzie ist in der Wiederaufnahme."

Four blank stares met him. Thom shook his head. "No one speaks German?"

"No." Sturgis shrugged. "Alex?"

"Iherafminam!" She mumbled carrying four coffees in her arms and a bagel in her mouth. Harm passed out the coffees with Alex removed the bagel.

"Sorry, I heard my name?"

"Yeah. Do you speak German?" Sturgis pointed to the doctor who was still apparently trying to make them understand.

"No." She shook her head. "One of the few languages I never really got a hang of. But…my husband does. He's just downstairs grabbing something to drink."

"Really?" Harm almost jumped out of his dirty BDUs, his face full of hope. He looked around, searching.

"He'll be RIGHT up." Alex said taking a sip of her coffee. "Ugh, this stuff is WEAK." Wrinkling her nose she frowned. "Think that on a German military base you'd be able to get something that resembles coffee." She turned her head and smiled. "Here he comes Commander."

A young man with a head of tight dark curls carrying a child and talking to a tall blonde woman came into view. Harm looked at Alex with a pleading look.

"Hey, Cody. Commere for a sec." She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the group. "This doctor doesn't speak English. Translate please?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Doktor vorangehen bitte ehen. Ich übersetze." He listened as the doctor started to speak in deep guttural tones. "He says that the surgery went well and Colonel Mackenzie is in recovery. The man, Sean, he's still in surgery, but he thinks that they will both recover."

"What is wrong?" Harm asked, nodding at Cody to translate.

"Was ist falsch?" Cody nodded a few times, watching the doctor draw in the air with his cubby finger. "Colonel Mackenzie took a bullet in the shoulder, through and through. It avoided all major arteries, but it broke her collar bone and tore up her rotator cuff. She also has an infection, but they put her on antibiotics. There is slight swelling in the brain, probably from being hit in the head, but they expect her to make a full recovery. Über den Mann Doktor?" He waited again as the doctor spoke quickly. "Sean, he got some flack in the…stomach area that is severely infected. They had to remove his…uh…spleen I think and part of his large intestine. He screwed his knee up pretty badly. Though they are most concerned about the bullet in his neck. It nicked his larynx and they have him on a trachea right now. Danke. Welcher Raum ist Oberst Mackenzie innen, Doktor?" He nodded. "Colonel Mackenzie is in room 203." A smile crossed his face. "And as long as we don't get in the doctor's way, we can go see her."

Harm shook Cody's hand. "Thanks so much." He looked at his CO who nodded.

"Go Harm. We'll be there in a few minutes." AJ smiled as he watched the younger officer sprint down the hall. "Thanks for your help Mr. Gianinni."

Cody shrugged. "No problem, Mister Admiral Sir." He knelt down and picked up his son. "It's the least I can do."

"It's AJ."

"Cody." He shook the older man's hand. "It's nice to meet you AJ."

--

He stood in the doorway, listening to the soft beep of a machine. She was so small, so frail. Helpless.

"God marine." He whispered inching closer to her bed. Dark bruises marred her face, navy blue stitches above her eyebrow. Gently he rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand. "I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. Sorry that it happened before I ever got a chance to tell you. Tell you that I love you." He choked out the last part, wiping away the tears with his free hand. "I love you with all my heart."

It could have been five minutes, it could have been an hour before he heard footsteps enter the room.

"Harm?"

He looked up at Sturgis and the Admiral who were standing in the doorway. "Oh, Sir." Jumping halfway to his feet before he noticed the Admiral's wave of his hand. "Come in. I'm just going to go grab another coffee."

"You don't have to leave, Harm." Sturgis said softly.

"I need to…get some…air and some coffee." Harm let got of Mac's hand and placed it on the bed, giving a last look to Mac. Weaving his way through the hallways he found himself hunched over a cup of weak coffee and a flax seed and wheat germ muffin.

A sticky hand on his BDU pants brought him into reality. Big blue eyes peered up at him and chubby little hands reached up.

"Hey there buddy, where did you come from?" He lifted the boy up and placed him on the table across from him. "So little man, what's going on?" The boy stared at him, his eyes framed by curtains of thick dark lashes.

"I'm so sorry sir. I turned my back to get a coffee and he squirted away."

Harm looked up to see Alex's husband standing looking sheepishly at him.

"It's okay. We were just chatting." He gave the young man a tired smile. "Where is everyone else?"

"Visiting Sean. I figured we'd give them some family time." He hovered uncomfortably over the table. "I'm sorry that Dante was bothering you. We'll…just get out of your way."

"You don't have to." Harm said softly. "It's…kind of nice to have someone to chat to…that doesn't judge you." He tickled the little boy who squirmed and gave him a gummy grin.

Cody took a swallow of his coffee and smiled. "Kids have a way of making all your worries disappear." He laughed as a little hand grabbed Harm's dog tags. "I don't think we were properly introduced. I'm Cody Gianinni, and that, is Dante."

"Commander Harmon Rabb." Harm unhooked his dogtags and let Dante jingle them around.

"Nice to meet you. You are here for your wife?" His round face was eager, his hands nervously playing with his cardboard coffee cup.

"She's not my wife. She's my…friend." Harm replied softly.

Cody laughed. "Ah, a friend. I'm sorry Commander, but you don't look like you're here just for a friend." He loosened his son's grip on Harm's dogtags and handed them back to him. "I know it's none of my business, but if you want to talk, I think I've been in the same situation as you. Alex used to be 'just a friend.' A friend that I dreamt about every night. A friend that I wished would look at me the same way I looked at her. A friend that I put everything at risk for." He gave a sad smile. "I almost lost her you know. I'm not military, not even Canadian. We met when we were 16, at a hockey tournament, and I fell in love with her right then and there. We stayed in touch for the next couple of years, and then we went our separate ways to school. Then, I ran into her when she was at Harvard and I was at Boston University. She was engaged to another man. And do you know what she told me?"

Harm shook his head, gripping the dogtags tightly.

"I wish you would have stayed in touch. Things would be different." He gave a short laugh. "I almost lost it, right then and there."

"Well, you two are married now…"

"Yeah. We went out for supper and to a Bruins game and stayed up all night talking." He pulled a picture out of his wallet and passed it to Harm. It showed Alex, younger, hair shorter and blonder and bearing a few unmilitary facial piercings laughing at the camera. "She broke off the wedding three days later." He got a far off look in his eyes before turning back to Harm. "Do you believe in fate?"

Swallowing hard, Harm nodded. "Yeah, but I think sometimes fate doesn't believe in me."

Cody took another sip of his coffee. "I do. I wasn't going to go to Boston for school, but something told me to. I know that it's a bit tougher for you guys, being military and all, but maybe…something good will come out of this."

"Like what?"

"Not sure. I'm not military." He flashed a grin that rivalled Harm's.

"Where do you work, if you don't mind me asking?" Harm brushed off the crumbs off his pants.

"In DC." He stood up and grabbed his squirmy son. "I should get his bottle and change him, but Harm, just remember that sometimes when it seems darkest, in our time of despair, God lights a light and shows us the way."

--

AJ loosed the top button of his shirt and sat on the plastic chairs. Thom sat across from him and sighed.

"How is he, Thom?"

"Been better." Thom shrugged. "But he'll survive. Marilyn is in with him right now."

"Why did she go after you, Thom? Weren't you the one who could drink two beers before they could say your name?" AJ smiled.

"I ask myself that all the time AJ." He rubbed a hand over his head. "So, what happens now with Commander Rabb? My superiors are going to have a conniption over it. An American officer disobeying orders from a younger Canadian officer. The American officer who wasn't even supposed to be in Afghanistan?"

"I understand Thom."

A soft clearing of the throat brought the men out of their private conversation. "Sirs. I was wondering if I could say something?" Alex put her hands behind her back.

"Go ahead Major." AJ replied, cocking his head towards Thom who nodded.

"Sirs, I realise that what Commander Rabb did was a blatant case of disobeying direct orders, but we must also understand the reason why. It wasn't to mess up the mission. It wasn't to get his own way. He truly believed that we were in trouble and he reacted the way the Navy trained him as an officer. He took his initiative and his courage and did what he thought was best. And I don't think we should punish him on the results, but perhaps we should commend him for his actions as an officer and a human being." She pushed a curl out of her face and bit her bottom lip.

AJ smiled and rolled his eyes. "Alex, you make one heck of a case."

"Thank you sir. Dad, I don't think that Commander Rabb should face any discipline. Like I said, he didn't do it for personal glory, he did it to save us, from what he thought was a dangerous and volatile situation."

Thom and AJ exchanged glances. "Is that what you think, Alex?" Thom asked.

She nodded. "Yes."

"Thank you Major, you're dismissed." AJ nodded to the young Major and she made a sharp heel turn. Waiting until she was out of earshot he turned back to Thom. "So I guess that's what you're running with."

"Guess so. She does make a strong case."

"She does. She's one heck of a lawyer Thom. You should be proud of her."

"She is. And I am." Thom wiped his face with his hand. "So, what is going to happen with Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come off it AJ, you know exactly what I mean. They can't stay in the same chain of command." Thom cocked an eyebrow.

"They've been like this for 8 years now." AJ said shaking his head. "They're both pig headed, stubborn to a fault."

"How haven't they…spontaneously combusted yet?"

"God only knows." AJ leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes.

--


	15. Chapter 15

"I'm staying." Harm threw himself down on the chair beside Mac's bed in some sort of silent protest, glaring at everyone in the room, daring them to challenge him.

"Come on buddy, at least come back to the hotel to shower and change." Sturgis said softly. "We've been in these BDU's for three days now."

"Don't have any other clothes." Harm replied stubbornly. He looked at Sturgis and scowled. He hated it when Sturgis was right, but he probably smelled like a camel, or worse. A plastic bag hit him in the chest.

"There's some new underwear, some sweat pants and tshirts in there." Cody said with a smile. "Alex got a hold of me before we came to the airport and I picked you guys up some stuff. And tomorrow Harm, if you don't want to leave, I can bring a pair of my jeans and some shirts over when the other ones go shopping."

Harm gave him a thankful smile.

"The hotel is just a block down from here. You can make it quick..."

"What happens if Mac wakes up?" He crossed his arms across his chest and looked up at the people surrounding him. "I won't let her wake up alone."

"I'll stay with her." A soft voice from the back of the room said. A woman, taller than Alex, pushed through. "I'm Marilyn Christopher. The jet lag is getting to me, so I won't be getting any sleep anytime soon anyway." She nodded to the crowd in the room. "May I please have a word with the Commander?"

Thom and AJ exchanged looks before ushering the rest out of the room. Marilyn sat down across from Harm, staring at the young man the way only a mother could. "Harm…may I call you Harm?"

He nodded.

With a smile she continued. "Harm, I understand what you're going through, but you're no use to her if you're like this. You've been through a lot too. You need to take care of yourself. Go, take a shower, change and get something to eat. Take a walk, get your thoughts together. When she wakes up, she needs to see you. Not just the shell of what you are."

Harm swallowed hard and stared at the older woman who leaned forward and grabbed his clammy hand. "I'll be here with her and I'll make sure to give you a call if she wakes up. Promise."

There was something about the way she smiled, her firm but soft grip, the caring in her eyes that he believed.

"Thanks Mrs. Christopher." He said softly.

"Marilyn. And you're more than welcome. Now go." She shooed him out of the room with a smile. Pulling a book out of her purse she smiled to herself and began reading.

--

The hot water beat against his body, three days of dirt, dust, blood, grime and memories swirling down the drain. He washed the soap off his body and shampoo out of his hair as quick as possible. The steam swirled around his body as he stepped out of the shower. With a rough, bleach smelling towel he dried himself and slipped into the warm cotton pants and tshirt.

"Thanks again for picking these up Cody." Harm said, opening the bathroom door and stepping out.

Cody was stretched out on the bed, Dante lying beside him, sucking on a pacifier. "No problem. Lexi called and told me to pick some stuff up for you and Commander Turner." He grinned and ran his hands over his face. "Though I think I crossed too many time zones today. Starting to zone out."

Harm laughed for the first time in what felt like weeks. "I understand man. You call Alex…Lexi? She doesn't seem like a Lexi to me…"

It was Cody's turn to laugh. "Yeah, think I'm the only one that is allowed to call her that." He rubbed his son's hair. "Anything you want or need, just ask."

"You've done a lot already."

"Like I said, no problem. Do you want to grab some clothes now so you don't have to come back to the hotel tomorrow?" He rolled over and rifled through his suitcase. "These should fit you." He tossed a pair of jeans along with a baby blue polo shirt and a grey zip up sweater.

"Thanks."

Cody picked up his son and placed him on his chest. "No problem. Now go to the hospital. And if you see my wife buzzing around, send her back will ya? This little guy is missing his mommy."

As if on cue, Dante looked up at Harm and started babbling. "Mum mum mum mum mum."

"Got it." He brushed the boy's curly locks out of his eyes and turned to head back to the hospital.

--

Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was moving silently. Harm cleared his throat, crossing his arms self-consciously over his chest.

Marilyn opened her eyes and smiled. "Hi Harm. I'll get out of your way. The doctor should be in here any minute." She started to rise.

"You can stay." Harm said softly. "What were you doing, just now?"

It was Marilyn's turn to look self-conscious. "Praying. Praying for her, praying for my son. Praying for everyone still left in Afghanistan." Her blue eyes bore into his. Harm opened his mouth a few times, accomplishing nothing more than looking like a fish out of water.

"Could…you pray with me?" He asked finally, his voice barely above a whisper, sitting down in the chair beside her.

"Of course." Marilyn gave him a soft smile. She took his large hands in hers and gripped them tightly. "Dear Lord, thank you for everything you have given us in the world. We sit here in prayer for your children Sean and Sarah. They are fighting, they are fighting for their lives and for the lives of your people around the world. Please Lord, look out for them and return them in good health to the friends and family that await them. On your name we pray. Amen."

He opened his eyes and smiled. "Thanks."

"She must be important to you, I know how hard it is to get your type to ask for help." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "If you need anything else, just ask."

"I will. Thanks again...Marilyn." He heard the door open behind them and turned around. Alex stood in the doorway, still wearing her dirty BDU's. "Hey. Cody told me to tell you to come back when you have time."

She nodded. "Thanks. I just wanted to tell you Mom that the doctor is in Sean's room, if you're not going to sleep you may want to chat with him." Alex ran her hands through her knotty hair. "I'm going to head back to the hotel and clean up."

"Okay Alex. Go take a hot bath and spend some time with your family." Marilyn stood up and gave Harm's shoulder a quick squeeze.

"I will Mom." Alex gave her Mom a small kiss on the cheek before turning and heading out of the room. Marilyn quickly followed suit.

--

He slept fitfully on the chair that was too small for his large frame. Sometime during the night Marilyn had stuck her head in and covered his body with a confiscated hospital blanket.

Dreams plagued him. Dreams of him and Mac. Dreams of their wedding day. Dreams of their honeymoon. Dreams of their house. Dreams of their family, a little girl with blue eyes and a little boy with huge brown ones. They all plagued him. He jerked awake at the sound of some soft rustling. A young nurse gave him a smile.

"It okay." She said in thickly accented English. "She wake up soon. Doctor come. He talk to you."

"Thanks." Harm replied hoarsely, stretching his tight muscles. He ran his hands over his rumpled shirt. "What time is it?"

"8 o'clock."

"Thanks." The bright florescent lights buzzed loudly overhead. He blinked rapidly, rubbing the sand out of his eyes.

"Awake already Harm?" Marilyn's sing song voice floated through the door.

"Yeah."

She stood in the doorway, her short curly hair still damp from a shower. "If you want to head back to the hotel to shower, you can. I'll stay with her. Thom and Alex are with Sean. He's finally woken up."

"Really? That's great? How is he?"

"To be expected." She shrugged and wiped a tear away. Harm gave the older woman a soft hug. "Thanks. Right now Thom is busy dealing with the fallout of everything and Alex is busy with Cody and Dante. So, I guess it's just me."

"And you're busy helping me." Harm released the woman and gave her a smile. "How about I change into these clothes and we go for a coffee?"

"Sure. I'll just say hi to your Sarah while you change." She took his spot at her side and brushed a lock of dark hair out of her face. Mac stirred slightly, but didn't wake. "That's right sweetheart. There's a tall dark handsome man waiting for you to wake up."

Harm smiled and silently slipped out of the room to change.

--

"So you really met in a rose garden?" Marilyn took a sip of her coffee and smiled at the younger man in front of her. She took a shine to the Naval Commander and enjoyed his company.

"We did. Eight years ago."

"And it took you two this long to fall in love?"

Harm shook his head. "No, just this long to admit it…" A loud squeal interrupted their conversation. Alex turned the corner with a screaming tot on her shoulder.

"Come on buddy, I know you're hungry and wet." She rolled her eyes towards her mother who laughed. "If you're lucky buddy, you can go visit Grammy." She shot her mother a look, which made Marilyn laugh even harder. Harm watched the site and started laughing as well.

"Wha…so…funny…"

Harm turned and stared at the bed. A pair of doe brown eyes stared back at him.

"MAC!" He stood up so quickly he sent his chair flying across the room. "Oh my God, Mac. Mac…how are you feeling? Mac…oh my God, I'm going to call a nurse." He started repeating himself, his eyes wide.

"Harm, you sit with her and talk to her. I'LL go get a nurse." Marilyn said softly, pushing him into a chair. "Talk."

Grabbing her hand he swallowed back his tears. "Mac…how are you feeling?"

"Sore." She whispered.

"I bet. Mac, I have to tell you something." He closed his eyes and laid his forehead on the cold metal of the railing, trying to gather his wits and catch his breath at the same time. "I love you."

The silence hung in the room like a thick stifling blanket. Her lips opened slightly, tongue peeking out trying to wet her cracked lips. "I love you too Harm." She whispered.

Marilyn stood outside the door watching their exchange and stuck her arm out when the behemoth nurse, so aptly named Bertha, came around the corner.

"Give them a minute."

"No. Must check."

"Give them a minute." Marilyn repeated, glaring at the larger nurse.

--

Tears rolled down his cheeks, his head in his hands. Sturgis and AJ exchanged worried glances as they approached Harm.

"Shit Harm. What happened?" Sturgis sat down on one side of their friend as AJ sat on the other.

"She…She…" He brought his head up to look at his friends, his eyes red and swollen from crying.

"Oh God Harm. I…I'm sorry…" Sturgis put an arm around his shoulder.

"She loves me." A small smile crossed his lips. "She loves me. And she told me so."


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N – I will be on a month long sabbatical starting December 4__th__, so I am not going to be IGNORING the story, but will be taking a break. Technically it is a vacation, reality it is stress break. I will hopefully have one more chapter done before I leave._

AJ chewed on the bagel he had in his hand and shook his head. Part of him had been dreading this moment from the time the two officers met. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have to eventually send one of his best lawyers into a different chain of command. There were options he knew. Judiciary, Capitol Hill, heck one of them could work for Congresswoman Lathem, but he knew deep down that both of them would want to stay litigaters.

"What's wrong AJ?" Thom sat down across from the Ex-Seal and took a sip of his tea. His wife had cut him off of caffeinated beverages, and as stubborn as he was, he was not going to start a war over it.

"I'm eventually going to have to move either Harm or Mac." He said slowly. "But both of them will want to stay litigating, so I'm not sure what to do. And then it leaves me without a senior attorney. And I really don't feel like ambulance chasing for one."

Thom nodded and stirred his coffee. "Well AJ, I can make you an offer." The two men spoke rapidly before a grin crossed each of their faces.

"I like it, but it still doesn't fix my problem of being down a lawyer." AJ replied tearing off another piece of his bagel.

"I have an offer for that as well."

--

"I just really want to go home." Mac said softly. Harm hadn't left her beside since she had woken up.

"I know. They want to keep you one more night for evaluations." He gently pushed her hair out of her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess." She looked at her arm that was wrapped. Her headache was dissipating as time went on, and her arm didn't feel as bad as she had expected. "Have you heard how Sean is?"

"I slipped in. He looks…okay." Harm said tenderly. In all reality Sean looked a lot worse than Mac did, but then again he was in worse shape than she was. "They said that he's stable enough to be moved."

"That's great." She replied. "I want to see him."

"I'm not sure if that's possible."

Her lower lip stuck out and she looked up at Harm through her thick lashes. "Come on Harm, please? At least ask the nurse."

He stared at her for a second before relenting. "Okay, fine, I'll ask." Stopping the first nurse that walked past that wasn't Bertha. In a halting combination of broken English and German he made his intent known. Sticking her head in the room the nurse examined her patient.

"Wheelchair."

"Agree." Entering the room armed with the chair and a small army of German nurses, they moved a very happy Mac into the wheelchair.

"Ready to go, Madame?" Harm asked, leaning over the back of the wheelchair and adjusted the blanket that was wrapped around her shoulders.

"Take me away, sir." Mac's smile lit up the room and Harm's heart. They made the slow trek down the hall. "You're sure he's okay?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure he's been better." Trying to find the words and the courage to help Mac brace herself for what they were going to see. "Mac, just be prepared…he's…not doing as well as you are."

"How bad is bad?"

"Not bad enough to stop fighting the nurses to come and see you." Marilyn said coming out of the room. "He keeps asking to go see Colonel Mackenzie, and I assume that is you." She raised her eyebrows and gave Harm a small smile. "I'm Marilyn Christopher, Sean's Mom."

Mac extended her good arm and gave the older woman a shy smile. "I'm Sarah Mackenzie. It's really nice to meet you Ma'am. Your sun is an amazing person."

"Please, it's Marilyn. And thank you very much, though I must say Colonel Mackenzie that it is people like yourself and Commander Rabb that have helped make him the man he is today."

The hot tears burnt as they welled up in the corners of Mac's eyes. Marilyn knelt down and faced the injured Marine. "Don't cry dear. You're much to pretty to be crying." A crash from inside the room made the older woman roll her eyes. "You'd better get in there before my son tears the room apart." She gently wiped the tears from Mac's cheeks. "Now go."

Harm mouthed a silent thanks to Marilyn, who just shook her head and held the door open for the pair.

Sean looked up and grinned when he saw Mac come in. He struggled to sit up suppressing a groan as he felt his stitches pull slightly.

"Jesus Sean, just lie down." Mac chastised the boy. He made a face before lying back against the bed that was too small to hold his frame.

"Yes Ma'am." A mischievous grin flashed across his face. "Sir."

Harm gave the boy a sharp nod. "I'll leave you two to talk." He said placing a kiss on the top of Mac's head.

--

"Whoa there speed demon." Harm stuck his leg out to stop the toddling boy from getting past him. Dante stared at him before dropping to the ground and crawling under the long leg. "Where are your parents, little buddy?" He grabbed the toddler and propped him up on his knee.

"I'm right here." Alex turned the corner, weighed down by a larger diaper bag. "We got stopped in the hall, and he sped away. Thanks for grabbing him." She threw herself down beside Harm.

"Anytime." He tickled the young boy, getting a squeal and a smile.

"Don't say that." Alex replied with an exhausted grin. "Now that we're in DC, you may just find a little bundle on your front step."

"I don't have a front step." Harm replied with a smile. "So why DC?"

"Cody. He's working here and I can't deal with another year of splitting childcare and everything. It was impossible for him to go anywhere else, so I reserved my commission and we packed up and moved." She pushed a curl out of her face.

"So you gave up your career?"

Alex shrugged. "I put my career on hold. I can practice law anywhere, anytime. I passed the bar in Canada and passed the bar in Virginia, DC and Massachusetts, I can start my own practice, or join a firm. Sometimes there are more important things in life than work. The way I figure, when I die, the military isn't going to put up a tombstone that says 'Was available 24/7.'" She cocked her head to the side and gave a soft smile to her son. "Would you give up the Navy for a family?"

Looking into the blue eyes of the little boy in front of him, Harm bit his lower lip and nodded. "I would."

"Does she know that?" Alex tucked her feet underneath her and rubbed her son's head. He gave her a drooly smile and reached a chubby hand out for the soother she held.

"I told her."

"But did she hear you?" Her blue eyes were soft, miroring her mother's.

Harm looked at Alex, who shrugged. "We were there. We asked each other, which was more important? Our careers, or our family. And my career can be moved anywhere." She leaned over and took the boy from Harm. "I'm going to go feed this little guy before he has a freak out."

He watched her walk away, balancing the boy on her hip, a bag on the other arm and a giant smile on her face for her husband who was turing the corner to help. Cody grabbed the boy from her and placed a kiss on her neck while Alex snaked her arm around his waist.

--

"Probably Bethesda." Sean answered with a grin. "Dad has some pull and the AJ said something about 'Admiral's Privelege.'"

"Really? That's great. We can see each other." Mac smiled from her wheelchair. "Any plans for after?"

Sean gave another shy smile. "RMC for their aeronatuical engineering program. I got accepted while we were in Afghanistan, and I can become an officer too."

"That's awesome." She winced when she tried to move her arm the wrong way.

"Stop moving." He said laughing, but stoppping when he felt the pain in his side start throbbing.

"I could say the same thing for you kiddo. If I didn't tell you before, thank you for saving my life."

A flash crossed his face. "You're welcome." He fell back against his bed. "You going to go for your bubble bath?"

"Once I get this darn thing off, totally." She smiled and patted the boy on his outstretched foot. "You sleep, I'll see you later."

--

"I've got to go."

Alex looked at her husband and frowned. "That was Bruce and George on the phone?"

He nodded. "Yeah. They need me back. I'll call you when I get in, I'm heading straight to Atlanta." Placing a kiss on her forehead he sighed. "My stuff will be down there waiting. I'm sorry sweetie."

"It's okay." She wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her forehead against his chest. "How long will you be gone?"

"Atlanta tomorrow. Then Carolina. Then Florida. I'll be back next Tuesday for 10 days." He said softly, tucking a curl behind her ear. "I'm really sorry."

"Cody, it's okay. I'm just happy they gave you time to come here." She smiled up at her husband, blinking away tears. "Go back to the hotel and pack."

"Sorry."

"Go." She gave him a nod. "Just go Cody. I've got everything under control."

"I promise to call. I love you. I love you so much." Leaning down he gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

"I know, me too. Now go."

Harm watched the young man hurriedly rush down the hallway, cellphone stuck to his head. Alex sighed and pulled her hair into tight pigtails on the sides of her head. She angrily wiped a tear away with the back of her hand, making sure no one saw her cry. Feeling like an intruder, Harm closed his eyes and leaned forward, trying to blend into the background. Opening them, he looked up and saw Alex standing there with a slightly sad and slightly amused look on her face.

"It's okay Commander. We're good at saying goodbye."

"So are we." He looked at his watch. "I should get back to Mac's room, the doctor should be done there." Turning to look at the young Major he paused. "Do you regret things?"

"No. Sometimes you have to take chances. Jump without a net and see where you land. And, we've landed on our feet. I'm sure you would too."

--

"When we get home, you'll come stay with me."

Mac rolled her eyes. "No thanks Harm. I'd rather be in my own apartment."

"Then I'll stay there with you." He put up his hands. "No buts. You need someone to watch you, and, I think that we should try this out."

"What thing?"

"Us." He stared at her seriously. "We need to give us a try. I don't want to live with regrets Mac. I don't want to wake up thirty years down the line wishing I had lived my life differently. I want you. I want US."

Mac nodded slowly. "So do I."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

"We'll take it as slow as you want." Harm said, placing a soft kiss on Mac's forehead. She gave him a soft smile and closed her eyes, revelling in the feeling of his lips on her skin.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N – YES, I'm back! My trip was awesome; I am really not looking forward back to work tomorrow. It's –55 Celsius right now, yes, it really is that cold. I am contemplating a suicide pact. So cold. Anyway, I had a lot of this chapter written before I left and I wrote a lot on paper on our many a bus rides. Yes, I did make Cody out to be a Capital (Washington.) I've grown up around hockey players, my dad was going to play hockey in Europe had he not gone into the military and both brothers are WHL draft picks. Plus it really works with the rest of my story.

I hope you enjoy.

"Harm, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Mac. And I'm here to help. Now, are you sure you don't want anything? Tea?" He puttered around her apartment, trying to calm his nerves.

"Sit down." She gave him a soft smile. "I swear Harm, I'm okay."

"No headaches?"

Her brown eyes rolled towards the ceiling. "Not counting you? Harm, seriously. I'm fine. Even the arm doesn't hurt as much." She reached out to grab the pacing naval officer. "You're making me nervous just watching you. Please, sit down."

He gave an exasperated sigh before slumping beside her. "Sorry, I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I am." She grasped his hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "Thanks for being here Harm."

Placing a sweet kiss on her lips he smiled. "You're welcome. Now you're SURE you're okay…OUCH. MAC!"

She laughed as she slapped his arm. "Seriously Harm. I'm okay." Propping her arm up on a pillow she leaned into his chest. "Now I'm okay. Do you want to check out what's on TV? I'll even give you the remote…"

"You drive a hard bargain, Marine." A grin crossed his face as he grabbed the remote from her uninjured hand and started to flip through the stations. "I'm just going to check the score on the game."

"The rookie defenseman out of Boston University scores his third goal of the year, giving the Capitals as 3-1 lead. He's doing everything for the Capitals so far this season. He's a throw back type of defenseman. Big. Mean. Heavy shot. Mean." The announcer laughed as the camera zoomed in on the player. "Did we mention he was mean?"

"Hey…isn't that Alex's husband?" Mac asked nudging Harm.

He squinted at the TV. The player was wearing a helmet, of course, hiding his hair, but she did have a point. He did look awfully familiar. "Not sure, could be."

"We should watch to find out."

"You sure? I didn't know you liked hockey."

"Come on, a sport where men can beat each other up and only sit out for five minutes? What's not to like?"

"Cody Gianinni just returned from taking a few personal days off and it looks like he hasn't missed a step. With a goal and an assist in the game, he's brought his point total up to 12 points in 9 games. Great free agent signing by the Caps." The announcer said, as the camera landed on Cody again, taking a drink of water on the bench.

"Wonder why he didn't say anything, or Alex for that matter. She doesn't seem to be the person that would just keep something like that silent." Mac said, awe in her voice.

Harm snickered. "I know why." He reached forward and grabbed the open laptop. Turning it around he showed Mac what he had found. "His rookie contract is worth $925, 000 a year. Sure his next contract he'll be making over 2 million."

"Shit, I just dream about money like that."

"And he gets it for playing a game." Harm shrugged. "That's probably why he didn't say anything. I can't see him gloating about it. Nice kid." He turned his attention back to the game. He felt content, Mac's body resting against his. His hand, gently holding hers, softly running his thumb over the smooth skin of the back of her hand. It just felt right. With Annie, he always felt smothered. With Jordan, they never had the time to lie and relax, not that she even liked to do it. And with Renée, that was a story in itself. He felt more like her Cabana boy than boyfriend. But with Mac, it felt natural. Like their bodies were made to fit together.

"What time are we supposed to go to Bud and Harriet's?" She asked quietly, nestling deeper into his arms.

"Around 1930 or so." Glancing at his watch he wrapped his arm around her. "It's only 1300. Do you want to take a nap or anything?"

Hiding a yawn, she nodded. "Yeah, a short one I guess."

"Here, let me move and I'll help you get to bed."

She shook her head. "No…can you just put a pillow on your lap? There's more than enough room for the both of us."

Instead of answering he placed a tasselled pillow on his legs and waited for her to adjust. He watched the rest of the game in silence, running his hands through her hair.

--

"You're sure you're up for this?"

Awkwardly she smoothed her skirt with her one hand and nodded. "Yeah, I have to get out sometime." She smiled as he gripped her hand in his.

"We can call and say you're not ready…"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm…" She warned pulling him gently towards the porch. "Let's go before Harriet sends out a search party, because you know she will."

A smile crossed his face. "You're right. She will, and she'll probably get the whole police department in on it. Let's go."

Hand in hand they walked up to the door, but before they reached the door it flew open and a little blonde tornado came flying out.

"Uncle Harm! Auntie Mac! You came!" AJ threw himself into the legs of his godparents. "Mommy said you might not come, 'cuz you got hurted Auntie Mac." A grin crossed his face. "But you still came!"

Kneeling down in front of the little boy, Harm scooped him up in his arms. "Of course we came, but we have to be careful, Auntie Mac still has a few owwies."

AJ nodded sombrely and leaned over kissed Mac on the cheek. "Kisses make your owwie better." Turning he glared at his godfather. "You give her a kiss too Uncle Harm."

With a grin Harm leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek. Another blonde hurricane, this time older and female came through the door.

"Commander! Colonel! Sorry about AJ, he heard you guys talking and took off." Harriet reached out to grab her oldest son from Harm.

"It's okay Harriet. We were just giving Mac some kisses to fix her owwies, weren't we, buddy?"

"Yes. Yes we were." AJ replied giving a smile to his mom. "Because Auntie Mac has owwies."

"I see that." Harriet put her son on her hip and smiled at the two older officers. "How are you feeling Ma'am?"

"I'm better Harriet. And please, today, it's Mac." She smiled and adjusted her heavy sling. "Thanks for inviting us."

A maternal smile crossed her face. "Ma-c, it's the least we can do. Come in, please." She held the door open for the two of them, he eyes landing on their clasped hands. Biting her lower lip she smiled to herself, swallowing back an excited squeal.

--

"I hope to go back to duty as soon as I'm cleared." Taking a swallow of water, Mac smiled at Bud who seemed to be enchanted by her story. "Really Bud, it wasn't that big of a deal."

"And the Master Corporal? We heard that he was a bit of a wild man."

With a grin she looked at her partner. "Nothing I haven't experienced before." The table laughed at Harm's red face. "Actually, he's a great kid. Really great kid. He's in Bethesda right now, he has more physio than I do, so I swing by and visit him. And smuggle in some food. If you guys thought **I** was bad, you should see this kid pack it away."

"Someone can out eat you? I find that hard to believe." Harm gave her a soft nudge in the ribs. "Though, the kid is also, what, six foot five?"

A smile played on her lips. "Something like that. The meal was great Harriet. Can I help you clear the table? I would offer to do dishes, but I'm afraid that I'd do more harm that good with only one arm."

"We'll clear the table ladies, you go catch up." Exchanging a glance with Bud who nodded.

--

"How is it going? I mean between you two." Harriet gave a small smile to Mac who adjusted herself on the couch. Mac didn't even need to answer, the smile on her face gave it away. "That good, hunh?"

"It really is. He's been so great, making sure I get to rehab on time, being there, helping every step of the way." She grinned. "So who won the office pool?"

"What ever do you mean Colonel?" Harriet batted her eyelashes and turned a bright shade of pink. "An office pool?"

"Don't make me pull rank on you lieutenant." Her eyebrow cocked, hiding under her bangs.

"Okay, I'll check. But I'm pretty sure everyone has run out of time on it already." She gave a sly grin that only Harriet could possess. "So what happens now?"

Mac shrugged. "That's always the question isn't it?" She looked around the room, her eyes falling on Harm. "Neither of us want to resign our commissions, but, the Admiral knows about it and he's trying to figure out an option."

"Would you?"

"Resign my commission?" Mac shook her head. "I'm not sure I'd be able to do it, but at the same point I can't expect Harm to do resign his commission for me."

"Well, I hope the Admiral can get something figured out for you guys. Everyone deserves to be happy…and if I may say, you look happy." She wasn't lying. She hadn't seen her best friend ever look this happy in well, forever. Sure she had been happy with Mic, most of the time. But the times that were bad, were horrible.

"I feel happy."

--

"So sir, what are you going to do?" Bud loaded the last dish in the dishwasher and wiped his hands. "With you and the Colonel."

"The Admiral is working on it. Neither of us want to resign our commissions, as you can expect."

"Would you?"

Harm leaned against the counter and watched AJ and Jimmy play on the floor. "You know what Bud, I would. The Corps means a lot more to Mac than the Navy does to me. But Mac won't hear any of it." He shrugged. "So, we'll see."

"You look happy sir." Bud gave Harm a goofy smile. "I mean, happier than usual. Not saying that you're not normally happy. Sir."

"I am happier. Happier than I've ever been." Probably the happiest he had ever been that he could remember. He watched the two women talk on the couch and looked smiled. Looking back at the younger man he shook his head. "I'm doing everything I made fun of you for, aren't I?"

Bud grinned. "I believe you are sir." His smile spread from ear to ear. "But I won't hold it against you."

Harm rolled his eyes. "Thanks Bud."

"But that doesn't mean I won't give you a hard time, in private of course sir." Chuckling Bud shut the door on the dishwasher. "We're all happy for you two."

--

_The shots echoed in the air, the sounds of bullets ricocheting off anything they could find. Sets of dark eyes, veiled with fear and tears peered at her, their mouths moving, cries in foreign tongues crying out to them for help._

_Sean stared at her, the children crying in the street. Instinct took over. They ran. She watched as the bullets riddled his body, the blood running like rivers being soaked by the parched ground. She screamed until her voice was raw, felt his sticky blood pour out…_

Harm ran his hand through her hair, whispering calming words. Her body shook, sweat so cold it surprised him it didn't freeze to her skin. "It's just a bad dream…shh…"

It came first in sobs, breath catching so often he was afraid she was going to suffocate. Tears streamed down her face. "He…was…s-s-shot." She finally spat out.

He held her as she cried, understanding exactly what she was going through.

Author's note – My brother made it back safely from Afghanistan, he's still a giant pain in the butt. I have incorporated some PTSS into the story since it is something we are now dealing with at home.

**Happy belated Christmas, Hanukah and Eid.**

**Ti-girl**


	18. Chapter 18

Well I am back into the swing of things, albeit slowly. Here is the next chapter. I have the next few chapters written on paper, so I need to type them out as well as changing a few things. Some of the chapters were written in Mexico under the influence of Gravol on a 15 hour night bus ride through the mountains of Chiapas, so I am not too sure what the quality is.

**Again, as always, this chapter is unbeated.**

--

"You look like hell, Rabb."

Harm looked up from his cup of coffee and gave a small shrug. "Haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep the past few days." He stared down into the slightly cooled cup of coffee, black, much darker than he usually drank it.

AJ sighed and closed the officer's door. "It's the Mac, isn't it?" He always tried to stay out of his officer's personal lives and usually did a good job of it, but at the same time they were family.

"I'm not sure if she would want me to tell you." He muttered softly, avoiding the piercing stare of his CO. When he heard no response he slowly looked up. AJ sat across for him, elbows leaning on his knees.

"Harm, what's wrong?"

The caring tone in the JAG's voice almost broke him. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbed as he fought back the feelings that were threatening to bubble over. "She's having nightmares sir. They're more and more frequent now, and neither of us are getting any sleep." Sighing he took a sip of the cold bitter coffee. "And I'm really not sure what to do about it."

Silence overwhelmed the office. AJ finally spoke, running his hand over his head. "Harm, I can't tell you what to do, but Mac needs you and you need to be there for her. I have the name of a good therapist that I can give you."

"Thanks sir."

AJ gave the younger officer a forced smile and stood up to leave. "I would also suggest that you give Marilyn a call. She might be able to help."

Harm nodded and watched as his CO and mentor left his office.

--

"My Xbox."

Marilyn rolled her eyes and threw a glare at her son who was grinning from his hospital bed.

"No, seriously Mom. That's what I miss. My Xbox." He pressed the button so he moved into more of a sitting position. "I sure as hell don't miss Sammy or Alex. Or you or Dad. All I miss is my Xbox…and maybe some food that doesn't taste like vomit."

"SEAN THOMAS CHRISTOPHER!" Marilyn threw a flat hospital pillow at Sean who just laughed.

"No no, you know I'm kidding. Though I get to see Alex…and at least more than before. And have seen Sammy once." He threw the pillow back at his mom.

"You know Sam can't make it with his schedule as much as he would like." Her voice trailed off as Sean struggled to sit up, his eyes catching the slender figure in the doorway. Marilyn turned and waved Mac in. "Colonel, it's so nice to see you. Come in."

"Sorry for…interrupting…I…was just…in the neighbourhood…but if you're busy, I can come back later." Turning to leave, she was stopped by a soft hand on her shoulder.

"Come in and sit." Marilyn led her to an oversized armchair that had been apparently stolen from one of the lounges. "It's so nice to see you." She smiled and laid her hand on Mac's shoulder. "Do you want anything to drink? Eat?"

Mac shook her head slowly. "No thanks…I just…"

Marilyn squeezed her shoulder. "I'm going to go and grab a cup of coffee…I'll leave you two to chat." She gave her son a _be nice or I will kill you _look before leaving. Sean stuck his tongue out at his mother and waved her out of the room. Mac gave the young man a small smile.

"How are you feeling Sean?"

Sean gave her a smile. "Well, I feel better now that they have the tube out of my neck…and a whole helluva lot lighter without my spleen and without ten feet of my small intestine. Though I now have a bionic leg." He pulled the sheet up to reveal his leg wrapped in white bandages. "I asked for them to attach a rocket or something, but they didn't. So now I'm just stuck with this titanium kneecap or whatever they were calling it. Hey…what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He stared at Mac, his eyes huge. "What did I say?"

Wiping her eyes with her sleeve she shook her head. "How do you do it Sean?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Do what?" Waving his hands over his shoulders he looked around the room. "I'm sitting here, getting yelled at by nurses and by my mother. I'm not doing a hell of a lot."

"That. Do that! You're so positive...so…I mean…don't you have nightmares? Don't you hate what's happened to you? The time and effort you have to put in for rehabilitation, aren't you angry?" She crossed her legs under herself and stared at the young man in the bed.

His large shoulders shrugged. "Not really." He started to explain before a nurse entered the room.

"Sorry for interrupting, but Master Corporal Christopher has his physical therapy appointment."

Sean wrinkled his face up and threw a pillow at the nurse. "Get me a bionic leg woman, then I will comply!" The nurse laughed and threw it back.

"Ass in the wheel chair young man before I force you." She moved the wheelchair to the side of the bed and looked expectantly at Sean who crossed his arms across his chest.

"Gonna make me?"

"Ever hear of how they put a catheter in?" The nurse gave an evil grin.

"Okay, okay, I give." He smiled at Mac. "I'll be back in a couple of hours, you'll stay. Right?"

She nodded. The room became quiet, too quiet for her liking. After leaving a note on the bed Mac grabbed her jacket and turned to leave. Looking up she stopped and looked into a pair of grey eyes.

"Leaving so soon?" Marilyn stood in the doorway, a cup of coffee in each hand.

"Yeah…well…they took Sean for his physical therapy so I decided to leave…for a bit…" She mumbled staring at the older woman.

"Sarah, are you okay?" Passing a cup of coffee to the Marine she pulled a chair up alongside the other one. The silence grew around them. Marilyn looked out the window and sighed. "No one ever told you what Thom did before he took the job in DC, did they?" Getting no answer she continued. "1994, he went with General Dallaire into Rwanda with the United Nations."

Mac turned around quickly to face her. "He…was a Peace Keeper?"

"Yes he was. When he came back I didn't think that I would ever get him back. Nightmares of the massacres, withdrawing…he even started getting abusive towards the kids. Alex was 11, Sean 7 and Sammy was just 3." She gave Mac a sad smile. "You may think you're the only one going through what you're going through, but, you're wrong. As long as there are people like you, my husband, my daughter and my son out there fighting for our freedom and the freedoms of others, there will always be THIS." Leaning over she took Mac's now shaking hands into her own. Tears ran down the younger woman's face.

"H-How did he…"

"Even ten years ago it was known as shell shock and the men were told to 'suck it up and go back to work.' But it kept getting worse. For all of the men involved, especially poor Romeo." Hesitation was thick in her voice. "It has affected Sean, don't let him tell you otherwise."

"But he said…"

"My son says a lot, and most of it holds no water. It affects him Sarah, just like it affects you."

Mac hesitated, her brow eyes peering at the steaming cup of coffee that she held in her hands. "How did Thom get over it?"

Looking out the window again, Marilyn gave a sad smile, as if she was remembering a secret told to her long ago. "There weren't any doctors back then and the men were told not to talk about what happened. One night I woke up and he was gone and all that was left was a note saying 'I can't take it anymore. I can't live like this.' I knew where to find him."

--

Mac never felt comfortable in a church and today was no exception. The wooden pews, the stained glass windows, the silence of it all.

"This, is where you found him?"

Marilyn nodded. "Yeah. It suprises people when I tell them that we weren't really a religious family before then." She sat down in a pew at the front of the church and sighed. "Not that we didn't believe, but more we were the type of family that it didn't seem to matter. Until then. Until you feel like you're going to lose someone…and lose yourself in the process."

Part of her wanted to scream, part of her wanted to cry, part of her wanted to throw herself on the ground and throw a tantrum, but the grown woman and marine held tight. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." Dealing with military types most of her adult life, Marilyn knew that they couldn't back down from a challenge.

Her hands clenched at her side, shaking with silent rage and despair. "I have NOBODY." She seethed. "No one. I never have. It's me, myself and I. I can't be a mother, a wife, or hell, even a proper girlfriend. Look at me. I can't sleep, I won't let the man I've been in love with touch me."

"Have you ever thought that you aren't alone?"

Spinning around so fast it almost made her head spin, Mac glared at the older woman. "Do you SEE anyone with me?!"

Silently, Marilyn pointed to the front of the church where, nailed to the cross, stretched out as far as his arms would go, He stared down at them.

--

"Burger."

"No, you get soup, a sandwich and Jello."

"Pizza?"

"No, this is what you get."

"I wish a plague on your house!"

The nurse turned and put her hands on her wide hips and glared at the young man. "You know, we can just beat you in your sleep."

Sean glared at her and waved her out the room. "Off with you, vile woman."

"Giving the nurses trouble?" Mac peered in as the nurse was leaving the room.

"Look at what they're trying to make me eat." He shoved the food around on his tray. "Expect me to survive on this…"

"How was your therapy?"

"No rocket leg yet. I still think that would be the best weapon ever. 'Hello sir, I am just a crippled man'…and kablowy!" His grin faded on his face. "How are you doing Ma'am?"

Grabbing the large, still very adolescent hands, Mac smiled. "A lot better now."

--

"Call Rabb in." AJ leaned his head against the back of his chair and waited for the expected knock on the door. "Enter."

Harm walked in and stood at attention. "Take a seat Harm."

He knew that it wasn't business that they were going to discuss, it was something more serious. It was Mac. "Yes sir?"

Taking off his glasses and staring at his senior attorney, AJ sighed. "Take the rest of the day off, Harm. I just got off the phone with Marilyn. Mac was at the hospital all day visiting the young Mr. Christopher. I don't know the details and Marilyn said that she wouldn't tell what they spoke about, but she drove Mac's 'vette back and her back to the apartment."

"Is Mac okay?"

"Harm, Marilyn didn't give me any details. To quote her 'It isn't my place to say what happens. Just tell Harm that she is there.'"


	19. Chapter 19

AN – If you're apathetic towards religion or hate organized religion, this may not be the chapter for you to read. I'm drawing from personal experiences. There weren't a lot of doctors that treated PTSS/PTSD when I was growing up and there weren't very many places to turn to, but my mom being the strong woman she is hung in there and found help. Comments are great and always appreciated but if they are going to be any of the "The bible is fake, why do you listen to fairy tales" and "It doesn't work like that." I would rather not hear it. Gracias.

**--**

How many times had he made this exact trip? First thing in the morning, at 6am just as the sun was peeking over the horizon. Late at night, the streets flooded with nothing but fake light. During the day, something like he was today when the sun was directly overhead, leaving no trace of a shadow and making her street seem friendlier than normal. He parked in the nearest spot and took the stairs two by two.

"Mac? Mac…" He banged on the door as he turned the key.

The scene was almost too familiar. Mac on the couch her body wrapped up in a blanket, staring off into space, the room dark.

"Jesus Christ Mac. Are you okay?" He rushed to her side, wrapped his arms around her.

"F-Fine." She shivered as if she was freezing, trying to grab the blanket and cover herself tighter with it.

He held her tightly, sliding onto the couch with her, holding her shaking body close to his. "I'm here. I'm here." Pressing his lips softly against her neck he sighed. "Talk to me Sarah."

"Nothing to talk about." She mumbled, closing her eyes.

"Please."

Silence. She stared out the window and waited.

"I'm not going to go anywhere Mac." Gently brushing her hair back. "I'll be here for you."

Mac shook her head. "I'm going out tonight." She closed her eyes. "At 1700."

"What? Are you sure? You can talk to me, we're in this together." Gently he turned her so they were face to face. "You know that, right? I'll never leave you."

"Marilyn will be here around 1630. I'm going to go take a bath."

--

"Come with me." She possessed a stare that could make even retired Generals move and stand at attention.

Thom raised an eyebrow but didn't argue. His wife came back from the hospital in what he liked to refer to as a "major emotional turmoil" and hadn't calmed down since she walked through the door hours earlier. Though, all of their dishes were very VERY clean and very VERY organized. And his shirts were ironed. That usually meant a bad thing, since there was nothing Marilyn hated more than ironing and complained when he came back with more cotton dress shirts.

"Where are we going?"

As if he had just asked the dumbest question known to man, Marilyn cocked her head to the side. "YOU, are going to meet with Commander Rabb. I, am going to take Colonel Mackenzie and our daughter out." She put on a pale pink sweater and buttoned up her pants with matching pinstripes.

"Do I even dare ask why?" He leaned back on his chair and took in the sight that was his very flustered wife.

"Colonel Mackenzie is having some problems sleeping." Her blue eyes bore into her husband's dark brown ones. "The way you did when you came back from Rwanda."

They stood in silence. "I talked to her at the hospital."

"Oh?"

"Oh. Thom, she's in pain. You didn't see her, it's tearing her up. I saw her, and I saw you, Thom. I lived with you. I saw the look on your face. The far away look, the night terrors. You don't think I don't remember that? I stayed up for hours, calling friends, colleges, and acquaintances to see where you were. I hid in the closet with the kids. Too scared to come out and face you, and too stubborn to walk away. I'm not letting anyone else go through what we did." She stood to her full height and looked at her husband. "You should know better than anyone else how hard it is to live through this. Please Thom?"

Sighing he threw his book down. "Okay, okay, you've guilted me into it. I'll help."

"I shouldn't have to guilt you." She replied throwing his newly ironed shirts on his bed. "Get dressed. I'm going to pick up Alex at 1530. She has to drop Dante off at the sitter's, then we're going to pick up Colonel Mackenzie."

"What time should I see Commander Rabb?"

--

If you arrive on time for a meeting with Marilyn, you are late. You show up late and chances are she has already left. Showing up 15 minutes early, you were right on time. And she followed her own rule and showed up at Mac's at 1615. She stood at her door with Alex a few steps behind.

"Come in Mrs. Christopher, Alex." Harm opened the door and smiled at the two women. Alex gave a small smile and pulled her sleeves over her hands.

"Thank you Commander Rabb." Marilyn said with a smile.

"Mac should be out in a few minutes." He shut the door down behind them. "And please, call me Harm."

"Only if you call me Marilyn." Her teeth shone as she smiled. "How are you doing Harm?"

"I have been better." His always-perfect smile wasn't so perfect. It was forced, faked. "But thank you for asking." He stood awkwardly, leaning against the wall watching the two women, the younger a spitting image of the older, right down to the way they stood. "How are you Alex? All settled in?"

Alex jumped slightly at the sound of her name. "Oh, we're getting there sir. Lots of unpacking to do, as you can imagine."

"How is the little guy?"

"Not too impressed at the moment, we dropped him off at the sitter's." She gave a small smile.

"Cody is in, Tampa Bay, right?"

Her blue eyes narrowed. "Right."

They stood around making small talk until Mac emerged a few minutes later from her bedroom. Wearing a pair of dark jeans and a teal polo shirt she matched Alex for style and they looked like they were ready to head out to a college lecture or something.

"Sorry for making you wait."

"Nonsense Sarah. I'm German, I'm always early." Marilyn winked and started ushering the two younger women out the door. "We should be back later, I promise to return her in one piece."

Harm nodded and only wished that it was true.

--

The SUV pulled up in front of a small church, cars parked all around the lights on inside. Marilyn put the vehicle in park and killed the ignition. "Feel free to come in whenever you're ready Sarah." She smiled at the younger woman in the front seat. "Coming in Alex?"

"Yeah, I'll be right in Mom. I'm just going to call the sitter and make sure Dante hasn't flushed anything." Pulling out her cell she stepped out of the vehicle. They could hear her talking and then shaking her head. Eventually she stuck her head into the parked vehicle. "Well, he tried to flush a whole roll of toilet paper, but they caught him at the last second. So he's screaming bloody murder and breaking every sound barrier. Sounds like a normal night."

Marilyn stepped out of the vehicle and quietly shut the car. "Let's head in Alex. Sarah, anytime you want to join us…feel free."

The two figures crossed the street before Mac opened the door. She jogged trying to catch up, meeting them at the doorstep. The building was warm, but not uncomfortable and it was set up with food at the back, oversized couches in a group in the middle. Alex took off for a group of young people who were lying haphazardly on the couches. One woman, about Alex's age stood up and shoved her playfully into the couch. They laughed and laid back onto the overstuffed couch.

Old habits die hard. Mac looked around nervously, chewing on her thumbnail trying to blend into the wall. People looked at her, not with pity or sympathy but with genuine interest. A tall dark haired woman stood beside her.

"Hi, my name is Christine. You must be new." She smiled at Mac.

"I-I'm Sarah. I'm here with…Marilyn and Alex." A jerk that passed as a nod motioned towards the other two women.

"Carmen, the girl sitting with Alex is my daughter. Welcome. Help yourself to a drink or something to eat. We should be starting pretty soon."

Everyone seemed comfortable with each other. Young, like Alex and Carmen, monopolizing the couches with laughter and loud voices. Old, grey haired and primly perched on the hard wooden chairs, cups of tea held in their wrinkly hands. And everyone in between. An older man stood at the front of the room and waved his arms.

"We're going to start, so if the couch dwellers can move…" His voice was soft and everyone in the room took his glare as a joke. A groan came from the group on the couch, but they shifted and accomplished to move onto two couches instead of eight. "That's much better. We thank you for your efforts." He rolled his eyes and motioned to the newly opened seats. Once everyone found a seat on the couch or pulled chairs close enough to the circle he started again. "I'd like to thank you for coming, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Marty. I'm a part time Pastor here and am in the Army reserves. I most of us sitting around here are involved with the military in one way or another, albeit we are personally or we love someone who is. I would like to go around the circle and introduce ourselves. We'll start over here." He pointed at Alex.

"I'm Major Alexandra Gianinni of the Canadian Armed Forces. I just recently moved to the DC area with my husband and my son and I even more recently came back from a rescue operative in Afghanistan. My father was in the military and my brother is in Bethesda recovering from his injuries he suffered in Afghanistan." She poked the woman next to her who rolled her eyes.

"I'm Carmen Danyuluk. My dad just returned from Iraq."

The introductions continued until they reached Mac. "Uh…I'm Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, I am a JAG lawyer at the headquarters in Falls Church. I was in Afghanistan as a translator and just returned a couple of weeks ago." Staring at her hands she waited until the introductions were all done.

"I would like to thank everyone again for coming. I'd like to start with a short prayer." Marty closed his eyes and clasped his hands. "Lord, please bless the people here. We thank you for their safe arrival here and we pray that you will guide us in everything we do tonight. In your name we pray. Amen." Looking up he smiled at the group. "People ask me why I started this group. We as soldiers are taught to be strong. We're trained to kill and not think twice about it. And when we do, people question our abilities as soldiers. We're not trained killing machines. We're people, human beings. We have feelings, consciences and lives outside of our jobs. Today there are thousands of military personal suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that affects them and their family. I created this group so that people involved in the military and their families can speak without fear of being judged. Does anyone want to start?" He looked around the room. "Colonel Mackenzie?"

Staring down at her hands, Mac shook her head slowly. Marty gave her a soft smile. "Alright, Major Gianinni? Would you care to share?"

Her voice was amazingly strong and clear, a timber that was easy to understand and listen to. With the confidence of a seasoned veteran, Alex pulled her legs under her. "In the Canadian armed forces they allow women to fight in the front lines, along with the men. I never thought that I would be a solider, let alone in the front lines, but as it happens, things change. I thought law was a safe direction to go, I mean how many lawyers get sent to war?" She looked at Mac and blushed. "All of us suffer. You want me to talk about my experiences? How about seeing children playing with discarded shells? Not being able to go to school because their school was blown up by a stray bomb, along with many of their friends. Seeing my brother fight for his life after doing his duty?" Her hands clenched at her side. "It's tough. I know I've woken up trying to find my gun, listening to gunfire no one else hears. People ask me if I hate it. I don't. Some people ask if I'm going to stay until my pension kicks in and then "get the hell out." I'm not. As Peter said in the Bible: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." She paused and allowed the people to absorb what she just said. "These are my trials."

--

Harm answered the door, wiping his hands on his jeans. Thom leaned against the door jam with a case of beer cradled under his arm. "I come bearing the gift of Canadian beer."

"What's the occasion?"

"No reason." He set the case of beer down on the table. "Just came to talk. Take one. It's a variety pack."

Reading the labels, Harm grabbed the beer with the blue label and lead Thom to the couch. "Want to watch the game?"

"Sure, think the Caps are playing the Bolts tonight….the Lightning." He corrected, catching Harm's confused look.

They watched the game in silence before Thom turned to the younger man. "You probably know why I'm here, right?"

"Not to watch the game. Guessing you have a bigger TV at your place." The beer was rich and thick in his mouth.

"Yeah, and I have HD." His brown eyes danced. "If you ever need anything, you can call me." He brought the bottle to his lips and took a long drink.

Harm stared at the TV and after an intense goal celebration by the men in red he turned to Thom. "Why? Why her? Why now?"

"Everyone reacts differently. I know guys who went to Rwanda with me that have never had a problem. I, on the other hand, almost suffocated my wife thinking she was a rebel." His dark eyes clouded. "That's something AJ didn't tell you, right?"

"No…sir." He sat in a stunned silence and watched the players fly across the ice like they had rockets attached to their feet. "I would never have thought…"

"Not many people do. Thing eventually do get better. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not next week. Maybe not next month. But they do." Thom set his beer down and looked at the younger man. "I can't tell you what works and I can't tell you what to do. But listen to her. Let her take things at her own pace. Don't push. If she needs to be held, hold her. If she doesn't want to look at you, make scarce. If she wants to love you, love her back. But let her know that you support her and you'll always support her."

"I do support her."

"I know you do, but does she know that?" Thom looked back at the TV as his son in law came into view. "To quote my life 'I'm not a damn mind reader.' We military types tend to be all alike." Standing up he gave Harm's shoulder a small squeeze. "I better get going. Keep the beer."

Harm watched the older man collect his jacket and left, leaving him with his thoughts.

--

Alex pulled her knitted hat low on her head, pulling the earflaps down, despite the temperature in the room. The confidence she had shown before had faded, like it took all her strength and courage to tell her story and now she was on the verge of falling asleep. Her body was crushed against the material of the couch, leaning against the girl next to her.

Looking around the room Marty stood up. "We'll take a break, if anyone wants a drink or anything to drink help themselves."

Mac slid over towards Alex who had her arms wrapped around her. "How do you do it?"

Peering out from beneath her bangs that hid her eyes she stared at the older woman. "Do what?"

"Bare your soul like that."

She shrugged and mumbled something before turning back. "I…I just feel better when I talk to someone, when I let it all out there. No one in this room can judge me."

"I wish I was that brave."

Her eyebrow arched and she looked at Mac. "I'm not. There's a lot about me you don't know." She tied her hat underneath her chin, making her look a whole 9 years old. "I'm not what everyone thinks I am, not even close. But I'm still standing and so are you."

"You're stronger than I am. I've done so many thing I'm not proud of, God has probably given up on me."

Alex rolled her eyes, something that Mac thought she must have had plenty of practice at. "God doesn't give up. It's us who gives up on him." Rolling off the couch and brushing her jeans off she looked at the mingling group. "I'm going to grab some juice."

Mac ran her finger along the cover of beaten bible and flipped the book open. _ "Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings."_ She read slowly, the words blurring behind the tears.

Marilyn watched from the corner of the room and put her glass on the table and walked towards Mac. "You okay Sarah?"

Tear-stained she looked up at the older woman, choking back a reply. She burst into tears as she felt the arm of the other woman on her shoulder.


	20. Chapter 20

He could see a change in her. Subtle at first, but soon it became more noticeable. Her eyes that had been clouded by fear and confusion were slowly clearing, like the clouds leaving from a permanently overcast sky. She had been cleared to return to work on Monday and Harm was convinced this was going to be a good week. She laughed more. She also cried more, but he took that as a good sign.

Emerging from the washroom in sweats and a plain white long sleeved white shirt she looked relaxed, despite the lack of sleep she had that night. She pushed her hair off her face and gave him a small smile.

"Sorry about last night." She whispered, pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Hey, it's okay." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "How're you feeling?"

A smile crossed her face. "A lot better. Thanks for everything…but now that I'm going back to work…are you sure that you should still be here? I mean, I appreciate it…but…" Her voice trailed off.

"I said that I would be here for you Mac, and I'm not going to change that now. And I mean that. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. The Admiral understands the situation we're in."

"What IS the situation we're in?" She whispered quietly, placing the tea on the countertop and shifting in his arms so they were face to face.

"Whatever you want it to be Mac." Staring into her eyes he gave her a soft smile. "Whatever you want it to be. If you want it to just be this," He extended his arms out and motioned around the room. "It will just be this. But if you want something more, it can be more."

"What do you want, Harm?"

Sighing he pulled them onto the couch and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Mac, this is something that I've wanted for six years. To do this. To hold you. To wake up next to you. That's what I want."

Tears filled her brown eyes. "I'm not the girl that you marry, Harm. I'm the girl you sleep with, the girl you use. Not the girl you marry and take home to your family."

Gathering her up in his arms he held her against his chest. "You really don't believe that, do you Mac?" He could tell from the look in her eyes that she did. "Mac, you're the most amazing woman I have ever met. You're beautiful, you're smart, you're strong…"

She struggled against him. "If I'm so strong why do I keep waking up crying? Why can't I get it out of my head? Why?"

His heart went out to her. Tears streamed down her face, soaking the front of his shirt. But he didn't care. All he cared about was the woman he held in his arms.

"I don't know Mac, but we're making progress. The two of us. Together." He let her cry and when her sobs slowed to a few sniffles and sighs he gently pulled away and looked her in the eyes. "I don't know who has fed you those lies Mac, but that's exactly what they are. Lies. You're perfect Mac, perfect for me."

Mac gave him a watery smile. "Thanks Harm, I needed to hear that."

"I'm not making it up Mac. It's the truth. I love you and I'm in love with you." He kissed the top of her head and pulled her into a hug. "You don't have to say anything." He whispered as he felt her body tense. "Just know that I do."

--

They stared at the wall stiffly at attention. The day had finally arrived, they both knew it had to be, but both dreaded it. One of them was leaving.

"At ease." AJ sat behind his desk, peering over his glasses. "Please, take a seat." Folding his hands on the large desk he examined both of his officer's stoned faces. "I'd like someone to come in and talk to you about the options we have figured out." He pressed the intercom button. "Send him in Tiner."

A few seconds later the door opened and a familiar figure strode through, looking crisper than the last time they aw him. An infectious smile crossed his face as he took place beside AJ's desk.

"Colonel Mackenzie, Commander Rabb. I must say, you both look better than the last time I saw you." He extended his hand and shook both of the officer's hands. "Has AJ told you anything?"

"NO sir." Harm replied giving a sideways glance to his CO who leaned back in his chair with a smug grin on his face.

"To be suspected I suppose. Those damn Seals, keeping everything so…so..secreative." Thom grinned at AJ who shot him a glare. "Anyway, AJ explained your situation to me and it just so happens that I am looking for a legal liaison between the Canadian and American militaries. Essentially, I need someone to go in front of the ministers of defence from both our countries, writing briefs and reports about what can be done between both our countries to allow for the best security possible. Pretty light duty actually…and when you're not needed…"

"You're back here doing what you do now. But technically you'd be under a different chain of command." AJ said with a grin. "Commander, Thom and I have had lengthy discussions and as much as the Colonel's linguistic skills would come in handy, I can't lose my chief-of-staff. So…if you agree Commander, as of Thursday you will be reassigned to Mr. Christopher's staff.

Harm and Mac exchanged smiles before turning back to the older men. "Than you, both of you." Harm said shaking both of their hands. "But Admiral, sir, that doesn't fix YOUR problem of being down another trial lawyer."

The two older men exchanged smiles. "Oh, we have that one figured out as well." AJ punched the speaker button on his desk. "Now please Tiner."

The door flew open and a flash of forest green came to a stop beside the two of them. "Major Alexandra Giannini reporting for duty sir." Alex stole a glance at the two of them before looking back at AJ.

"Commander. Colonel. Meet our new trial lawyer."

--

"You didn't tell me!" Mac lamented to Alex who merely shrugged her shoulders.

"It wasn't a sure thing, or else I would have. I got offered it and figured may as well take it. Can't get a better offer than working at the JAG headquarters, now can I?" She tucked her beret under her arm and looked around the bullpen. "Nice place."

"You're easily impressed Major." Harm replied with a laugh. "Here, let me introduce you to some of the people here. You already met Tiner, right?"

Alex nodded. "The Admiral's yeoman, yes, I met him."

"And you know Turner." Harm stuck his arm out and stopped Bud as he hurried by with an armful of books. "Lieutenant Roberts, I'd like to introduce you to our new trial lawyer, Major Alexandra Giannini. Major, this is Lieutenant Bud Roberts."

"Nice to meet you Lieutenant." She extended her hand towards the stunned Bud.

"Uh…nice to meet you too, Ma'am…I would…" He motioned to the armful of books.

"Totally understandable." Her blue eyes sparkled.

"This, is Lieutenant Robert's wife, Lieutenant Harriet Sims." Harm continued, stopping the blonde Lieutenant as she walked by. "Harriet, this is Major Alexandra Giannini."

"Alex, please."

"Nice to meet you Ma'am. Are you the new trial lawyer?"

"I am Lieutenant."

"If you need any help finding anything, let me know. I can show you around." Harriet said with a smile.

"That would be great, I'd really appreciate it." She returned the smile.

"Who is THIS?"

Harm rolled his eyes before turning around. "This is MAJOR Alexandra Gianinni, Lieutenant. Major, this is Lieutenant Loren Singer."

"Oh I see. Are you a new administration assistant?"

Harm and Mac tried hard to hold back their laughter at the look both Harriet and Alex shot Singer glares that could freeze water.

"Actually LIEUTENANT, I'm the new trial lawyer. And I personally believe that the office staff is always very under appreciated. I for one, wouldn't want to help lawyers all day." Alex crossed her arms across her chest and stared at the smaller Lieutenant.

"Oh, I didn't realise that the Admiral was looking for a new trial lawyer."

"Apparently." She smiled at the group. "Would you please excuse me, I have to call my husband."

Singer looked at the group as Alex stepped out of the bullpen, phone held to her ear. "Junior lawyer, right?"

"No, she's done some pretty high cases in Canada. Pretty sure she'll be one of the Senior trial lawyers." The grin on Harm's face told the whole story. Everything was falling into place.

With a smile on her own face Alex returned, shoving her phone in her jacket. "Sorry about that. Cody was just wondering if you guys would be free for lunch. He suggested Ho's Organic Noodle House at 1230."

"Organic noodles? Not him too." Mac frowned, wrapping her good arm around Harm's waist.

"You're telling me." Alex rolled her eyes before turning to the group. "So, would you guys like to join us for lunch? It's on us."

"Sure that would be great." Harm replied.

"Lieutenant Sims? Would you care to join us?"

Harriet gave the young Major a smile. "I would like that."

"Great, please invite your husband." She looked around the bullpen. "Lieutenant Singer, if you want you can come along."

"No, I have WORK to do." The lieutenant retorted turning her back and stalking off towards her office.

With a roll of her eyes Alex watched her turn the corner. "I should go out and wait for Cody, knowing him he will get lost and end up in Delaware. Does anyone need a ride?" Everyone shook their heads. "Great. Could you please invite Commander Turner?"

--

"So my Dad pitched the idea to the Admiral and here I am." Alex put some noodles on Dante's plate and smiled at the table. "Sorry you were the one who has to work with my Dad, Comander."

Harm grinned. "Pretty sure I can deal with him, though I will have to brush up on my Canadian history and politics."

"I've got plenty of books if you want them, though Canadian History…not nearly as interesting as everywhere else. Except for the fact that you can base our whole Confederation on a crate of champagne." She grinned and waved at Bud and Harriet as they walked through the door. "Grab a seat guys. This is my husband Cody Giannini and our son Dante. Cody, this is Lieutenant Bud Roberts and his wife Lieutenant Harriet Sims."

Cody stood up and shook their hands across the table. "Very nice to meet you. I'm defiantly the odd one out here." He said with a laugh looking around the table at the uniforms around him.

"We can always use new blood." Sturgis replied leaning back in his chair.

Harriet sat down beside Alex and smiled at Dante. "He's just a little doll now isn't he?" She ran her hand over the boy's dark curls. "Bet you're such a good boy too."

Dante squealed and took a handful of noodles in his chubby hand and mashed them on the table in front of him. The group laughed as Cody caught his hand before he tried to launch the noodles ceiling high.

"Nuh-uh baby D. Not here."

The boy glared at his father, his face growing red.

"Okay, we're going to take a walk before he explodes and breaks the sound barrier. I'll be back." Cody swiftly scooping the boy up in his arms and marching towards the front door.

"Sorry about that." Alex rolled her eyes and went back to picking at the noodles on her plate. "I will have to take you up on your offer of showing me around Lieutenant Sims. I almost got lost leaving today!"

The blond Lieutenant smiled. "Anytime Major."

"Alex, please. Sorry for monopolizing the conversation. Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie were telling me that you have a son."

"Yes we do. He's a bit older than Dante." Bud grinned. "So, if you don't mind me asking what got you into law?"

Alex swallowed the mouthful and tucked an unruly curl behind her ear. "Luck I guess. We moved around a lot with my dad's commissions so instead of registering us in schools all the time, I did my school by correspondence. My parents figured that I was social enough with sports so it wouldn't kill me. So I graduated early, when I was about 16 and decided to apply to the Royal Military College and majored in politics and economics." She shrugged. "Graduated when I was 19 from that and went to Harvard. Played on their hockey team there and got my law degree."

"And met the man of her dreams, fell in love and had a beautiful but very messy little boy and lived happily ever after." Cody plopped Dante down on his chair and grinned. "Sorry, I had to add my two cents in."

Sturgis laughed. "Get it in while you can, man."

All three women at the table turned and glared at Sturgis who just shrugged his shoulders. "Just telling it the way it is."

Harm leaned back on his chair and smiled, taking in the site of the woman he loved laughing, a sight he hoped he would see more of in the future.

--

A/N – sorry this chapter is so bad. I've been writing and rewriting it and I can't seem to get it right, so I hope this suffices. These next few weeks are really busy, and seeing as I'm suffering from pneumonia (I catch EVERYTHING!) things are going slow.

Hopefully the next chapters will be up sometime next week.


	21. Chapter 21

**I believe that this is my second last chapter that has been "pre-written" (meaning I wrote it on my travels through Mexico). Thank you everyone for all the support. I am feeling better, the meds are kicking in, though, according to my doctor, I am housing Snap, Crackle and Pop in my chest right now. Cough.**

**--**

AJ peered around the bullpen. Things seemed to be going forward as usual, and people were trickling in, their heads craning to see what was going on in the corner office. He for one, knew exactly what was going on, but was one of the people who was scared of the result. He knew the Christopher family well; having dealt with the elder Christopher on many occasions and knew exactly what type of people they were. Kind, outgoing, incredibly intelligent but strong willed and pig headed. He chuckled to himself. Sounded familiar. Staff call was still forty five minutes away, though more people were in the bullpen, earlier than usual.

"Is she doing complete renovations in there?" Lt. Singer asked glaring towards the source of the noise.

"I'm not sure, why don't you ask her." AJ crossed his arms across his chest and stared at the young lieutenant in front of him. "Do you have a question Lieutenant?"

"Yes sir, I mean, no sir. Not until staff call."

He looked down at the woman who was still standing uncomfortably close to him. "Then you do have something better to do than just stand here?"

"Yes sir." She scampered off muttering under her breath about the noise.

"Alex, sir?"

Spinning around he saw the smiling face of his Chief-of-staff holding a steaming cup of coffee in her hands.

"How did you guess?"

"She kind of has that 'leaving a wake of destruction in her path' type of personality sir." Mac replied with a grin. "I'll go check to see if she's accomplished to bury herself yet and warn her about staff call."

"Thanks Colonel. And Colonel?" He stopped and waited for her to face him. "It's nice to have you back."

"Thanks sir." Following the sound of the noise she stood in the doorway of Alex's office. It was a little farther out of the way, closer to Bud's old office, but Alex swore that as long as it had a desk and a few chairs she would be fine with anything. "Doing total renovation?" She called through the open door.

Alex popped her head out from behind her desk and waved. "Not completely. Just putting some stuff away." She motioned to the pile of books on the floor and the shelves in corner. "They're going to EVENTUALLY make it over there."

"Looks like you're settling in."

"Pretty much. Got everything I need, now I just need to organize it. I usually do the 'chaos' method of organization." She sighed and stood up. "It looks like something vomited my books everywhere."

"Everything else is in order though..." Mac looked around. A few flags hung on their respective poles in the corner, a Canadian flag, a Saskatchewan Flag and a Saskatchewan Roughriders flag, giving the room a pale green glow. Framed pictures adorned the walls. Mac looked at the first one and laughed. "When was this taken?"

Alex blushed and wiped her hands on her forest green skirt. "When Cody and I first met. His dad was really into photography at the time and accomplished to snap that picture. Both of us held onto it and when we met up again we both ended up having them." The picture had the two of them, obviously a lot younger, sitting on the boards of a hockey rink wearing their team uniforms, helmets on the ice. Alex's hair hung in light, obviously dyed, blonde curls, metallic piercing on her lip and eyebrow adding to the 'teenaged' appearance. Cody's hair was close cropped his face flush with excitement. They both had smiles on their faces.

"Piercings, Major?"

"Yeah, I kind of went through the 'rebelling against authority' phase." Her fair skin turned an unhealthy shade of red. "I got over it pretty quickly though."

"Apparently." Mac looked at the other photos on the wall. An extended family picture with everyone wearing green, a picture of Cody, Dante and Alex all wearing Washington Capitals jerseys…"Well, I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing and warn you about staff call in – "

"Seventeen minutes." Alex grinned. "Thanks Colonel. I want to star things off on the right foot, being on time is one of them."

--

"I would like to introduce everyone to our new trial lawyer, Major Alexandra Giannini of the Canadian Armed Forces. Commander Rabb, as everyone knows, has been transferred out to the Canadian Armed Forces National Defense Act. Major Giannini will be here to help lighten the load." AJ motioned to Alex who looked down at her hands and gave a shy smile. "So Major, tell us a bit about yourself."

"Well…as the Admiral said, I'm in the Canadian Armed forces, been a JAG stationed out of Ottawa Ontario for the past three years." Her voice was quiet leaving most of the table straining to hear her.

"Have you tried any big cases?" Lt. Singer asked, giving the young woman a sideways glance. "We do really big cases here at headquarters, since we are the protectors of the free world and all."

"I guess it depends on what you mean by big cases."

"Anything to do with 9/11?"

The room was silent, AJ allowing the two young women argue their stances. "Well, as you may or may not know Lieutenant, Canada has no jurisdictions on anything that happened in 9/11 unless the culprits were under Canadian soil. Though, I have been helping with the Omar Khadr case. You may have heard of it."

"Probably not, I don't really pay attention to small going ons like that, MAJOR." Lt. Singer replied with a smug look.

"Maybe you should, since he's being held in YOUR prison. He's been held there since 9/11 despite being 15 years old and a Canadian citizen." For the first time she looked up at the Lieutenant. "I've been working on that for the past year, along with a few smaller cases."

Mac bit the inside of her cheek to stop from laughing, looking at the look on the young lieutenant's face. Sturgis coughed loudly and Bud, poor Bud, looked like he had swallowed a tennis ball.

"Well, you two can finish up later. We have a few cases to go over. The Marterson case." AJ said with a smirk on his face. "Reckless operation of a vehicle. Roberts, you defend. Mattoni, you prosocute." He tossed the files at the two respective lawyers. "The Perez case. Young Lieutenant charged vehicular manslaughter, drunk driving. Giannini, I want you to prosecute this one, Colonel with you sitting second chair. Turner, Singer, you two defend."

The Lieutenant's eyes lit up. "Yes sir." She smiled at Alex who had gingerly picked up the file and slowly began to read through it. _"This."_ She thought, _"means war."_

--

Alex chewed on her pen and stared at the file on her desk. Loud music filled her ears from the headphones she had, her head bobbing to the music. A wall of books was built around her, hiding her from anyone who walked by, or in for that matter.

"Major. MAJOR!" Mac banged on her door and receiving no response stuck her head in. All she could see from behind the barricade was a head bobbing to music only the owner could hear. She waited a few seconds before Alex looked up and tore the headphones out and jumped to her feet.

"Sorry Colonel. I…didn't hear you come in."

"I see that." Mac smiled and motioned for her to sit down. "Just wanted to check up and see how it's going researching in the case."

"Not bad, just finishing talking with some witnesses. I should have my notes ready by tomorrow." Alex pushed aside a few books and smiled at Mac. "I have one question for you Colonel."

"Shoot."

"What crawled up Lieutenant Singer's butt, Ma'am?"

Mac burst out laughing, looking at the younger woman. "Know what Major? I ask myself that every single day."

--

He ran his hand absentmindedly through her hair, twirling a stubborn piece around his finger while he read through a rather large volume on Canadian politics. Mac sighed softly and read through some of Alex's notes on the Perez case. She let it fall to the ground with a loud thump. Harm folded the corner of the page over before shutting the book and pulling Mac father up onto his lap.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Came her voice, almost a whisper.

Harm placed a light kiss on her shoulder. "I'd like to think so. Why? Second thoughts?"

A long silence followed. "Do you see a future?"

He had to force back a laugh. "I always have. I was just too stupid to realise it. Why? Don't YOU see a future?"

Turning her gently so they looked eye to eye. "Don't you think you could do better than me?"

"No. There is no one better than you."

She shook her head. "No, listen to me. Someone who…doesn't have baggage. Someone who doesn't make you change your designator. You shouldn't have to settle."

He swallowed a smile. "Mac. Sarah. You, of all people, should know about MY baggage. And I'm not just changing my designator for you. I'm doing it for us. I've done it twice before and JAG means more to you than it does to me." He flashed her a grin. "Now can I get back to the heart stopping action of Canadian politics?"

Mac rolled her eyes. "Well, I had OTHER ides on how to spend tonight, but if you would rather spend it with Pierre Elliott Trudeau and the Charter of Rights and Freedoms."

The book hit the floor. "Mister Trudeau can wait until tomorrow.

--

"I'll stop by around noon, I have a meeting with Thom, but after that I think I'm back at JAG." Harm pulled into the parking lot and placed a kiss on Mac's lips.

"I'm going to be in court until 1230 with Alex, but after that I should be in my office." She returned the kiss, leaving him breathless before stepping out of the 'Vette and walking into JAG headquarters.

--

The smell of coffee wafted through the air. She knew it was too early for either Tiner or the Admiral to be in and she really should continue reading over the case notes and prep for today's court. But, the smell was too enticing.

Alex leaned against the counter, a mug in her hand.

"Morning Colonel." She grinned and pushed her bangs to the side.

"Good morning Major. You're in her early." Mac replied with a smile.

Alex shrugged. "Not really. I'm a morning person, I function the best before sunrise and keep running on caffeine." A look of concern crossed her face. "I made a pot of coffee. I'm not sure if I was supposed to, so I brought in my own blend." She pulled a bag out from under the counter. "Fair trade organic coffee from the mountains of Chiapas in Mexico…I can make another pot of the regular stuff if you want Colonel."

Mac eyed the dark steaming brew. "Would you mind if I gave it a try? It smells amazing."

"Go for it. But word of warning, Cody calls my coffee a cheap replacement for motor oil." She blushed and handed Mac a mug.

"Don't worry. Harm says mine can be used to power nuclear subs." Mac grinned and took a sip of the dark liquid. She revelled in the deep taste as it hit her tongue. Alex gave her a nervous look. "You know Major, I may have to kill you."

"Uh…why?" The coffee mug rested on the counter, replaced by Alex nervously rubbing her palms together.

"Now I have to buy this coffee. It's AMAZING." Mac smiled and took another swallow.

Alex picked up her mug and laughed. "I get a shipment every month from a friend in San Cristóbal de las Casas, I can ask him to throw in a few extra pounds."

Raising an eyebrow, Mac refilled her mug and turned to face the young Major. "How much does that run you?"

"'Bout twelve dollars for ten pounds." Alex had a grin that stretched ear to ear and she followed suit, taking a large swallow. "Now, I may be ready to face the day."

"Court?"

"Maybe not that ready."

--

"_What a bitch."_ Loren thought looking at the Canadian Major. _"She thinks she's so damn hot. She's like…a Colonel Mackenzie clone. Mini Mackenzie."_ She glared as the young woman walked by, a file under one arm, a giant mug of coffee in the other. And of course everyone loved her. She was that girl that moved and came into her 10th grade class. Perfect. Everyone loved her. Just like Major Giannini.

"Excuse me, have you seen Major Giannini?" A large, very good looking, young man asked, nervously playing with his visitor badge.

"I think she was meeting with Colonel Mackenzie. Can I help you with anything?"

The man shrugged. "Probably not. I'm supposed to meet with her." He pushed a lock of curly hair out of his eyes and gave her a small smile. Loren couldn't help but notice the man's long lashed blue eyes and broad chest.

"I'm Lieutenant Loren Singer." She gave him a wide grin and stuck her hand out.

"Cody Giannini." He said, his voice quiet. "I'll just wait for my wife."

"_Of course."_ Loren thought, watching the young man settle in a chair. _"Of course HE would be HER husband."_ She started to storm towards her office and ran into the Major. "I'm going to kick your ass in court tomorrow Major. Be ready for it, hoser."

Alex raised her eyebrow at the comment. "Bring it Lieutenant. I'll be waiting." She walked past and grabbed the hand of her completely confused husband.

"I'll be waiting." Loren mimicked slamming the door to her office.


	22. Chapter 22

Alex stood surveying the jury. It was time for her closing remarks. Mac gave her a small nod and Alex smiled. The Admiral, wanting to see what style of lawyer he hired sat in the back row. Thom, Harm and Cody all sat nearby.

"Ladies and gentlemen. To fully decide this case we must take a step back and take a look at the fundamental issue of this case. Intent. Lieutenant Perez knew full well that he was drunk. His teammates testified that he ADMITTED such. The rink manager testified that Lieutenant Perez had brought liquor into the rink. Let's not forget the testimony of Petty officer Tom Yip, who, Lieutenant Perez told that "It wasn't a big deal" and that he "drinks and drives all the time." Her voice dropped to almost a whisper and the speed slowed. "It IS a big deal. Ask Jim Laxdal." She stopped and looked at the defendant. "Wait. We can't. Because he's dead, thanks to the accused. Drinking and driving under NO circumstance can be accepted in today's society. Drinking and driving that causes a fatality? Ladies and gentlemen, is there a more irreprehensible act? We, the government, have proven that Lieutenant Perez INTENDED to get drunk and rive home, a decision with dire consequences. You, have the toughest decision to make. Keep in the back of your mind that tomorrow, you or someone you love, could be Jim Laxdal. The government rests."

The nervous tic was back.

--

"You did great."

Alex raised an eyebrow before scooping guacamole on a chip and raised it to her lips. "Thanks, but we'll have to see when the jury gets back."

Mac gave her a smile. "Don't worry, you nailed them in there."

"Yeah, eve **I **couldn't do better than that closing statement." Harm piped up with a cocky smile.

Cody gently squeezed the back of Alex's neck before getting up. "I'd better get going, but before I do, we're going to be having a house warming party on Saturday. We'd love it if you could make it. I'll write down the address and the time if you want."

"Sure." Harm had taken a liking to the young couple, as had Mac. "That would be great."

--

The warm sunlight streamed through the window, softly heating the small bedroom. Mac laid her head on Harm's chest, hearing his heartbeat under her ear. She knew well enough that they should get up, but she loved moments like this. Propping herself up on her elbow she allowed herself, for the first time really, to be in the moment. Soft fingers ran across his broad chest, a butterfly kiss placed on his collarbone. She knew so much about Harmon Rabb Jr, but there was so much left for her to learn about.

"Are you done?" Harm's voice, thick and husky with sleep brought her from her dreams.

"Pardon?"

He grinned at her, his tongue peaking out from behind his teeth. "Examining me."

A blush crept up and Mac smiled shyly. "Sorry, I thought you were asleep."

"Not that I'm bothered by it, but I just thought that if we were going to examine each other…we would be doing it together."

The blush grew brighter. He ran his fingertips over her cheeks. "It's okay. Take as much time as you need. I'll wait." Kissing her lips gently, he ran his hands through her hair. "I'll wait forever."

--

"What time is it?" Harm poked his head around the corner of the shower, sporting a shampoo Mohawk.

"1108." Mac said applying some mascara and examining herself in the mirror. "Cody said to arrive around 1300."

It was still unseasonably warm for late September, the temperature still hovering in the mid 80s.

"I told Alex that we'd pick up some ice and some canned pop." Harm called over the sound of the running water.

"Okay." Her voice had an edge to it that only happened when she was unsure or nervous about something. Shutting the water off and wrapping a towel around his waist he walked out of the washroom. Mac was sitting on the bed, her chin resting on the palm of her hand.

"You okay?" He sat beside her, frowning as she recoiled slightly from his touch.

"I'm not sure I want to go anymore." She sighed and motioned to her arm, that minus the cast, was still shrunk and weak compared to the other one.

"I know Sean and Marilyn would really like to see you, it's been a while hasn't it?" He asked softly.

"That's part of the problem." She shook her head. "Working with Alex…you see that the Christopher's…they're….perfect. They're just doing this because they pity me…and I covet everything they have." She looked up at Harm who gave her a soft look. "Part of me hates them. Hates Alex. The rest of me wants to BE them."

Harm turned her head so she faced him. "Mac. Sarah…everyone has flaws. No one is perfect."

"LOOK at Alex, Harm. Look at her resumé. She's twenty five for Christ's sakes. TWENTY FIVE. She's done more in her twenty-five years than I have in my 35. She has a husband, a family that loves and supports her. A good career…"

"And comfortable shoes?"

She shook her head. "Probably a closet full of them."

"Mac, you have a great career…and what I would consider a pretty good man, and I'll buy you as many pairs of shoes as you want. A closet full." He wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on her forehead. After a few minutes she pulled away slightly.

"You're right. I do have a good man. But, you're wet." She pushed him back on the bed. "Now we better start moving before we're late.

--

"You're SURE this is the right address?"

Harm looked at the handwritten note before checking the number on the front of the house. "Right house." He whistled impressively. The house looked like it came off a show home lot, including the cobblestone driveway. He parked the car on the street, taking Mac's hand and walking up the winding pathway. "We should get a house like this." He said pressing the doorbell.

"Like we could afford THIS."

"Sure we can…" He started before the door flew open.

Alex, her hair tamed by a hair wrap and wearing a pair of oversized army shorts and a white tanktop threw the door open.

"Hey guys! We're running a bit behind on this end. Dante got a hold of a bottle of chocolate syrup SOMEONE left out and made one helluva mess in the kitchen." She led them into the entrance and grabbed their coolers.

"I SAID I was sorry!" Cody called from somewhere in the house. "Who knew he knew how to climb?" He appeared holding a wet and squirming toddler.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Sorry about this. There are a few people outside already, but I have to tackle the kitchen first. Feel free to head out back if you want."

"I can help you if you need it." Mac offered.

"Oh man. That would be great." Alex exclaimed. "There's really not that much to finish. Just some cupboards and the fridge."

Harm grabbed Dante who tried to make a naked dash for the kitchen. "I can dress this little guy if you need to deal with the guests."

Cody's eyes lit up. "Are you serious?! Deal."

Harm tickled the little boy's belly before swinging him over his head. "Any specific outfit?"

"Anything that doesn't make him scream." Cody called over his shoulder.

--

"Who knew chocolate syrup was such a bitch to get off?" Alex said throwing her rag down the laundry cute.

Mac laughed. "Well, he did do a really good job."

Wiping her hands, Alex pulled at her now dirty shirt. "I'm going to head up and change, though I should probably check to see how Harm is doing with Dante."

"Mind if I tag along? Seeing Harm take on a toddler will be quite the sight." She laughed.

Alex led her up a set of spiralling stairs. "I'll just be a second. Dante's room is the one on the right." She ducked into what Mac knew was the master bedroom. Quietly she opened the door and watched Harm try to reason with the toddler. Dante stood wearing a pair of tiny jeans and tiny white shoes, but apparently didn't like any of the shirt choices Harm was giving him.

"Nooooooooooo!" He squealed as Harm showed him a shirt with a cartoon turtle on the front. His tiny hands reached in the air.

"Okay, no turtle. How about THIS shirt?" Harm held up a little green polo shirt.

Dante shook his head. "ockie!"

"Sorry buddy, I'm not sure what you're saying." He picked the toddler who threw his head back and screamed. "Why don't you show me?" Stepping into the closet. The little fists grabbed a blue shirt. "Sakic, hunh?"

"OCKIE!" Dante screeched waving the shirt above his head in triumph. "OCKIE OCKIE OCKIE OOOOOOOOOCKIE!"

"Oh, you wanted a HOCKEY shirt." Harm said placing him on the floor and pulling the shirt over his head. Dante stared at him before grabbing two small plastic hockey sticks from the floor.

"Ockie." He repeated waving the sticks.

Alex stuck her head in as Dante ran out of the room screaming and waving his sticks. "His new favourite word." She explained before heading her son off at the stairs.

"You did really well in there." Mac said, wrapping her arms around his waist. He placed a kiss on the top of her head.

--

"Admiral, we…didn't know you'd be here." Harm and Mac jumped apart like they had been burned.

AJ rolled his eyes. "You're officially not in my chain of command anymore Harm. And really, I've put up with you guys for too long pining after each other."

Harm grinned and wrapped his arms around Mac. A rush of pride and contentment ran through Harm, realising that this was the first time, in public, they were able to show their affection. He kissed her soundly on the lips and turned back to his now former CO.

"You're very proud of yourself, now aren't you, Commander?" AJ asked with a smirk.

Looking Mac up and down, from her white sandals to the blush on her face he grinned. "I am." He gave AJ a nod and wandered towards the grill with Mac firmly attached to his arm.

"How did you live with them when they were apart?" Thom asked sitting down and handing AJ a bottle of beer.

"I took a lot of Aspirin. Though, in retrospect, a lot of it is my fault. I told them not to get too close because they had to work together."

"So you knew it from the first day?"

"Damn right I did. Lot of good it did me too." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Took them this long to remove their heads from their respective sixes." Their eyes followed the young couple as they leaned against the deck, Harm holding Mac tight in his arms.

--

This is the last chapter that has been "prewritten". Apparently, my writing on the buses is quite horrendous. I spent more time attempting to decipher was I had written.

**To answer some questions from the reviews:**

**First of all, German is obviously one of the languages I don't know. Well, I can speak it much better than write it. Actually, I can't write it, so thanks for the translations. **

**Secondly, I grew up a little bit all over, Quebec, Ontario, Manitoba and finally Saskatchewan. I took school everywhere as well, ending up in Mexico. I currently live in the Queen City.**

**And lastly yes, every person from Canada should have a Riders flag. Or something with the Riders. I wear my Riders toque to work all the time even though my kids call them losers. **

**More on the party will be in the next chapter. Harm and Mac, their first time as a couple in public. The whole office arriving including Singer. And we may get to see some of Alex's famous temper…**

**Hold on ladies and gentlemen, we're in for a rough ride.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N – Yeah it took me longer than expected, but we had a few issues at work that I had to handle before I could get to work on this chapter. One more chapter or so of them at the staff BBQ, before a few chapters of just Harm and Mac time. Anyway, without further adieu…onto the chapter.**

**--**

"Hey Colonel!"

Mac spun around and saw Sean, teetering on a set of crutches making his way across the yard with a grin on his face.

"Sean!" She rushed towards the younger man and gave him a soft hug, making sure she didn't knock him over. "I can't believe that you're here!"

He gave her grin. "They couldn't KEEP me away! Actually, I promised the nurses that I wouldn't do anything stupid and I would come back. So how are you baby doll?" Looking around he caught Harm's eye and gave him a wobbly salute.

"Better."

"I'm glad." His dark eyes shone and he leaned heavily on the crutches. "You look happy. Guess being in love does that to a person, eh?"

A blush crept up on Mac and she smiled. "Is it that obvious?"

"Both of you. You guys are both grinning like a couple of morons. Cute morons, but morons none the less."

"Shut up Sean."

Straightening up slightly on his crutches he gave her a cocky grin. "Seriously. You two are so cute it's sick. Like, I look at you and I want to puke."

"Don't make me kick your crutches out from underneath you." Mac threatened feeling her face grow hotter. It wasn't THAT obvious, was it? She turned and looked over at Harm who was leaning against the grill. His eyes never left her, even though he was engrossed in another conversation.

"Yeah, you've got it bad." Sean said over his shoulder as he hobbled way. Mac barely even noticed.

--

"Nice place you've got." Harm remarked looking around the backyard.

"Thanks." Piling meat and veggie kabobs on the grill Cody gave him a small smile. "We usually don't go for anything extravagant, but we saw it and fell in love. Plus it has tons of room for a growing family."

"So you want more kids?" Cocking an eyebrow Harm caught a glimpse of Dante and little AJ who were playing "mini sticks" with a group of young men, who he could only imagine were some of his teammates.

"Eventually." He put the lid down of the grill and took a swallow of his drink. "What about you? Do you want a family?"

How many times had he asked himself the same question, always coming to the same conclusion? Yes, he wanted a family. And yes, he wanted Mac to be their mother. "Yes I do."

"Must be easier now that you guys can be together. Wait, you guys CAN be together now, right?" His blue eyes narrowed in confusion. "Sorry, I don't understand it all."

"Yeah, we can be together now. We're no longer in the same chain of command."

Cody's face lit up. "Oh great. Because you guys look good together." He grabbed one of the young men as he ran by. "Hey Brookesie, watch the grill." Nodding towards an empty table they wandered over and sat down. "So have you thought about marriage?"

"Every day." Harm admitted. "But, I'm not going to push the issues. Mac is still…"

"Adjusting?" The sound of Cody's voice screamed _I understand_. "Lexi is the same way right now. Sometimes I think that it's the old Lexi. Laughing, smiling…then…" His voice trailed off.

"Yeah. I understand." He gave the young man a smile. "It gets better, or so I've been told."

"I don't know how you guys do it. Don't think I'm ungrateful, hell, I think you guys should be having parades every time you come home, but man. I can't even begin to imagine."

Harm shrugged. "Just something you get used to I guess. I've known no other life." He watched as he saw Mac, Alex and Harriet moving plates onto the tables, all with smiles on their faces. "Though, I have to say I envy you Cody. You've got it all, man."

Following Harm's gaze, Cody smiled. "Pretty damn close."

--

"This looks amazing Ma'am. Thanks again for inviting us." Harriet said with a smile, placing the last dish on the table.

"It's Alex, and you're welcome." Alex wiped her hands on the front of her shorts and gave the table one last look over. "That should do it." She herded the group of young men and two small children away from the table, before a loud clearing of the throat caused her to spin around. "Bren! When did you get here?" Lunging herself on the young man.

"Mom just picked me up from the airport." He brushed his hair out of his eyes and gave a grin that rivalled Harm's for its effect on women. "I'm Brendan Christopher, but most people just call me BJ."

"Sarah Mackenzie." She shook his hand and smiled.

"Harriet Sims."

Flashing his grin again revealing, what seemed to be a genetic trait, a pair of deep-set dimples. "Nice to meet the two of you. Do you work with my sister?"

"We do. I'm actually the office manager at JAG and the Col – Mac, is the chief of staff." Harriet said smiling fondly at the teen.

"Office manager…does that mean you have to clean my sister's office…?" His blue eyes twinkled. "OUCH! Alex…" He whined dragging her name out. "Your office is always a mess. It's like a bomb went off in there!"

She punched him hard in the ribs. "Get out of here. Go harass someone else."

"I just got here big sis." He batted his long eyelashes at her and draped his arm over her shoulders. "I thought you wanted to visit with me."

"I forgot how big of a pain you are." She replied trying to squirm out from under his arm.

Turning back to the two women he gave another smile. "I'm sorry ladies, I hate it when she gets like this."

"Brendan James Christopher."

He turned and sheepishly dropped his arm. "Moooooom. I was just teasing her."

"Go harass someone else, preferably your brother or your father…Dante. He's your intellectual equal." Marilyn pushed her taller son away with a smile. "Go."

"Aye mom." Giving the women a salute matched with a cocky grin, he trotted off towards where his brother was standing.

Alex ran her hands through her hair, trying to untangle the curls. She rolled her eyes and finally gave up, wrapping bandana around her now out of control hair. "Thanks mom."

"Well, I brought him into the world. I can just as easily take him out of it." Marilyn replied handing a brush to her daughter. "Brush your hair. Sarah dear, how are you?" She gave Mac a tight squeeze.

"I'm doing okay Marilyn." She smiled at the older woman. "This is my friend Harriet Sims. Harriet, this is Marilyn Christopher."

"Nice to meet you Ma'am." Harriet gave Marilyn a smile.

"Very nice to meet you too Harriet, but you can call me Marilyn. And I apologize for my children. They get older…but they never grow up." Looking over to where her sons were having a sword fight with Sean's crutches she shook her head. "Case and point."

"I think that might be all men." Harriet countered as she watched as Harm, Bud, Cody and a few other men circled around them cheering.

"It is all men."

--

"Would you like a drink?"

Singer looked up at the tall man blocking the sun. "Um…"

"We have lots of different types in the coolers." He sat down and looked over at her. "I'm Sean."

"Loren."

He passed her a beer out of the cooler. "Nice to meet you Loren. So, what is a pretty girl like you doing hiding in the corner?"

"I'm a woman, not a girl. And I'm not hiding, I just don't mingle well." Looking the young man up and down she shook her head. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking?"

"Nope, I'm 22." He grinned. "So, do you know my sister or my brother in law?"

"YOU'RE Major Gianinni's brother?"

"Yes, Master Corporal Sean Christopher. Guess you work with my sister."

She rolled her eyes slightly and took a swallow of the beer. "Yeah, real piece of work." Loren mumbled under the breath. Clearing her throat she smiled at the boy. "I do work with her. How's the war wounds?"

He shrugged. "I'll survive. Nice outfit." A blush crept up from his neck.

"Thanks." Loren looked the young man over, his short cropped hair, his large almond shaped brown eyes, his broad shoulder...he was young but still easy on the eyes. "So what's in store for you once you're healthy?"

"Going back to school, take engineering. Hopefully pass my physical and stay in the military." He sighed and watched the people in the yard. "Pretty big group."

"Yeah, your sister has lots of friends."

"That's Alex for you. You either love her or you hate her." He pulled himself up on his crutches and stared at her. "Food's almost ready. Care to join me...Loren?"

She looked over at Alex who was laughing heartily with the Admiral and the Colonel. "Sure I'll join you, Sean."

--

Thom stood at the front of the table and cleared his throat loudly. "Before we all start eating, I would like to say a short prayer…"

"Bless this food, bless this meat, good God let's eat!" Sean shouted from the corner. Everyone laughed until Marilyn gave him a backhand across the back of his head.

Bowing his head Thom waited until everyone calmed down. "Lord, I just want to thank you for the friends and family gathered around this table prepared to eat this amazing meal that was so lovingly prepared. Thank you for being with us every step of the way showing us your love you have for us. Amen."

AJ raised his beer. "I would to toast to Alexandra and Cody Gianinni for hosting such a great BBQ, to Thom Christopher who helped me find a solution to the problem of two of my people and to Harm and Mac. Two of the best people I know who finally be together. To new beginnings."

"New beginnings." They chorused.

--

Harm cleared the remaining plates into the garbage bin and grabbed his beer off the table. He pulled the bench out from under the table and sat down on it, pulling Mac onto his lap.

"How're you?"

She leaned against him, tilting her head up smiling. "Good. How're you?"

"I'm surrounded by friends and have the love of my life sitting on my lap, how do you think I am?" He kissed her shoulder. They watched the people mingle when a loud cry caught their attention.

"No, I don't WANT anything, thank you." Alex frowned and shook her head. "I don't drink."

"Come on, it's your party, have a drink." The young man passed her a drink dark with coke. "I hear you were quite the partier in college, just one drink."

"I said no." She put the drink down, her hands shaking.

"Why not, Major? He's right, it's your party, have a drink." Loren walked over from where she was chatting with Sean. "I can pour you one."

"No thank you Lieutenant, I don't want a drink." She wiped her sweaty hands on her shorts, swallowing the saliva that was pooling in her mouth. The thick smell of rye whiskey filled her nose, the feeling of longing filled her body.

"Why not Alex?" Loren cocked her head to the side, examining the young woman's reaction. "One won't kill you. Or is it that you don't want to fall off the wagon?" She sneered. "You're an alcoholic aren't you? Does the Admiral know he hired a drunk?"

Alex glared at them, her blue eyes darkening to coal black, her eyebrows knit tight in the middle of her forehead. Her jaw clenched so hard it ached.

"Not so great are you now?" Loren shook her head with a disgusted look. "Drunk."

Her feet flew so fast small pieces of the newly laid sod flew up. The door slammed, rattling the windows, echoing in the now silent backyard.

"I'll go talk to her." Cody mumbled, passing his son off to his mother-in-law.

"Cody, you stay here, I'll go check on her." Mac said softly, untangling herself from Harm's arms. "Trust me."

He sighed and looked over at Harm who nodded. "Let her deal with Alex."

Mac walked into the house, following the sound of loud swears and hitting. The basement was partially finished, a big screen tv, couch and bar settled in one corner, washing machine and dryer in the other. In the far corner, a punching bag that was swinging wildly out of control, Alex, even farther out of control attacking it with wild rage. She stood back and watched as the young woman gave the bag a strong uppercut and turned to her.

"What, you came her to ask how? How can someone like ME become an alcoholic?" She spit out, wiping her bleeding hands on a towel hanging on the wall. "How can someone so perfect like Alexandra become a fucking drunk?" Tears streamed down her face. "Say it. Say it! I'm a fucking drunk."

Mac watched silently until the young woman calmed down. "How long?"

"How long WHAT?"

"How long have you been sober?" Mac asked softly, taking a few steps towards Alex.

Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, smearing the blood, she frowned. "Why do you care?"

Pulling a ten year sobriety coin out of her pocket, Mac silently passed it to her, waiting for her to take it in before speaking. "That's why I care."

"YOU'RE an alcoholic?"

"Yes." Putting her arm around the younger woman she led her upstairs. "Let's get you cleaned up and we can talk. Where do you keep your first aid stuff."

"Washroom." Alex mumbled, holding the coin in her hand, allowing herself to be lead up the stairs. "Does Harm know?"

Pushing her down on the toilet seat Mac rummaged through the medicine cabinet. "Yes. He doesn't think any less of me for it." She dabbed some peroxide on Alex's knuckles before pulling out some bandages. "Does Cody know?"

"Yeah. He helped me through it. And…to answer your question…I've been sober for 3 years and 28 days. Last time I was drunk was before he proposed." She shrugged and flexed her hands. "I couldn't put Cody through living with a drunk. When he proposed, I checked into a rehab centre." Sighing she looked up at Mac. "I didn't mean to become an alcoholic, you know. There was just so much stress. Law school, playing hockey…being perfect. That was the only thing I could control. Being out of control…It sounds stupid, I know…"

"But I completely understand." Mac wrapped the young woman up in a hug. "Let's go back outside and be social."

"You're sure the Admiral won't be mad?"

"Nah, he's a big softie." Mac smiled leading her out.


	24. Chapter 24

He could feel the temper boiling from the pit of his stomach. It was notorious in his group of friends and amongst his family, usually ending in a large blowup. His blue eyes searched the group for comfort before settling on his hands. They twisted and wrung nervously, his eyes flicking between his lap and the shut door.

"Mommy gone bye bye?"

Cody looked down and scooped up his son who was tugging on his pant leg. "Mommy just went inside for a bit, she'll be back." He rubbed his son's dark curls and placed him on his lap.

"Oh." Dante looked around before looking at Harm and grinning. He reached his chubby hands up in the air smiling at Harm. "Up up up up up! Me go up! Make aiwplane!"

Harm chuckled and grabbed the young boy around his waist and spun him around until the little boy's giggles turned into hiccups. "Doooooooooooooown!" Dante squealed. He stumbled around until he fell on his diapered backside, lying on his back looking up at the sky. "Fun!"

The sound of footsteps caused him to roll over towards the house. "MOMMY!" He cried crawling towards the deck.

Alex squatted and picked up Dante. "Hey buddy."

"Mommy BACK!" He grinned and placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

The three of them walked towards everyone was seated. Mac nudged Harm over so she could sit on his lap. Alex placed Dante on the ground where he immediately toddled off in search of his partner in crime, little AJ. She sat beside Cody who gave her a weak smile. He grabbed her hand and examined the bandage job on her hands.

"Alex..."

"I'm over it." She replied quickly pulling her hand away quickly.

He cocked an eyebrow but didn't say anything, knowing full well she wouldn't talk about it around their friends and family. BJ broke the silence, throwing a marshmallow at Cody.

"Buddy, do you still have your guitars?"

"Yeah, they're in the den, why?"

BJ shrugged, tucking his hair under a black knit brimmed toque. "This party could use some music." He replied with a smile heading towards the house. A few minutes later he reappeared carrying two guitars. "Code, can you grab the other?"

Cody rolled his eyes but got up and retrieved said instrument. "What are you thinking of playing?" He threw the guitar over his shoulder and played a few chords.

"Iunno. Anyone else play?" BJ strummed a tune, pulling a pick out of the case. "Know Sean can't, he's tone deaf. Commander?" He nodded towards Harm who was eyeing up the guitar case.

"A bit." He picked up the guitar and admired it. "Nice."

Grinning Cody adjusted a string. "Thanks. So kiddo," he turned to BJ, "what're we going to play?"

"Something that the old man would know." He replied giving a grin to Harm who just shook his head. "How 'bout 'Let It Be' by the Beatles." Playing a few chords he waited until the other two men got the melody and they played, harmonizing the music.

Mac smiled. Harm looked so at home, playing music a smile on his face. Each a little bit different, she thought, but the three men were very similar. Strong, proud, stubborn...all of them. They finished the song and moved onto another one, this one a faster and more upbeat. After a while Cody and Harm put the guitars down and watched BJ play.

"You're pretty good kid." Harm said, moving Mac onto his lap.

"You're not so bad yourself old man." The teen replied laughing. "Hey Alex, pick up a guitar." He began strumming another song waiting for his sister to grab one of the abandoned instruments. "Wanna play 'How Can I Stop From Singing'?"

Cody looked over at his wife who flexed her hands. "You don't have to…I can play it."

"Nah, my hands don't hurt that badly." She smiled and picked up the instrument. After a few tentative strums she nodded. "Let's do some warmup."

AJ leaned over to Thom and Marilyn who were leaning back, taking in the scene. "This usual for your family?"

Marilyn chuckled. "Oh yes. Family jam sessions are totally normal. All three kids were in music, though BJ and Alex are really the only two who got any talent. And if you listened to Alex, she'll tell you it's only BJ with talent."

Clearing his throat, Thom gave AJ a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry about…what happened."

"Don't worry, we're a family at JAG. I'll be sure to talk to the Lieutenant." AJ replied tersely and looked over at Singer who was still busy chatting with Sean.

The music started to play, both singing softly. Their voices until they reached the bridge of the song, where either on purpose or by accident, Alex's voice came through clearer than before.

"_I can sing in the troubled times  
Sing when I win  
I can sing when I lose my step  
And fall down again  
I can sing 'cause You pick me up  
Sing 'cause You're there  
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord  
When I call to You in prayer  
I can sing with my last breath  
Sing for I know  
That I'll sing with the angels  
And the saints around the throne"_ They finished up the song, Alex placing the guitar to the side and sat back down where she was sitting.

"You guys are amazing!" Harriet exclaimed.

BJ grinned. "Thanks Ma'am." He kept strumming some chords and humming the melody.

Little AJ and Dante wandered up, sitting down at their parents' feet. Bud dipped down and picked up his drowsy son. "Ready to head home?"

"Yes." He yawned, leaning his head against his shoulder.

"We're going to have to leave and put this guy to bed. Thanks for inviting us."

Dante yawned loudly and laid down on the grass.

"We should get this little guy to bed too." Alex said with a smile. "Guess that puts an end to the party."

AJ stood up. "No problem Major. It was nice to get out."

Everyone streamed out of the backyard, Alex heading into the house with Dante. Cody stuck his arm out and caught Loren before she got to everyone else. The rage boiled through him and he glared at the woman.

"Stay away from my family." He whispered harshly.

She gave him a small smile and waited until Sean caught up. "So Sean, do you want to go out for a drink? I can drop you off at Bethesda afterwards…" She called towards the young man hobbling out of the yard.

--

"That was fun."

Mac sat silently in the car. "Harm, what did you think of me when you found out that I was an alcoholic?" She asked quietly.

"Um…well…you told me the first day we met. I thought that you were a strong person to come out and say that you were an alcoholic and that you were sober. What brought this up?"

"Did you think of me as a drunk?"

"What!? No, Mac, what brought this on? I've never thought any less of you, nor will I ever think any less of you." He stared out the windshield, stealing glances at her whenever the traffic lightened up. "Is this about Alex?"

"Yeah, she was just so upset and ashamed. It just made me think of when people find out that I'm an alcoholic." She shrugged.

He parked on the side of her street and turned off the engine. "Mac, I just want you to know that I will support you no matter what. I'm here for you."

She leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I know. Let's go inside."

They made their way into her apartment, hand in hand. "I love you Harm." She whispered, pressing her hands against his chest once the door was securely closed. On tiptoes she gently pressed her lips against his, her tongue asking for permission to enter. Always competitive their tongues duelled, each fighting for supremacy, neither ever winning. Separating because of the lack of oxygen they stared at each other, lips swollen, chests heaving, faces flushed.

"Mac…we don't…have to…" He mumbled against her hair.

"I want to…I'm ready." Her voice was soft and thick with lust.

--

He drew patterns on her slick skin, waiting for his breathing to return to normal. "That was…wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

They sat in silence, not an uncomfortable silence, but a silence of people who were so comfortable with each other they can communicate without words.

"That, was worth waiting for."

She giggled. "Yeah, it was."

The silence enveloped them, thick and sticky, welcoming in sleep. Moonlight, soft and heavy followed soon after, filling the small room. The silence and moonlight played games, each flickering in and out, like they were teasing each other. Finally, a car passed on the road. The silence retreated. Their breathing evened out, fingers entwined, bodies fitting together like human pieces of God's jigsaw puzzle. He pulled her closer, arm resting possessively on her stomach, holding her tight. Her hands held him close to her.

The moon won, blanketing them with silver glow. For the first night, neither of them woke up.


	25. Chapter 25

The sunlight streamed through the window, reflecting blues, yellows and reds on their skin. His arm was wrapped around her waist tightly, holding her, protecting her against unseen demons. Their fingers were intertwined, his hand overlapping her smaller one. Mac woke first, blinking at the sun that was so rudely invading her bedroom through the open curtains. She knew that they should be getting up as it inched closer to 0800. Slowly she tried to escape from Harm's grasp, but his grip held tight.

"Harm..." She tried to turn to face him but his arm was in the way. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. Hell, she dreamt of waking up in his arms time and time again. But, truth be told, she had to pee and he was blocking her way.

"Harm." She repeated louder. When that didn't work she elbowed him in the chest He grunted and released her.

"What was that for?" Opening his eyes and staring at her he glared as she turned around to face him.

"I have to pee and you wouldn't let me go." She placed a quick kiss on his nose before scrambling out of bed, taking the bedsheet along with her to cover herself.

"You don't need the sheet!" Harm called after her, laughing to himself. "And you don't need to shut the door anymore."

The washroom door opened and a roll of toilet paper flew through the air and landed near his head. "Quiet you." Mac called as he heard the toilet flush and the sink start to run. She returned with the sheet wrapped around her body.

"You should come back to bed." Harm said, rolling over and making room for her on the bed.

"Harm, it's 0815. We should get up and do something." Mac lamented.

He hid his head under the pillow and moaned. "Do we have to?" He only reemerged when he heard the water running in the shower. Running his hands through his already messed up hair, he finally decided to get up. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a plain black tshirt and padded out into the kitchen. Cracking eggs, stirring batter, making coffee, he was in his zen zone.

Mac emerged from the shower , clean and dressed. "Whatever you're cooking Flyboy, it smells delicious." She poured herself a cup of coffee and watched him work. He piled the pancakes high on a plate and passed them to her.

"Breakfast Madame?" He winked and handed her a bottle of syrup.

A grin crossed Mac's face. "Blueberry pancakes? My favourite!"

"I know. I'm going to hop in the shower while you eat." He stole a pancake and unceremoniously shoved it into his mouth. Mac smiled and watched as he went into her bedroom. She read the paper and finished off a few pancakes before he returned.

"So, what do you want to do today?" He asked buttoning up his jeans and smoothing his blue button down shirt.

"Whatever you want to do." Mac rinsed off her plate and set it in the sink.

"How does the National Arboretum sound? We can go and wander around the gardens…grab a bite to eat later." He gave her a soft smile.

"Sounds great." Mac gave him a tender kiss on the lips.

--

He couldn't be prouder when men in the gardens turned and looked at Mac. She was wearing a simple pair of jeans, a collared tshirt and a sweater, but she still looked stunning. And she was all his.

"What are you smiling at?" Mac nudged him in the ribs gently.

"You." His grin reached ear to ear. "The fact that all the guys here are looking at you, but you're mine. Finally mine." He squeezed her hand He kissed her knuckles.

Mac blushed and held his hand tightly. She didn't care if women looked at him because she knew that he was coming home with her. The weather was cooling down at a rapid rate, reminding everyone that it was indeed fall.

"Want to slip in and grab a cup of coffee to warm up?" He started to drag her towards a small coffee shop on the outside of the Arboretum. They walked quickly, the wind biting at their faces, blowing the falling leaves around their feet. The coffee shop was only about a block away, but by the time they got there, they were both feeling the like they had waded through the Artic Ocean.

"I can't believe how cold it is!" Mac exclaimed blowing into her hands, trying to warm them up. "Yesterday we were wearing shorts…today it's parka weather."

Harm laughed. "You'd think we'd be accustomed to it by this point." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, reading the menu over her shoulder. "What are you getting?"

"Mayan chocolate hot chocolate." Mac smiled up at him. "Extra large?"

"An extra large Mayan chocolate hot chocolate and a Soy Chai tea latte." Harm ordered, handing his money to the cashier.

They waited until their drinks appeared on the other counter and walked hand in hand to the table.

"This is good." Mac said with a dreamy smile. "How's yours?"

"Really good." He passed it over to her. "Want to try?"

"Soy? No thanks."

"It's really good Mac."

She cocked an eyebrow and shook her head. "Not in this lifetime."

They watched out the window as young couples walked by hand in hand, young families chasing speedy children and elderly couples taking their time enjoying nothing more than each other's company. Then a familiar face stuck out.

"Hey, there's Alex and Cody." Harm tapped on the glass and waved. The young couple stopped and waved back. They conversed rapidly, hands flying before entering the small shoppe.

"Hi guys." Mac waved them over to their table.

Alex scooped Dante up out of his stroller and brought him to the table. "Hey. Say 'Hi' Dante."

The boy looked at the two of them and smiled. "Hi."

Cody pulled two chairs over and held it out as his wife sat down on it and then pushed it in closer to the table. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Just taking in the sights…" Harm said, moving closer to Mac, giving them some more room.

"And warming up…" Interjected Mac. She shook her head at Alex who was wearing nothing more than a light zipup over a tshirt. "Speaking of which, aren't you freezing?"

"Canadian, remember?" Alex smiled pulled her knitted wool toque off her head to reveal her dark hair touching her shoulders. She brushed it out of her face. "There's a reason I leave my hair curly, it stays within regs."

Harm rolled his eyes and turned to Cody. "So what are you guys doing here?"

"Just wandering. We're still tourists here, so we thought we'd go for a bit of a walk. Take the Devil Child here for some fresh air." He laid some toys on the table for Dante to play with.

"Debil! DEBIL!" He squealed laughing.

"Yes, that's you. A devil."

Alex punched her husband in the shoulder. "Don't say that! You know how he mimics things!"

Harm and Cody exchanged glances before bursting out laughing. "Women." Cody lamented.

"Weemin." Dante repeated laughing. He looked at his mother and Mac and sighed deeply. "Weemin."

"Now look what you did." Alex said throwing a napkin in their direction.

Dante looked at his mother with a frown on his face before scratching his head. "Damn weemin."

--

Alex and Mac walked farther up, helping Dante along the crowded streets, while Harm and Cody stayed back.

"One of these times, we'll have to go out for drinks." Cody said with a smile as Mac and Alex swung Dante along, the boy giggling.

"Sure, unless Thom decides to work me to the bone."

Cody laughed and pulled his sweater up around his neck. "If he gives you any trouble…send him my way." The young man's face broke into a good-natured grin. "Anytime that you want tickets to the game, give me a shout. If you and Mr. Roberts want to come, I can get some box seats." He blushed, the colour disappearing into his dark curly afro. "It's tough finding people to hang out with who aren't partiers when you do what I do."

"I'd love to go."

They chatted, watching the loves of their lives swing the small boy between their arms.

"Ready to head back to work?" Mac asked, swinging Dante over some cracks in the sidewalk.

"Get back to work, yes. See Lieutenant jerkface, no."

"JERKFACE!" Dante squealed looking at his mom. "Jerkface! Jerkface! JERKFACE!"

"Awww crap. Now he's going to be repeating that for days on end." Alex moaned as her son started laughing.

"Crap! Crap crap crap!"

Mac burst out laughing seeing the young woman fight to keep her composure. "Just stop talking."

"You're telling me." Alex shook her head at her son who looked up them and laughed.

"Stop TALKING!" He grinned and looked up at Mac for approval. She just shook her head trying not to laugh. A park caught his eye. "SWIIIIIIIIIIIINGS! Me go! Swings!" He struggled against their grip. "SWING!"

"Ask Daddy if you can go to the park." Alex said, releasing his hand. Dante tore off, wrapping his arms around Cody's legs.

"SWING! Please? Please?" He stuck his lower lip out and his eyes filled with tears.

"Okay, we'll take you to the swings."

They crossed the busy street, releasing Dante the second they reached the grass. He ran towards the swings and grabbed the first one, pulling himself up on it. "SWING!" Screaming, kicking his legs trying to propel himself somewhere. "Swing damn it!"

Harm put his arm around Mac as they laughed at the little boy's actions. Cody finally relented and pushed him. Alex sat on the swing next to them, swinging slightly.

Mac sighed watching the young family, Cody smiling as Dante as the young boy leaned back in the swing, Alex watching with a look of pride on her face. She wanted that. She wanted all of it. The ups, the downs, and everything in between. She wanted the mimicking, the laughter, the cries, fixing scraped knees, taping first steps. Furthermore, she wanted it with him. Her body, mind, soul ached for it.

Harm felt Mac stiffen in his arms as she watched Dante stop the swing and run into his father's arms. He sighed to himself as Cody pulled Dante's jacket down and adjusted the boy's little black brimmed toque. Alex knelt down and helped Dante put his little hands in a pair of fuzzy red mitts. He couldn't count the number of times he imagined a scene like that. Helping his son tie his shoes, Mac dressing their daughter. He gave Mac a sad smile and wrapped her up in his arms. She allowed herself to get lost in his embrace as Dante took off, running towards them.

"We should get going." Alex apologised as Cody tracked down his son and held him upside down. "I'll see you at work tomorrow Colonel."

"Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeern-nal!" Dante squealed.

Cody gave Harm a wave. "We're on a four game home swing, so anytime that you're up for coming to a game, give me a shout."

"Gooooo Cap-i-TALLS!" The upside down boy giggled.

Alex rolled her eyes. "See you later guys."

--

"Why so quiet?"

Mac looked up from her dinner and shrugged. "Nothing really, I was just thinking."

"Penny for your thoughts?" The small copper coin rolled across the table. She looked into his eyes and ran her finger across the coin.

"Just thinking about today. Alex. Cody. Dante. Harriet. Bud. Little AJ. Them having families, having each other." She shrugged. "It just makes me think about all I'm missing."

"Hey...don't think like that." He went around the table and sat beside her. "We have each other, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"We'll see how things go." He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

--

"That was fun." Sean hobbled along, taking in the lights and sounds of the city.

"It certainly was." Loren replied. "Want to stop for a drink, rest your leg?"

He shrugged. "Sure, we can do that." They walked into the nearest pub, Sean grabbing a booth so he could stick his leg out into the room. The waitress walked by, wearing a short plaid skirt. "What can I get you guys?"

"Umm...I'll have a pint of whatever lager you have on tap." Sean said throwing a smile at the waitress.

"Just a bottle of something domestic for me." Loren replied nodding at the waitress.

"Coming right up." The waitress smiled at Sean. "What did you do to your leg?"

"Got injured in Afghanistan." He shrugged. "Just saving the free world, all that stuff." His grin went ear to ear.

"Wow, a real war hero!" The young woman gushed before catching Loren's scathing look. "I'll go get your drinks."

"She likes you." Loren said with a headshake.

"I don't know, but I prefer my women a bit older...more mature...more cultured." His eyes twinkled.

"Are you calling me OLD?"

"Older than me."

"Well that's because you're still a kid." Loren said with a grin. "But a cute kid."

Sean beamed. "I guess I can agree with that." He took a swallow of his beer and gave her a grin. "I wish I didn't have to go back to the hospital...Hey, do you like hockey?"

Loren's eyes narrowed. "Only sport where fighting is legal? Course I like it! Why?"

"My brother in law plays for the Caps, I was thinking maybe of asking you to go to a game with me."

"Are you asking me out on a date, Master Corporal?"

"Only if you say yes. If you say no, this never happened." He laughed looking at her hopefully.

Loren thought about it for a second before smiling at him. "Just name the date."


	26. Chapter 26

AN – I'm so sorry for the delay in the chapter. There has been lots going on in my family recently and I haven't found anytime to sit down and do any writing. My dad was up in Cold Lake Alberta (CFB) doing some work there and was actually there during Hockey Day in Canada. If anyone watched that, he was playing against the Flames alumni. My mother has recently been promoted to head of the Ped's unit at the hospital at home, so she has been busy. My one brother was admitted into an outpatient program for soldiers suffering from PSTD, he is also taking classes at RMC in Kingston. The youngest is plunking along playing Jr. A hockey, going to an NCCA college next year. As for me? Work, work and more work. I'm coaching a team of 40 students and our provincials are coming up in March. I hope to be a bit more consistent in the next few chapters, but as always, I can't guarantee anything. I'm on the road all this weekend, so again, I am not too sure there.

**Again, mistakes are all mine and as usual, go easy on me. I'm fighting my English at the moment, as I've been translating a 55 page report from Spanish and then one in Portuguese. **

**Thanks again. **

"So how was work?" Harm called into the apartment, his arms full of groceries and his dry-cleaned uniform.

Mac stuck her head out of the bedroom and rolled her eyes. "Only had to defuse two incidents today. That being said, is a good day."

"Singer and Alex?"

"Oh yeah. Got out of a meeting with my client and they were standing nose to nose ready to throw punches. They're against each other on a case, again, and both of them are calling for blood." Mac sighed and bodychecked her closet door to close it. "That was only the first one. Then Singer delivered her stack of potential witnesses and I believe Alex shut her office door in her face and Singer held up the old mantra of 'swearing like a sailor.'" She shook her head. "Those two are going to come together, at ten paces none the less."

"Oh it will be fine." Harm wrapped his arms around her waist as she left her room. "You and the Admiral should be able to handle them." He looked towards his discarded uniform. "Is there any room in your closet for this?"

"Harm…there's no room for ANYTHING anymore." She sighed and turned in his arms. "Harm, we have to talk."

Those five words struck fear into his heart. He stopped and pulled her to the couch. "W-we need to t-talk?" For a lawyer his verbal skills seemed about as strong as wet toilet paper. "B-but Mac…I thought…I mean…e-everthing is g-going so…well." His blue eyes didn't veil the panic he felt.

Mac gave him a small smile. "Harm…I want to talk to you about this. The apartment situation. There's not enough room for one person's stuff in here, let alone TWO people's." She felt him relax against her.

"You had me scared there, Marine." He took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves and shaking hands. "I thought you were breaking up with me." A deep blush rose from his collar.

She took his hands between hers and held them. "Harm, I'm not breaking up with you…but SOMETHING has to be done. I can't even get my clothes out of my closet!"

"And I can't get mine in."

"So we're at a stalemate. At least with my closet."

"My place is smaller than yours."

They stared at each other, neither knowing where the other wanted to go, no one wanting to make the first move.

"So…"

"So…" She looked around her apartment and then back at Harm. "What's our next move?"

"I think that's exactly it. We move. We move in together." A grin crossed her face. "What do you think?"

His grin matched hers. "I think we should start looking as soon as possible!"

--

"Major?"

Alex looked up over her grey and red rimmed glasses and smiled. "Colonel. Come in and grab a seat."

Shutting the door behind her, she took the chair nearest Alex's desk. "May I ask you a question?"

"I swear. I didn't DO anything to Singer!"

Mac laughed. "No Major, it's nothing about that. And really, I don't want to know. Harm and I were talking last night…and we're looking for a house. Who did you use as a reality agent?"

"Umm…I'm not too sure. Cody was down here before and he dealt with the agent, but he's coming for lunch and you can ask him." She brushed a stray lock off her face and smiled. "Big move, hunh?"

Chewing on her thumbnail Mac nodded. "Yeah, it's big." She looked up and smiled. "Harm's coming over for lunch too, maybe we can talk things out."

"Sure. I just have a couple of files to look over. What time is the Commander coming over?"

"1230. Cody?"

"About the same. I think he may be brining Dante and then dropping him off with my mom. He has practice and we haven't found a daycare yet." She smiled apologetically. "Sorry. Last detail we're trying to iron out."

"No, it's okay. Did you guys have a place figured out?"

"I think Cody had said something about 'The Green Spot Café'." She shrugged. "He said it was close by the office."

"It is close by. But you better like your greens?"

"Ma'am?" Alex cocked her head to the head looking thoroughly confused.

"It's a vegetarian café. You aren't vegetarian?"

Alex's face darkened. "No, I'm not." She shook her head, her curls bobbing around. "We rotate turns choosing restaurants and he always grabs the extremely healthy ones. Just to piss me off. He's quite good at it."

"Harm does it to make me eat better."

They shared a smile before Mac stood up to leave. "How about I come by, say 1215 and we walk to the Green Spot Café?"

"Sounds great Ma'am." Alex said opening up her file and replacing the pen in her mouth.

--

"Imagine meeting you here."

Cody looked up from the airplane he was building out of Lego blocks and smiled. "Commander, imagine that. I'm meeting Alex here for lunch. Have a seat."

"MANDER!!!!!" Dante clapped his hands and grinned. "PLANE!"

Harm pulled a chair up to the table and sat down. "I see that you have a plane." He added a few pieces to the plane and smiled. "Mac called and asked to meet me here, which is weird, because she hates anything healthy."

"Alex too, but it was my turn to pick the restaurant." Looking at his watch, he searched the outside. "Not like her to be late though."

"Probably held up at work. Mac is never late either, but she has…"

"2 minutes and 17 seconds." Mac replied coming up behind them and smiling. Alex sat beside Cody and gave him a smile.

"Do you still have the card of the realty agent we used?" Alex grabbed a piece of Lego before it found it's way to Dante's mouth.

"I think so, why? Looking to move out on me already?" Cody gave her a grin.

"You wish, you're stuck with me. No, the Colonel had asked me for it." She smiled towards Mac who nodded.

"Yeah, we were…thinking about looking for a place. And we're really not sure where to start." Mac pulled a menu out of the serviette holder. "Okay, what is 'ham substitute?'"

"Something made out of soy."

Mac wrinkled her nose up and looked through the menu. "Is there ANYTHING on here that isn't made out of soy?"

"Here's the card of our realty agent. Dianne Rusnak. She's the best." Cody passed the card over to Harm who smiled.

"Thanks." He tucked the card in his pocket and turned to Dante. "So little man, what do you like to eat here?"

Dante tilted his head to the side and grinned. "Tees." He went back to building his Lego. "Green tees! Green TEES!"

"Broccoli. He's really an odd child." Cody ruffled his hair and smiled as the waitress who stood by with a no doubt recycled pad of paper. "I'll have the sundried tomato sandwich with the cream of carrot soup and a blueberry smoothie. The little guy here, he'll have a steamed veggie plate with some apple juice." He looked at Alex.

"I'll just have the red pepper and spinach quiche with a soy hot chocolate." Alex threw the menu down and brushed her hands on the front of her skirt.

"I'll have what she's having." Mac said with a small smile.

"I'll have the happy veggie sandwich with the squash soup and a cup of coffee." Harm grinned and passed the menus back to the waitress.

"So, when are you guys staring to look at houses?" Cody asked, fishing a piece of Lego out of his water with a spoon.

"Soon as we can hopefully. Both of our apartments are too small for one person, and I'm…uh…not exactly at my place very much anymore. Makes more sense than for us to pay two rents." Harm explained, his hand shooting out to rescue his water from little hands.

"There are lots of good places out there." Cody rolled his eyes and grabbed Dante who squealed and glared at his dad. "Dianne is great at what she does. Give her your range, the neighbourhoods you want and approximate size. She'll find something for you. She did for us."

Alex took a small bite of her quiche and chewed slowly. "Okay, it's not horrible." She flipped her wrist over and looked at her watch. "I have an interview with a witness in 25 minutes, so I should start heading back pretty soon."

"I'll come with you." Mac finished her meal and leaned over to place a kiss on Harm's cheek. "I'll see you later."

The men watched the two women grab their jackets and hurry out of the restaurant. "They're going to get burgers." Harm conceded.

"Of course they are." Cody shook his head. Dante frowned and mashed a piece of broccoli in his hands. "Dante…don't. We still have to take you to Nanny's."

"No 'ockie?"

"Not for you, buddy." Cody wiped his little hands and turned to Harm. "We let him come to the games, but not the practices. We're just dropping him off with Marilyn until we get childcare." He smiled and spread Dante's Legos on the table again. "This is a big move for you guys, eh?"

Harm smiled shyly. It still amazed him how the younger man could read him when even his closest friends couldn't. "Yeah."

"One step at a time." He sighed and fished the plastic blocks out of his soup with a spoon and glared at his son. "And YOU sir, stop that."

Dante grinned and looked over at Harm for support. "MANDER!"

"You're on your own, buddy." Harm ruffled his hair and took the bill off the table. "I've got it, thanks for the card."

"No prob. Let me know how the search goes." He turned to pick up his son. "Thanks again. Say bye Dante."

"BYE MANDER!" Dante grinned and took off running as soon as his feet hit the ground. He jerked back by the strap that was attached to his little backpack.

"And you see why we make him wear a harness." Cody grinned and waved as they left the restaurant.

--

She was a red haired middle age woman with a wide smile wearing a blue blazer and pant skirt. "Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb?"

"Sarah Mackenzie." Mac extended her hand. "And this is Harmon Rabb." They shook Diane's hand and smiled. "Thanks for meeting us on such short notice."

Diane smiled. "No problem. It's what I do. I have a few different places picked out. There are a few around here in Alexandria that I want to show you, then I have one somewhere else I'll show you at the end."

Harm nodded. "Lead on. This is our first time ever doing anything like this." He took Mac's hand in his and followed Diane into the first house.

--

"Leesburg? Harm, we can't afford a place in Leesburg." Mac looked out the window as the large houses passed them.

Harm shrugged. "Hey, I'm just following the lady." He pulled up behind Diane. She parked in a long winding driveway. The house loomed over them. The brick façade, the double car garage, the old gnarled oak tree in the front yard…the double French doors in the front. Mac's heart stopped as they walked in. The hardwood floors to the high ceilings to the winding stairwell…it was perfect. All perfect.

"How many square feet is it?" Harm asked following a low whistle.

"About 5600." Diane grinned as the couple were obviously taken with the home. "And it's priced to sell." She pulled out the information out of her black leather binder and handed it to Harm. "These don't come along everyday."

"You're telling me." He read through some of the pages. "Wow."

"You'll be saying that a lot more when you see the rest of the house." Diane smiled and led them into the kitchen. "Someone can do some major cooking in here."

The sunlight streamed through the window illuminating the brightly painted breakfast nook. Harm looked at Mac and he knew the answer before he even knew the question.

"There are five bedrooms, four bathrooms…a school nearby and a park just around the corner. Do you two have children?" Diane asked gently.

"Uh…no…" Harm shook his head. "Not…yet."

Mac's head jerked up at the comment, with a look of surprise on her face. "No…not yet." She echoed.

"It's also really close to the Gianinni's, only a few blocks away." Diane led them out of the kitchen. "Would you like to go check out the upstairs?"

Harm put his arm around Mac's shoulders and followed Diane up the stairs. The master suite was something of beauty. Spacious with huge bright windows, a giant walk in closet and a master bathroom, complete with a Jacuzzi tub and a shower.

Diane's cell phone rang, leaving them alone.

"So…"

"Harm, I love it." Her voice was soft. "I know we can't afford it, but I love it. I love the house, I love the area…It's only about a twenty minute commute into JAG…"

"And Alex and Cody are near by if we need to carpool."

"There's plenty of space…"

"For a growing family."

He pressed his lips gently against hers. "We'll talk to Diane."


	27. Chapter 27

"Hello Commander, what brings you here today?" Bud smiled as he saw his long time friend walk through the bullpen. "The Colonel is in court right now…"

Harm smiled. "I know Bud, I was actually looking for Major Gianinni. Is she in her office?"

"I'm not sure, sir. I know she's working on a case, but I don't think she had any interviews of anything set up today." He looked around the bullpen. "I'm pretty sure she and Lieutenant Singer haven't killed each other yet."

"That bad?"

A small smile crossed his face. "Yes. Though the Admiral and the Colonel are usually able to handle them. Usually."

"Thanks Bud." Harm walked towards Alex's office and pounded on her doorframe.

"It's open!"

He stuck his head in and waited until she looked up "Hey Commander. Come on in."

"Thanks. Looks like you've made yourself at home."

Alex grinned. "Yep, finally unpacked the last box. So what brings you over here?"

"I have a few questions to ask you. Can I sit?" He motioned to her desk chair.

"Sure. What type of questions?"

He opened a folder and placed it on her desk. "We're tackling some dodgers that are in Canada, trying to avoid going back to Iraq."

"I see. And where do I come in?" She steepled her fingers and looked over them.

"I don't understand your country." Harm conceded with a frown.

Alex laughed. "My country, eh?" Her blue eyes flickered gleefully. "Canada just happens to be very…liberal."

"I thought after the new regime took over you guys were more conservative." Harm said, flipping through his folder.

"We are, technically. But you of all people should know where Canada stands on the issue of the war in Iraq." She shook her head slightly. "We'd love to be there and help our big brother out, but when it's not sanctioned by the United Nations, we're not touching it with a ten-foot pole." Holding up her hands as a shield she continued. "Hey, I'm just saying that if it was legal, the butt kissing Conservatives would be loading up our troops."

"Wasn't it the Liberals that made the decision?"

"Yeah, their last move before the election."

"And the Conservatives couldn't overthrow their decision?"

"Sure they COULD." Alex stood up and riffled around in her filing cabinet. "But they wouldn't. Even Stephan Harper isn't that big of an idiot to piss off the majority of the population, not saying that he isn't an idiot." She raised an eyebrow when her eyes met Harm's confused ones. "What, I can make comments like that. He isn't MY commander in chief. I just can't say anything about the Queen. Tell you what. I have to run a few interviews today and my calendar for the next week or so is full…but if you want to come over we can bounce some ideas."

"Sure, I guess that works. I don't want to be imposing on you at all…"

"Cody is home, he can watch the demon spawn for a while. You can invite the Colonel over, we'll order something in, or maybe I can convince Cody to throw something together." Alex looked at her watch. "I've gotta run and meet with Lieutenant Marks. How does 1800, my place?"

"Sounds great."

She held the door open for Harm and they walked quickly down the hall. "Okay, see you then."

--

"Come on in." Cody held the door open for the two officers and held onto his son with the other.

"Hi 'Mander! Hi Kerrrrrrrnal!" Dante squealed eyeing the open door and making a squirming dash for it.

Cody grabbed him by his hood and swung him clear of the door. "I said NO the first time."

Dante glared at his father and started screaming. "LET ME BE FREE! LET ME BE FREE!"

"Sorry about this. Alex is in the office, second door to the left." He nodded towards the shut door and stuck his son under his arm. "And you sir, are going into the room. NO TOYS."

"FREE!"

Mac giggled as she watched as Cody dropped him in the spare bedroom and shut the door. "I'm really sorry, but when they say that they hit the terrible twos…they really hit the terrible twos."

"It's quite alright. Is there anything I can help you out with?" She offered shrugging her jacket off.

"Depends, what do you guys want to eat?"

"Whatever is easiest for you guys."

"Let me ask the boss." He stuck his head into the office. "What are you two in the mood for?"

Harm and Alex shrugged. "Whatever. I'm easy."

"Vietnamese?"

"Works for me." Alex replied with a smile. "Where's the demon spawn?"

"In the room." Cody smiled and shut the door.

Mac gave him a smile. "I heard some banging coming from inside the room…" She started as Cody threw the door open. "Dante…Dante…"

He looked around the room with panic when there was no answer. "Where the hell could he have gotten to?"

"Daddy I stick!"

Cody threw open the closet door and peered at his son who was wedged in the laundry chute. "Dante! How on earth…" He pried him out and shook his head.

"I be free!"

Failing miserably to keep her composure Mac burst into a fit of giggles, covering her mouth with both hands. "I'm sorry, but you have to admit, that was funny." She explained as Cody shot her a glare.

"My kid is a freak." He mumbled, putting him down and shaking his head. "He's going to be the death of me…or him."

--

"So, all we can do is request to get them deported?" Harm finally conceded leaning back on the futon that adorned the small office.

"Pretty much. Especially if they have a kid that was born in Canada, you're pretty pooched." Alex ran her hands through her hair and smiled. "Not that you just couldn't go and ASK. The Government is pretty dumb."

"Yeah, I have a meeting with the minister of immigration next week." The doorbell rang through the air. "That would be the food."

"Mmmmm hmmm." Alex said throwing the file down on the desk. "Okay, let's go eat before Dante decides to use it as cannon fodder."

"Cannon fodder?"

"It's his new trick. He likes to play 'Lets throw the food.'" She shook her head. "I swear, it's his DNA, not mine."

Harm laughed as they exited the small office, walking down the brightly lit hallway. Mac and Cody already had the food spread out on the table, Dante firmly attached in his chair. He looked at Harm with a pitiful look on his face and raised his chubby arms. "Mander…you free?"

"Don't even think about it." Alex retorted and glared at her son who wrinkled his nose. "How much food did you order?"

Cody shrugged and dished food out onto the plates. "So, did you guys find a home you like?"

Taking a bite of the vegetarian freshroll, Harm nodded. "We did, hopefully we can afford it. It's right in this area too."

"That's great." Cody smiled. "Can always use more good people. So, did you guys get your work done?"

Alex shrugged. "The Commander is having a few problems with the Canadian way of dealing with things."

"I'm not used to places that…are…"

"Socialist?" Cody interjected with a smile.

"Socialist."

"Soshal LISP." Dante repeated mashing his noodles in his hair. "Worms. Wormy wormy worms!"

"NOT IT!" Cody cried looking at his son. "Your turn."

"Damn it." Alex swallowed her mouthful and stared at her son who had Kung Pao chicken dripping down his face.

"Damn it." The boy grinned throwing a handful of noodles at Mac.

--

Mac's eyes drooped as they pulled up to her apartment. Harm smiled and watched Mac as she slept peacefully. The way her mouth moved when she slept, the way her chest moved up and down in a steady rhythm.

"Mac…we're here." He whispered softly. She mumbled and tried to bury her face into the upholstery. A smile crossed his face. Gently he picked her up and carried her out of the car.

"Uh…Harm…" Her eyes flickered open. "I can walk."

"But I like carrying you." He reasoned, flashing a knee-melting smile.

They got to the front door, Mac still tightly held in his arms. "You can let me down now."

"Why, you don't want me to carry you into your own apartment?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Harm, there's another time I want you to carry me under the threshold of our home. This, isn't it." Hopping down she placed a kiss on his lips and scampered into the apartment, leaving a very confused naval officer standing in the hall.

Sorry guys, this chapter is complete and absolute tripe. I re-wrote it a bunch of times (one reason why it took so long) and I've been sick and really busy at work (the other reasons.). I hope it suffices for now. I tried to show some of the "troblems" Harm is having with his new position.

**Hopefully the writer's block breaks up…soon!**


	28. Chapter 28

"What do you mean you get Monday off?" Mac asked brushing her hair and applying a bit of product to the ends of it.

Harm grinned and continued brushing his teeth. "Canadian Thanksgiving." He replied around his toothbrush. "I work for the Canadian government, remember?" Spitting into the basin and giving Mac a huge grin he moved to the side, avoiding her elbow. "And the Gianinnis are having a Thanksgiving dinner that we're invited to. Canadian style." He laughed at the memory of Cody's message. It was him inviting them, complete with thick fake Canadian accent and every break in the message an EH added in for emphasis.

"Can't believe you get the day off…what are you going to do?" Mac mumbled adjusting her skirt.

"Do some paperwork…talk to the real estate agent…go to the bank…make an offer for the house. You know, all the normal stuff." Harm replied doing up his tie.

"Harm…I love the house, I love the area, but we've gone over this before. We just can't afford it…and I don't want you to ask your parents for any money."

He poked his head around the corner with a grin. "Who said I asked…come on, let's go. We don't want to be late."

Rolling her eyes, she agreed, and slipped her shoes on followed him out of the apartment.

--

"Where is Gianinni?" The Admiral asked looking over his glasses.

"Well sir, she said that she had to pick up her son at daycare, apparently he got suspended." Mac said trying not to smile.

"Kids. Her son is a terror." Singer interjected with a glare.

"I can wait two more minutes…" AJ mumbled, scribbling some notes on his pad of paper.

"DON'T MOVE MISTER. You will SIT in that chair, and if Petty Officer Tiner sees you move so much as an eyelash, and you're going to be in BIG trouble." They could hear Alex's voice fill the room. Bud, Sturgis and Mac all exchanged amused glances as Alex stormed into the room.

"I'm so sorry Admiral. Dante got suspended from daycare for biting another kid." She sat down meekly besides Sturgis who was stifling a laugh. "I'm so so sorry…I had to bring him in…I can't get a hold of my mom…and Cody is on a roadtrip to Raleigh…"

"It's okay Major." AJ said gruffly, though his eyes telling otherwise. "We'll start with our meeting…" He got through most of their cases before Tiner knocked on the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Major Gianinni…your son…"

Alex looked around the table, her eyes a mix of worry and anger.

"Go Major. Everyone. Dismissed."

Tearing out of the room, Alex glared at her son who was deftly climbing the bookshelves in Tiner's office.

"Dante! Get down from there! Right now!"

He turned to her and shook his head. "No. You bad mommy!" Climbing farther, he perched on the very top looking down at all of them. He wedged himself farther into the shelf so he was just underneath the ceiling tiles.

"You're going to hurt yourself." Alex tried another tactic.

"No." He closed his eyes and held his hands over his ears. "No no no no no."

"Fine. Stay up there." She stomped out, grabbing Tiner by the arm. "Tiner, watch him, please. Make sure he doesn't kill himself…or anyone else."

"Aye aye Ma'am."

Alex ran her hands through her hair and shot one last look at her son who was ignoring her, making motorboat noises high on top of the shelving. "I'm leaving Dante."

"Bye mommy." He called, sticking his tongue out as she left the room. Tiner looked up at the little boy who had a wicked grin on his face.

"Hey buddy, do you want to come down?"

"No." Dante leaned over, his little hand reaching down trying to grab a book. He looked down when a loud deep voice scared him.

"WHAT are you doing up there, sir?" AJ asked, his hands on his hips.

"Mommy mad." Dante admitted. "Big mad."

"How about you come down, and we'll get you some apple juice and a cookie, and we'll talk to your mommy?" AJ crawled onto Tiner's desk and plucked the boy from the bookshelves. Dante eyed the Admiral with suspicion. Deciding that he was an ally, not an enemy he wrapped his arms around the man's neck and put his mouth close to the Admiral's ear.

"I am in twouble." He whispered.

AJ laughed. "Yes you are. But let's give you your last meal before you go and face the judge."

Dante nodded solemnly. "Chocolate chip cookie?"

"We'll see what we can find Private." Looking at the height of the bookshelves he stared at the little boy. "How did you get all the way up there?"

Shrugging his tiny shoulders Dante looked away. "I climb."

--

Alex flipped through her files, twirling a stray piece of hair around her pen with her free hand. Rereading the interview with her client, Lieutenant Degraw, she frowned at the inconsistencies that were so blatantly obvious to her, and blatantly ignored by the defence. Deciding that she needed another cup of caffeine to keep her brain going she exited her office, her oversized mug in hand.

"Tiner, is Dante still on his self ignoring everyone?" She asked over her shoulder.

"No Ma'am. He hasn't been there since the Admiral got him earlier this morning, before your interview with Lieutenant Degraw." Tiner said with a small smile on his face. "They're in his office right now..."

Rolling her blue eyes, Alex knocked on the doorframe to the Admiral's office. When the customary greeting was administered, she let herself into the large office.

"Major." AJ said with a smile, keeping his eyes on the small boy who was skilfully stickhandling a foam ball around with a small hockey stick.

"Admiral, I'm really sorry about this...I still haven't gotten a hold of my mother...I can keep him in my office until the day is over..." She muttered, reaching out to grab her son who ran under her grasp and bolted towards the large desk.

"Major, I'm sure you have plenty of work to do," AJ said with a smile. "The Degraw case is rather large and it requires your full attention. I'm fine here with Dante...plus, he's beating me 3-2 right now. Though I DO believe he has something he wants to say to you."

Dante stuck his head out from around the desk and walked up to his mom with a sad look on his face. "I am sorry Mommy." He whispered.

Alex knelt down to his level and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Okay buddy, but don't you dare climb those shelves again."

"Even if the 'miral says I can?" He asked looking at AJ hopefully.

"Even then." She stood up and straightened her uniform. "Thank you Admiral."

He nodded. "Dismissed Major. Your son and I have a game to continue. Now let's go Dante..."

The boy grinned. "Yes sir!"

Alex smiled and closed the door as she left the office.

--

"Mommy! Look at what the 'miral and I maded." Dante exclaimed walking into her office. He held a picture coloured on official JAG letterhead. AJ stood behind him smiling proudly.

"He did most of it himself."

"I'm sure he did, sir. Including the flying dogs." She shook her head. "We've already discussed NOT throwing Sakic and Yzerman off the railing because..."

"Dogs cannot fly." Dante said sadly.

"Right." She scooped him up and placed him on the chair in front of her desk. "Thanks again, sir. It was so much easier not having to keep track of him."

AJ smiled. "No problem Major."

"Dante, don't you have something you were going to ask the Admiral?" Alex prodded gently.

"Yes! 'Miral. You come to thanksgiving." Dante stated with a grin on his face.

"That wasn't a question."

"Okkkkkkkkay. You please come to thanksgiving?" He batted his long eyelashes.

"I think I can make it. Now you remember what we talked about…" AJ pointed a stern finger at the young boy.

"Yessir. I lissen to mommy!" He gave the Admiral a salute and stood up straight. "And daddy."

"Good man." AJ turned to Alex. "I'll see you later Major."

"Thanks again sir." Alex smiled and watched as the older man shut the door behind him.

"Tummy hurts." Dante moaned, lying on the chair and looking pitiful.

"What did you and the Admiral eat today?"

"Boxes of cookies." He closed his eyes and sighed. "Lots."

--

"It's in the cooler!" Cody yelled, throwing a load of laundry in the washer. "In the water, where it ALWAYS IS WHEN WE'RE THAWING A BIRD!"

Alex yelled something back in response, but the other rooms muffled it. Cody sighed and started the washer. Notes were strategically placed all over the house, reminding them of what to do for Thanksgiving dinner. When Alex got stressed out, she relied heavily on notes. And yelling. And she was doing both. A lot. Her head poked around the corner, her hair hidden by a white wrap.

"Do you have all of the wine and sparkling cider?"

"It's in the sunroom." He replied with a smirk.

She closed her eyes briefly and wiped her face with the collar of her shirt. "I can't do this Cody. I'm not my mother, I can't do this."

Wrapping his arms around her waist he placed a kiss on her bare neck. "Sure you can. You've made Thanksgiving dinner before."

"For our family. Not our family, and our friends…not to mention my bosses!" Tears rimmed her eyes. "I'm going to screw up and give everyone food poisoning!"

Cody fought back a laugh. He knew that Alex was one of the best cooks he had ever met and it was her nerves more than anything that were getting to her.

"Lexi…come on…you're the best cook ANYONE has ever met. You can do it, just calm down." He brushed away the few stray tears with his thumbs. "I'll be here to help."

"You can help if you can keep Dante occupied. He keeps trying to make off with food." Alex sighed.

"Done." He pushed a curl underneath her wrap and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Now go and be amazing."

"Just don't bitch when you get salmonella." Alex called after him, dragging the cooler, turkey and all into the kitchen.

--

"Two thanksgivings. I could get used to this." Harm said buttoning up his shirt.

Mac came from behind him and patted his stomach with both hands. "You better not get used to it old man."

"This coming from the woman who could live off of Beltway burgers, pizza and kung pao chicken? And come to think of it, didn't you used to call me STICK BOY?" Harm asked turning around to face her.

"When you get older, it's easier for you to put on weight…" Mac teased, poking Harm in the ribs.

Capturing her lips with his, he stopped her from saying anything else. Their tongues duelled for supremacy, Mac finally conceding defeat. They slowly pulled apart, lust mirroring in each other's eyes.

"We should get going…we'll be late." Mac finally whispered, chewing softly on her kiss-swollen lip.

"Maybe we should be late…" Harm retorted, gently leading her to the bed…

--

"Smells great in here." Harm commented, hanging Mac's jacket up in the closet.

Cody grinned. "Thanks. She's been cooking up a storm all day. Just follow the swearing and banging." He said kicking the closet shut. "All the guys are in the TV room. While it might not be like OUR thanksgiving…there's still some decent football on. The women are in the kitchen trying to wrangle the kids."

Harm made a beeline for the TV room as Mac made a detour to the kitchen.

"Hey sir. Glad you could join us!" Bud called out with a smile.

"Yeah…we got…distracted." Harm said blushing.

"Don't want to know!" Sturgis chipped in his eyes shining with amusement.

Sitting on the armchair closest to the door Harm grabbed a drink from the table. There were a few people in the room that he didn't know, but for the most part the room was full of friends, old and new. Sean walked by, still hampered by a slight limp.

"Master Corporal."

The young man smiled. "Commander Rabb. You're come to brave my sister's cooking, have you?"

Harm chuckled. "I've heard great things about it."

"Then you didn't hear the infamous lunch story…we came home and the whole house was full of smoke." Sean said laughing.

"Actually, that was you asshole." Alex retorted sticking her head in the room. "You burnt a grilled cheese sandwich."

Sean grinned, his eyes flashing. "Right, I forgot."

Thom laughed, taking a long swallow of his beer. "Nice to see that you could make it Commander."

Harm smiled. "We're just glad to be invited…" He looked around the room. "Are you sure that we shouldn't be helping?"

"Yes." Sturgis nodded emphatically. "We already went in and got yelled at. Safer here."

--

"Mooooooom. Does the turkey look burnt to you?" Alex whined opening the roaster and staring at the giant bird and poking it with a fork.

"No, it looks fine. Leave it alone." Marilyn answered with a smile. "When it's time I'll get your father or the Admiral to carve the turkey."

Harriet spooned the carrots into a serving dish and placed it on the island. "Everything looks great Major."

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" Mac asked washing her hands in the sink.

"You can mash the potatoes." Marilyn nodded towards the giant pot that sat inside the sink.

A dark haired girl, her hair pulled up tightly in a ponytail swung in, little AJ hanging on her leg, Dante on her back. "ETA on the food? I'm getting mobbed here…"

"Oh AJ, let go." Harriet said frowned and reached for her son.

"We're PLAYING, mommy."

"I'm the decrepit horse." She sighed, herding the boys out of the kitchen.

"Who was that?"

"My sister, Kirsten." Alex mumbled, trying to scoop the dressing out of the turkey. "Not really my sister, but we grew up together…She's useless in the kitchen, so she's on kid duty."

A loud scream from the other room brought them all to a halt.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N – I got asked if I was modelling Dante after someone. Yes, it would be my best friend's son Tyler. He's now six years old, but he is a SCARY child. I love him dearly, but we broke him beyond all repair. Everything Dante has done or does Tyler has done at least once. And yes, he did what Dante and little AJ did this chapter with his best friend José.**

"What was that?"

Alex shrugged. "Who knows? I'm used to hearing that sort of sound around here. Actually, I'm impressed it took this long."

Storming into the room, her shirt stained with red, Singer glared at the room full of women. "I'm NEVER having kids!"

Harriet started laughing but quickly covered it by coughing. "Wh-what happened?"

"Your two demonic offspring happened." She muttered trying to wipe the wine off of her shirt. "They came tearing around the corner with that…that…GIRL…and they knocked me over and spilled wine all over my shirt."

"AJ! Get your little blonde butt in here NOW!" Harriet screamed, her hands flying to her hips.

The patter of feet filled the room, AJ and Dante peering around the corner. "Yes mommy?"

"Here. Now."

AJ took a few tentative steps forward, never meeting his mother's gaze. "Yes?" He looked at his little friend, who was in the process of staring down Singer, his dark blue eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"Did you spill the lieutenant's wine?"

"She 'served it." Dante piped up taking a step forward. "She yell at us. And call us 'ittle shits. She 'served it." He walked up to Singer and kicked her shin before turning tail and running.

"HOLD IT DANTE!" Alex grabbed the boy by his shirt and pulled him back. "Dante Antonio Gianinni. You will APOLOGIZE to Lieutenant Singer and then you will go INTO your room and STAY there until supper."

He frowned, his face screwed up in a hard scowl. "FINE. I am sorry." Turning back to his mom he put his hands back on his hips. "There, you happy now?"

"Yes. Now go." She gave him a swift swat on the seat, leading him to his room.

"And you AJ, you will apologize to the Loren and you go join Dante in his room." Harriet glared at her son who looked at his feet.

"Sorry." He shuffled out of the room following Dante.

Wiping her hands off on her jeans Alex grabbed Singer by the arm. "Come on, I'm sure I have something in my closet that you'll wear. Mom, can you watch the turkey? And the gravy…crap mom…can you make the gravy?"

"Just go Alex. And get changed and do your hair." Marilyn called as Alex left the room. She shook her head and grinned at the remaining women. "You get used to it."

"I'd NEVER get used that." Mac exclaimed stirring the gravy on the stove. "I…I just can't see myself…"

"Please don't use Dante as a yardstick. He put peanut butter up his father's nose last week while he slept. So don't compare anyone to Dante."

"He did WHAT?"

Marilyn grinned. "He put peanut butter up Cody's nose. And couldn't figure out why he was upset."

--

"Do you have another shade of blue?"

Alex glared at Singer and pulled off another shirt. "This is the only other blue shirt I have. It'll fit."

"Uh…thanks, I guess."

"Yeah. Well, once you're done changing I'll wash your shirt. It should be ready by the time you leave." Alex shut the door behind her and took the stairs two at a time, stopping in the living room, her face still hard.

"Hey baby." Cody gave her a wave. "Harm and I cleaned up the wine. Any idea where our son is?"

"In his room." Alex rolled her eyes. "I'm going to head back into the kitchen. If one of you gentlemen wouldn't mind….we're going to need one of you to carve the turkey."

AJ raised his hand. "Just call when you need one of us, Major." He called as she left the room. Turning to Cody he raised his bottle slightly. "Can't ever say I've seen this side of the Major before."

Cody shook his head. "Neurosis is a funny thing." He looked around. "I should probably go check on the boys, see if they're dead or not."

"I'll come with you." Harm waved Bud down. "Stay sitting, I've got it." He followed Cody up the stairs towards Dante's room. "I don't hear anything. Is this a good or a bad thing?"

"Bad. Very bad." Cody swung the door open and peered in. Silence. "Boys?" He called. AJ poked his out of the closet, a guilty look on his face.

"Do not come in!" He put his hands up.

"Wrong answer." Harm grabbed his godson and placed him on the bed. "Where's Dante?"

Covering his mouth, AJ shook his head violently. "He say not to tell!"

Cody crawled out of the closet, a look of astonishment on his face. "He's mountaineered down the laundry chute."

"He's what?" Harm pointed his finger sternly at AJ before following Cody into the closet.

"His closet has a crawlspace into a play room. This way the mess would stay in there instead of moving out into the hall. And we put a laundry chute in it so he can help with the laundry." Cody explained as they got into a large open room full of toys. A sheet was tied to a shelf close to the laundry chute. "It has a door on it, but they propped it open. Two man operation." The sheet led into the laundry chute with Dante, the end tied to his overalls, hanging from the end.

"Dante…what are you doing?" Harm called down gently.

"Being free." He replied simply, his voice echoing in the chute.

"We were TRYING to escape because of the wicked witch." AJ said coming up behind them. "She yelled at us, and then we got sent here."

"And she 'served it!" Dante yelled.

"Ah, vigilante justice." Harm fought back a laugh. "So what do we do? We're too big to fit in there and he's too far down to reach him."

Cody started to pull the sheet before Dante screamed. "NOOOO DADDY! NOOOO!" His little fingers flew to the end of the sheet tied around his pants. "I will take this off!"

"No no no no no…" Harm peered down. "Okay, we won't take it off. Where are you going to Dante?"

"China."

Running his hands frantically through his hair Cody looked at Harm helplessly. "If Alex finds out that our son is stuck in a laundry chute she's going to divorce me. Seriously."

"Okay, here's what we're going to do. I'll go down into the basement and catch him while you lower him down from your end." Harm said standing up.

"You sure?"

"No, but it's the best that we have." He crawled out of the room. Bounding down the stairs, avoiding the main room he got to the basement in record time. "Okay, I'm ready!" He called up. It was a long way up…and a long way down. The boy giggled as he looked down at Harm.

"Hi 'Mander!"

"Hi Dante. We're going to play a game, this is going to be like a big slide. Your daddy is going to untie you and you're going to slide down to me…okay?" Harm told the small boy.

"NO!" Dante pressed his small feet on the inside of the laundry chute and his back on the other stopping all further progress. "No." Harm watched as the sheet/rope fell on top of the boy who laughed. "Now what?"

"Cody, we have a problem…"

"What?" Cody peered down to see his son laughing like a hyena. "Dante…"

"Now you get me." Dante replied with a giggle. "HI AJ! I am stuck!"

AJ leaned over the hole. "Is it fun Dante? Can I try?"

"NO!" Cody and Harm cried in unison.

"I never get to have ANY fun." AJ pouted.

"SUPPER!" Came the cry from upstairs.

"Shit. Shit shit shit." Cody mumbled, his voice carrying down the shaft.

"Daddy in SHIT!" Dante giggled.

"Shut up Dante. Okay…I'm going to run down and distract them…" Cody called down, leaving the room and dragging AJ with him.

"Are you okay up there Dante?" Harm called uncertainly.

"Yep." Came his voice. "China will be fun."

Harm couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sure it will be. Are you legs tired yet?"

"No."

He sighed and leaned against the washing machine and waited.

--

"Where are Harm and Dante?" Mac asked, leaning down and picking up her godson.

"Dante's going to CHINA!" AJ exclaimed, a grin on his face. "He IS Auntie Mac! I seen him!"

Alex blew a curl off her forehead. "China?"

"Yeah! Through the centre of the earth!"

She turned and faced her husband who turned a bright shade of red. "He's kind of…stuck…in the laundry chute."

"He's what?"

"CLIMBING TO CHINA!" AJ yelled smiling at everyone. "I maded him a rope, and then I holded the door open and then Dante climbded down!"

"Is there something you should tell me, Cody?" Alex asked, turning to face her husband.

"Your son is stuck in the laundry chute." Cody said quietly, flinching and avoiding Alex's glare.

"He's WHAT?"

"GOING TO CHINA!" AJ giggled. "Come see!"

AJ and Thom exchanged looks before bursting out laughing. Bud shook his head and looked over at Harriet who was staring at her son.

"So…where's Harm?" Sturgis asked, his deep baritone voice breaking the reverie of the room.

"Downstairs…in case Dante falls." Cody looked helplessly at the people in the kitchen. "He won't come out."

"We have an idea." Thom piped up, looking at AJ who nodded. "Commander, Cody…if you guys want to head down to the basement…Alex…Colonel if you two want to come upstairs with us. Harriet, Bud…if we can get you two to be ready with towels and dry clothes for Dante…" Thom turned to his son who was standing against the door with a smirk. "The rest of you…just make sure that supper doesn't burn."

--

"You might want to take off your clothes." AJ yelled down the shaft.

"Who, me?" Dante peered up at the Admiral with a smile. "Hi 'Miral! Hi Papa!"

"No, Commanders…Cody…you may want to take off your clothes. We're going to flush him out." AJ smiled and waited for the three younger men to take his advice.

"What the hell." Sturgis mumbled. "Gianinni….your child…"

"Don't remind me." Cody shook his head and loosed his belt. In a matter of minutes the three men were stripped down to their boxers, standing underneath the laundry chute. Harm looked the young man up and down as Cody threw their clothes into the dryer. "They'll stay dry there."

"Nice tats by the way." Harm said with a smirk.

Cody turned beet red and crossed his arms across his chest. "Okay, we're ready!" He called up, ignoring Harm's comment.

"Okay…we've got the water." Mac called back, she and Alex lifted the garbage can over the chute and let the water flow out. Within seconds, the flood of water and Dante came out of the bottom of the chute.

The three men grabbed the sputtering child who trashed around wildly. Dante looked at them with a frown on his face.

"You okay?" Sturgis asked, wiping the water from his face.

"I don't like China." Dante whined looking at the three men. "It's wet."

--

After the excitement of AJ and Dante's thwarted trip to China, the meal went off without a hitch.

"That, Major, was one of the best Thanksgiving meals I've ever had." AJ rubbed his stomach and sighed. " I can't believe that there's even still pie."

"There's pie." Alex smiled. "Though, we have one more tradition before we eat the pie."

"CHRISTOPHER FAMILY FOOOOOOOOOTBALL!" Sean cried beating his chest. "FOOTBALL!"

"Family football game." Marilyn smiled. "I'm the trainer, last year we had Thom break his arm. He's officially retired from the game.

"Poor Dad." Sean grinned. "Okay Mom, pick the Captains and we'll start drafting teams."

"How about we do…land vs sea?" Marilyn asked. "Navy vs. ground forces?"

"Right on!" Sean exclaimed. "So it's…me, Colonel Mackenzie and…Alex."

"And Kirsten." Alex piped up. "And Cody. Versus Harm, Sturgis, Loren, Bud and the Admiral."

Harriet grinned. "I'll help Marilyn on the sidelines."

"And me play!" Dante giggled clapping. "Me and AJ!"

"Dante on…with us? And AJ with you guys?" Mac asked, standing up, a smile on her face. "Come on buddy you can be our secret weapon." She removed the boy from his chair.

"WEAPON!" Dante danced around, grabbing AJ and pulling him down with him. "We be weapons!"

"Let's go weapons." Mac ushered them out into the backyard with the rest of the crew following.

"Okay, here are the rules." Thom started. "Eight steamboats before pass rushing. Three downs. First to 5 touchdowns win. Two hand touch." He pointed to the trees on the far end. "That's one end zone." Pointing to the other end of the yard. "That's the other."

"Three downs?" Sturgis asked, walking towards their end zone. "What do you mean three?"

"It's the way REAL men play football." Sean retorted with a smile. "CFL rules. Okay, let's get this show on the road. I'll be quarterback…"

Marilyn rolled her eyes and turned to Harriet. "Here is where the real game starts. Every damn year…"

"No! It's MY house! I get to be quarterback!" Alex ripped the ball out of his hands and pushed him away. "MOM! It's my house! I get to be quarterback, right?"

Laughing, Marilyn nudged Harriet. "Told you. They never grow up, even if they're in their 20's."

"Well, let Alex be the starting QB. And if her completion rate isn't high….just switch."

"Fine." Sean glared at his sister. "Second you suck, we're pulling you."

"Shut up assface and line up." Alex shoved him towards the huddle. "Okay, I'll drop back, Colonel you run a button hook pattern to the left, Cody you to the right. Kirsten you run straight, Sean you…just don't hurt yourself. Dante…you take little AJ. Make sure he doesn't get in. BREAK!" They lined up, Dante in front with the football. "Blue 42. Blue 42. Hut hut hut!"

Alex dropped back and watched the play develop. Seeing an opening she launched a bullet to Mac, who gathered it in and scampered towards the endzone.

Forty minutes, the book on profanity, and a few band-aids later, the crew hobbled into the kitchen. "Nanny! We win!"

"Was there ANY doubt?" Sean grinned, giving his nephew a high five.

"Nope!"

--

"Harm?"

He rolled over and faced Mac, brushing her hair out of her face. "Yeah?"

"Do we really want kids?" Her face was a mix of amusement and fear.

"Yes." He pulled her close. "Don't let Dante scare you. Not ALL kids are like that."

"But what if ours is?"

"We'll send it to Alex and Cody. They can show us what to do…" He grinned and looked her in the eyes. "Mac…Sarah…let's just take this one step at a time. You. Me. A house…"

She smiled and kissed his bare chest. "One step at a time."

"Exactly."

"I just don't want a house with a laundry chute."

His deep laugh reverberated in the room, his eyes glowing in the dark. "We'll talk about it tomorrow."


	30. Chapter 30

"I think it's a great idea!" Cody pushed his hair under a well-worn ball cap. "I'm sure Mac will be surprised." He attached a ribbon to the pole on the porch.

"I hope she doesn't get too pissed off at me for going behind her back and putting an offer in on the house. I understand her not wanting to be taken care of and all…" Harm shrugged and tied another ribbon to the opposite pole.

"Da Kernal will LUV it!" Dante exclaimed running up and down the porch. "I will play here everyday. Everyday." He nodded. "Yes I will."

Cody snickered. "Good luck with that. And you sir, are going back to daycare tomorrow because Daddy has to work."

Dante rolled his eyes and ran onto the perfectly manicured lawn. "I hate daycare. I fight and fight and fight and fight!"

"Want a kid? I'm selling him, cheap. Hell, I'll pay you to take him." Cody grumbled.

Harm just laughed and watched the young boy try to dig a hole like a dog.

--

"Colonel, the Commander has been calling all morning and leaving messages." Tiner caught her as she was on her way into her office. "I told him that you were in court, but he keeps calling."

"Did he say what was wrong?"

"No, just that he had to get a hold of you." He shrugged and wandered off towards his own office.

Alex grinned, knowing full well the reason Harm was calling all the time. "You should call him back, I know that he, Cody and Dante were going out for lunch. Maybe they sold my son."

"You know, don't you?"

Grabbing her files, Alex walked back to her office and avoided Mac's stare of death.

"Major…"

Shutting her office door and lowering the blinds, Alex effectively hid from the questioning eyes of Mac. She laughed and waited for part two of the plan.

--

Mac was now becoming frustrated. She tried Harm's cell numerous times, each time catching his voicemail. His secretary said that he was on a call and would be out until later. She sighed and rubbed her fingers against her temples, trying to ward off the impending headache. Then a loud ruckus from the bullpen made her groan audibly and open up her office door.

"What is going ON out here?"

Little AJ, wearing a tiny suit walked forward his arms full of flowers. He handed them to her and smiled.

"What're these?"

He shrugged and walked away, towards the exit of the JAG office. She examined the flowers. Roses. 7 of them. Little footsteps came after, Dante, again wearing a suit, came up, carrying a white box.

"What's this?"

Dante grinned. "A box. You open it." Spinning around, he did a bow and quickly took off down the hall.

Alex and Harriet giggled, obvious conspirators in the plan. "I'm going to get you two back." Mac called over her shoulder.

"No you won't." Harriet replied with a grin. She shooed Mac away with a wave and turned to Alex. "That was so cute."

"Hell, I'm just impressed Dante got from point A to point B without breaking anything or staining that suit." Alex retorted grinning over her coffee mug. "She is going to be SO surprised."

"She will." Harriet smiled. "I can't believe they got it together so quickly."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Give Cody a job and a deadline and he'll figure out a way to do it."

"It's so romantic." Harriet swooned.

They chatted, trying not to peer into Mac's office while she read the card and slowly opened the box.

Mac took a sharp intake of breath as she, with shaking hands, she pulled the lid off the white box. In it laid a dark teal gown, with a simple handwritten note lying on top. In Harm's scrawl it read "Meet me at Chez Pierre's. 1900."

7 o'clock couldn't come fast enough.

--

"So you'll have the candles lit by around 2100?"

"Yes. And we'll have the rose petals ready." Alex laughed into the phone and shook her head at Cody who grinned. "We'll leave the key in the mailbox. The sparkling cider will be there. Okay. Have a good time."

Harm sighed and looked at his watch. Six minutes to 7. He was close to wearing a hole in the soles of his shoes from pacing. Finally, after what felt like hours, but according to his watch was only 3 minutes, Mac arrived. His heart raced when he saw her. Harriet and Alex did an amazing job of choosing the dress, the colour perfect, the cut and style hugging every curve just right. He made a mental note to thank both of them profusely.

"Hey." She came up beside him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Everything that was on his mind previous, the words, the thoughts all left him. Smiling like an idiot, he finally opened his mouth.

"Hey." His face hurt from smiling so hard. "You look beautiful."

"You look pretty fine yourself." She gazed at him, wearing a black suit, a black shirt and tie that matched her gown. "What's going on?"

He grinned. "You'll find out. Now, would you please join me for dinner?" He extended his arm and waited until she was comfortably snuggled against him. They walked into the dimly lit restaurant.

"Table for two, under Rabb."

The host guided them to a secluded candle lit table in the corner. "May I get you two a drink to start with?"

"Some sparkling water please." Mac asked softly, still smiling at Harm.

"Uh…same for me please." Harm stuttered.

"You know, you used to be so eloquent. I think getting out of the court room has wrecked your speaking ability." She joked, sipping her water.

"Maybe." He swallowed hard and looked at his watch. One hour and 45 minutes…

--

"What's up with the getups, boys?" Alex asked, stifling a laugh. Cody and Dante were both dressed, head to toe, in black. Black pants, socks, turtle neck and toques. "We're going to light some candles, not rob a bank."

"We are NINJAS mommy!" Dante exclaimed. "When I growed up, I want to be a hockey player, a architect, a caterpillar, or a NINJA!"

"Good plan buddy." She looked at her watch. "Okay, let's go. We should be there with enough time that we don't light their house on fire."

"Why does the Mander want us to light fires?" Dante asked skipping between his parents.

"He wants us to light CANDLES, for the Colonel. It's called being romantic." Cody corrected, holding his son's small hand.

"What's ROW-MAN-TICK?"

"It's when people love each other and do they do something nice to make the other person happy." Alex explained, pulling the key out of her pocket.

"Oh. Like when daddy picks up his socks? It makes you happy, right?"

"Not exactly." She shot a look towards Cody who shrugged. "Daddy…is very busy. But he does lots of romantic things."

Dante nodded. "Can I light the fires?"

"NO!" They both exclaimed, handing the basket of rose petals to the young boy. "You can spread these around." She glanced at her watch again. "Okay, they're going to be coming in about 10 minutes. Let's go go go."

Dante grabbed a handful of petals and threw them over his head. "I LIKE THIS HOUSE! I CAN MAKE A MESSSSSS!"

"Nine minutes boys…"

--

"I can't believe I'm going along with this." Mac pouted, her eyes covered by a blindfold. "What's going on?"

"Just wait." Harm pulled up to the house and killed the engine. The low glow emanating from the windows indicated that everything was ready to go. He opened the door and led her towards the house. Fishing in the mailbox he pulled out the key and opened the door. Finally he opened the door and pushed her in. With shaking hands he pulled the blindfold off. "Surpise."

She blinked, her eyes slowly adjusting to the dim lighting. "Harm…"

"It's our house." He said with a smile. "Welcome home."

"How…what…why…when?"

He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "It's for you Sarah. All for you."


	31. Chapter 31

Her hand flew up and covered her mouth. Sarah Mackenzie was officially speechless. Candles were strategically placed around the huge entrance, ribbons tied around the pillars, rose petals were…well…dumped in a pile, but the thought was there. Her eyes scanned the empty house, her face still emotionless. Harm swallowed hard, trying to read her reaction.

"Well?" He shoved his hands deep in his pockets.

"Why?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, her chocolate eyes still searching the house. "How?"

"Some good bartering. And a downpayment." Slowly meeting her eyes he hunted for any trace of anger. There was none. Surprise, yes. Confusion, yes. Anger? No. "I know how much you love this house…it's for you. For us." A grin crossed his face. "Though…the rose petals were supposed to be a little more spread out." He admitted.

Mac laughed, throwing her arms around his neck. "I love it Harm. I love you." Their lips met in a collision of passion, lust, wanting and desire, tongues duelling, chasing...dancing.

"You're not mad?"

"I was." She buried her head in his neck. "But…I know you did it for all of the right reasons. Us. And I think that's a pretty damn good reason." Her lips trailed along his jaw line…her hands deftly untucking his shirt…

Alex grabbed her son by his hood and swung him over her shoulder. He sighed and went limp, allowing himself to be taken away from the window.

"I want to see if the Kernal likes it!" He explained.

"You can ask her later. Don't be a little creep." She placed him on the sidewalk. "You can ask the Colonel and the Commander later if they liked it."

"Ooooooookay." He frowned and put the strings of his hoodie in his mouth before turning and looking at his mother. "What were they DOING?"

"What do you mean?" The street was dark, despite the glowing streetlights and Alex was determined to get home without either of them breaking something.

"Was the Mander trying to EAT the Kernal's FACE?" He finally asked, running into the back of Alex' s legs who had stopped abruptly.

"What do you mean? The Commander was giving the Colonel a kiss."

Dante shook his head. "Nu uh. I KNOW what kissing is. That was NOT kissing." He made fishy lips at his mom and made loud smacking noises. "That's KISSING."

"And how do you know this?" Alex opened the front door to their house and started taking off the little boy's shoes.

"I kiss Stacey Malin at daycare." He said with a smirk.

Alex stopped and grabbed her husband who happened to be walking by, his arms full of laundry. "Okay, that is YOUR problem. Your son is kissing girls in daycare." She lamented, leaving the two men in her life staring at each other.

--

"Your back is going to be killing you for a week." Mac whispered, snuggling close to Harm. They were lying on the floor of the master bedroom, their clothes somewhere in the big empty house.

"Worth it." He mumbled. "Though, we should head back...before we burn the place down..."

"You're right." She sighed and made no attempt to get up. "Wouldn't look good if the house burnt down. Especially with us butt naked in it."

Harm grinned and threw a pair of sweats and a shirt at her. "They're Alex's." He explained, throwing on a pair of his own jeans. "She told me to tell you to wash them before you give them back."

Rolling her eyes she pulled the tshirt over her head and slipped into the sweats. "I knew she was in on it."

He shrugged. "They did the candles and the roses. Well, I think Dante did those. But it was all for you."

--

"I'm glad we have lots of friends." Harm muttered, lifting a box and handing it to Sturgis who rolled his eyes.

"I expect full payment for this, buddy."

"Beer and pizza!" Harm retorted, grabbing an end table and carrying it into the house. "That's your payment."

Cody slid down the banister, landing with a thump at their feet. "I think all the bedroom boxes are in there now. Alex and Mac are sorting through things and Harriet is in the kitchen putting that stuff away."

Dante and little AJ carried boxes labelled "pillows" into the entrance. They wore matching jumpsuits, with a ball cap covering blonde and dark heads. "Whew. Dese are HEAVY." Dante exclaimed putting the box down and sighing.

"Where do these go?" AJ asked, pretending to wipe his brow with his hand.

"Upstairs." Harm pointed to the stairs. "First door, where the Colonel and the Major are."

"Yes sir!" AJ saluted Harm and started marching up the stairs. Dante grabbed his box and scrambled after him.

"Mommy! We have BOXES!" Dante yelled, pushing his box into the bedroom.

"Wow, I'm so glad that we have such strong men helping us with all of the boxes." Mac said with a smile as Dante and little AJ grinned.

"Thank you Auntie Mac." AJ giggled and tipped his ball cap towards her. Dante gave her a smile and flexed as they ran to get more boxes.

"Thanks for helping." Mac unloaded another box, hanging some clothes up in the huge closet.

"Hey, no prob. I know how hard it is to move around, it's always nice to have people help with the heavy lifting." Alex folded some clothes and placed them in the dresser drawer. "Speaking of heavy lifting..."

"Weak mind, strong back!" Sean muttered, carrying a huge dresser set up the stairs. He panted and placed it down on the carpet. "Get lighter stuff, Mac."

"It's ADULT furniture." Mac grinned. "Oh, and it goes over there, on the far wall."

"Course it goes on the far wall. Where else would it go?" He rolled his eyes and moved the dresser to the said wall. "I can help you guys sort clothes..." Looking at Mac, he shot her a puppy dog stare and batted his eyelashes.

Quickly, Thom's voice flowed into the bedroom. "Boy, get your butt down here and help us move these damn couches."

"Great, now I've got the crotchety old geezers yelling at me." He made a face and deftly avoided the two box carrying children before heading downstairs.

"What's a geezer?" Dante asked pushing his box into the room and sitting down on the carpet.

"Don't worry about it." Alex called over her shoulder. "Go get more boxes, boys." She rolled her eyes and tried to shoo them out of the room. Once they left, Alex turned back to Mac. "So what's the next step for you guys?"

A small smile crossed Mac's face. "Honestly, I don't know. We've been playing this game for seven years now…but we seem to be finally getting it right."

With a smile that belied her years, she asked for more information without even opening her mouth.

"We've been dancing around the issue from the moment we first met. And now...we seem like...we've finally made a life for ourselves. We both have pasts...regrets..."

"Forget regret." Alex said simply. "Everyone has baggage, everyone has pasts. It's how you get past it is the difference."

"How do you know so much about relationships? You're, what, eight years younger than me?" It was meant to come out as a joke , though Alex flinched and looked at her, her eyes narrowed.

"Mac. I realise that I'm going to be judged because of my age and I'm okay with that, but you should know as well as I do, that you can live through a lot in a really short period of time." Pulling her hair back into loose pigtails at the nape of her neck. "Did I ever tell you that I was engaged to another man?"

Mac shook her head, the story sounding awfully familiar.

"Cody and I met when we were 16, at a hockey tournament. It was love at first sight, and we spent the whole week together. We kept in touch for a couple of years, then, we just kind of stopped. That's when I met Brad. He was in a band and loved to party. We would go out for nights on end, drinking...smoking up. The whole nine yards, and I would go to class...and we'd do it all over again. Then, when Cody was playing for Boston U, we met up by chance." She sighed and looked back at Mac. "Within weeks I broke up with Brad and got back together with Cody. He's the one that got me to stop drinking and doing everything else." Stopping and wiping her eyes she gave a sheepish smile. "Everyone has pasts. We got past mine, you guys can get past yours."

"It's not that simple."

"Do you see a future with Harm?"

"Of course I do. That's ALL I see."

Alex shrugged. "Sure it is. You either know it or you don't. And if you didn't, you wouldn't be here right now." Standing up she gave Mac a small smile. "I'm going to feed the boys."

Mac watched as she skipped down the stairs, grabbing Dante before he launched himself over the railing and said a few choice words to the men who were on the ground, informing her that they would in fact, catch him.

--

"So what's the next step?" Cody gently put his end of the couch on the floor and wiped his forehead with the collar of his shirt.

Harm shrugged. "We're taking it one step at a time. It's taken us forever to get to this point…I can't even think of the future."

"Really?"

Sighing, Harm threw himself onto the couch and looked at Cody. "Honestly. No. I think about the future all the time. Every time I look at her, I think about the future. I think about her being my wife, being the mother of my kids."

"Then what's the problem?" Cody tucked a curl under his ear.

"We both have baggage…we both have pasts…"

"EVERYONE has pasts. Everyone."

"You don't understand. We've been playing this game for seven years now."

"Haven't you realised that neither have you won yet?" His blue eyes flashed. "Dude, I don't mean to pry, but haven't you realised that in this game you guys are playing…you're BOTH losing?"

"We've both lost so much already." Harm's voice trailed off.

"Then do something. Sure, buying a house, it's a great step. But YOU bought the house. You didn't buy it together. It's YOUR house, not hers and yours. It's YOUR life you're planning."

"But…"

"I'm not finished yet." The younger man took a deep breath and continued his rant. "This is coming from the ultimate commit-a-phobe himself, women need something concrete so that they know where they stand. Their name on the mortgage, or a ring on their hand. She doesn't have either."

"How the hell do you know so much?"

"You've MET my wife." He cocked an eyebrow and gave him a smile. "Now that we're neighbours, give me a call sometime and we'll go for a beer and chat things out."

Harm nodded. "Okay."

"Now let's get this shit moved before the women folk yell at us." Cody turned to his son who appeared from only God knows where. "Isn't that right little man?"

"Right. Damn weemin."

"I heard that!" Alex yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Damn mommy." Dante shook his head. "Okay. I am ready to carry heavy things. See, big mus-kels."

"Right, let's go get you some heavy stuff."

--

"You know I love you, right?" Harm asked quietly, gently running his hands through Mac's soft hair.

"Yeah." Turning to face him, she smiled at him gently. "What brought this up?"

"Nothing. You know I bought this house for…us. Right?"

"Mmm hmmm." Her eyes closed. "Can…we…continue this…later?"

"Course." Kissing the top of her head, he watched as she drifted off to sleep, not 100% sure of her answers.


	32. Chapter 32

Tears were streaming down his face, his breath coming in shorts gasps. He shouldn't be laughing and he knew it. He would pay for it, but he couldn't stop laughing. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, his blue eyes blinking, trying to clear the tears. But it was no use.

"Laugh it up chuckles." Mac retorted, waving the towel around madly in front of the fire alarm. "Why won't it SHUT UP?!"

Harm shook his head and finally gasped out "Quirks of the new house?"

"I boiled water and it sets off the fire alarm? Are you kidding me?" Mac threw the towel to the side and slammed the door to the washroom. Harm reached up and pulled the batteries out of the blaring alarm.

"I fixed it!" He called putting the batteries in the top shelf.

"Yeah, now if there's a fire we're going to burn." Mac retorted, rolling her eyes and doing up her running shoes.

Harm shrugged. "I'll get it looked at." He held the door open for her and locked it behind them. They quickly developed a rythym, their feet pounding on the pavement. It was a comfortable silence, something that they knew better than they knew themselves. It surrounded them, though their thoughts were anywhere but on the trail they followed.

"Race you home."

Harm looked over to see Mac tearing down the trail. He smiled to himself, quickly following. They passed the park, both picking up speed. Reaching their street, Mac slowed down to a jog and finally a walk. She waited for Harm to catch up. "Beat you."

"You cheat." He replied with a smirk. They walked past Cody and Alex's home, stopping when they heard yelling coming from inside. "Hey, don't look at me."

She shrugged and watched as the door flew open, a little body ran out screaming. "NO NO NO NO CLOTHES!" A larger, fully clothed body, tore after it, grabbing him before he reached the road.

"You're getting dressed and you're going to daycare." Cody muttered throwing the boy over his shoulder. "Throw a fit, see if I care. You're going."

Mac raised her eyebrows and giggled. "That kid."

Chuckling, Harm turned to her, taking her hand in his. "Speaking of kids ,when is Chloe coming in for Thanksgiving?"

"She should be landing tomorrow, around 1500." Mac opened the door and toed off her shoes and ran her hand through her damp locks. "I'll hop in the shower. Alex said she'd pick me up for work today."

"Okay, I'll make some coffee." Harm called, flashing a grin.

"I knew I loved you for a reason!" She called, shutting the door.

--

"Running late?"

Alex rolled her eyes and popped a piece of peanut butter slathered bagel in her mouth. "Yeah. Cody leaves today for Pittsburgh, Dante decided he wanted to be 'nekkid' all day and we're packing up to go to Pennsylvania. My house looks like a war zone."

Mac laughed and waited as they pulled onto the Beltway. "Why are you heading to Pennsylvania?"

"Brother plays for Erie in the OHL." Alex replied. "So we're heading there for American Thanksgiving. They have a few days off to celebrate and we rarely see him."

"He's how old?"

"Sixteen." Alex muttered something under her breath before slamming on the horn. "MOVE IT!"

"We're going to be in Pennsylvania visiting Harm's grandmother. My little sister is going to come along as well, she just turned 15. Maybe we can meet up for a little bit." Honestly, the idea relaxed Mac a lot. Trying to figure out what to do with Chloe for a week was exhausting.

"Sure. We're going to catch an Otters's game, the team he plays for, and do some other things around town. I'm sure BJ can get us three extra tickets."

"Are you sure? I don't want to put him out or anything."

Alex gave a wry smile. "The team doesn't say no to him. Their star rookie recruit gets whatever he wants and he knows it. I'll let you know by the end of the day. Say, 1300, if he can get the extra tickets."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Mac gave the younger woman a smile. "It's been really nice having you in the office Alex, you're a great lawyer."

"Thanks." She pulled the car into the parking lot and smiled. "I like it here better than I thought I would. I'll get back to you later about the tickets, kay?"

"Sure thing." Mac smiled and pulled her cover on, walking through the parking lot.

--

Chloe Madison skipped out of the terminal, following the pack of people who were on her flight.

"Hey Chloe, over here!"

She looked up and spotted Harm waving at her. Running towards him, she let herself be swallowed in his hug. "Hey Harm! Thanks for coming to get me!"

"No problemo kiddo. Ready to go grab your luggage?"

"Yep. I'm so excited to be spending Thanksgiving with you guys!" Chloe chirped skipping alongside Harm.

"We're excited to have you. We have a spare bedroom set up for you in the new house, though we're going to head to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving."

"Really? That will be awesome!" She grinned. "I can't wait to see your new house. Mac told me all about it. About how big it is, about the yard, the porch…" The teen rambled off as she grabbed her bright pink suitcase. "And how you guys have really cool neighbours, that they're Canadian and they have a son…" She looked up at Harm. "Sorry I'm talking so much."

Harm grinned and held the door open for Chloe. "No, keep talking. How's school?"

"Good, I like most of my classes, though I wish that I lived closer to you guys. Mabye once I get my liscence I can come and visit you guys…"

--

"You have tickets." Alex stuck her head in Mac's office and flashed her the thumbs up. "Just give me a call when you guys are there and I we can meet up before the game, then maybe grab supper."

Mac grinned. "Sounds great. Can your brother come out for supper as well?"

"Yeah, he can do whatever he wants. We're going to a resort for the weekend, we've already told his billet family, so he's in our hands now." She gave a small smile and went to shut the door.

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'll catch you later."

--

"What? We're going to a hockey game? That is so cool!" Chloe exclaimed, her eyes dancing. "Who's playing? What league is it? Can I get a jersey?"

"Whoa…power down." Mac smiled. "First question. Yes, we're going to a hockey game. It's the Erie Otters of the OHL in the Canadian Hockey League. And we'll see."

"Awesome! Where are our seats?"

Harm looked at Mac who shrugged. "Um, I'm not too sure actually."

"How can you not know? Don't you have the tickets?"

"No, Alex's brother plays for the Otters, so we just got the tickets from him."

Chloe's eyes danced. "We're going to hang out with a hockey player?! Is he cute?"

"Oh jeeze." Harm mumbled under his breath. "I am not dealing with two horomone driven teenagers. Not happening."

"What's his name?" Chloe asked, completely ignoring Harm's outbursts. "Wait, let me do some research." She scampered off to the office where the computer was set up. "What's his name?"

"Brendon Christopher." Mac called back.

A few seconds later a high squeal came from the office. "You guys are the coolest. I can't wait to go."

Mac buried her head in Harm's shoulder. "Are we going to regret this trip?"

"No, we're just going to regret the game." He retorted with a smile.

--

**Sorry about the increadibly long layoff. The real world has been hectic for me and I've had no energy and no time to update, but I promise, I'm not dead and this story is back in swing!**

Thanks for sticking with me!

**Ti-girl**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hello everyone! I'm really not dead…almost though. I just returned (about 7 hours ago) from my four week trip to…the Middle East. I'm serious and it was amazing. Israel, Jordan, Qatar and Egypt. I didn't get blown up! But I digress…**

**Now that I am back in the country (suffering from jet lag at the moment) I will be posting more regularly.**

--

"You shouldn't be nervous." She chastised herself as she watched the snow covered scenery fly by. "You're just going to meet his parents and his grandmother, it's not like he's going to propose to you or anything." Glancing at Harm who was singing along with Chloe to some song that she was playing from her Ipod.

"I LOVE this song." Chloe said, bouncing her head to the music. "It's from the new Zach Effron movie. He is soooooo cute."

Harm rolled his eyes and looked at Mac who smiled nervously.

"What's up?" He whispered, squeezing her hand gently.

"Nothing." She forced a smile and went back to looking out the window. "Nothing." She repeated to herself. "Nothing."

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac." Chloe said, kicking the back of her seat. "Tell me more about the hockey game we're going to watch."

"Erie Otters versus the London Knights." She replied peering back.

"Well, I know THAT, you said we're getting the tickets from one of the players…who is it?"

Mac smiled. "You'll find out when we get there." She went back to staring out the window.

"Maaaac…that is totally unfair. Do I have to start asking are we going to get there?" Chloe grinned and took a handful of chips. "Are we there yet? Harm are we there yet? Mac, are we there yet?"

"Just tell her or else we're never going to hear the end of it." Harm said with a chuckle.

"Brendon Christopher." Mac finally relented.

"THE Brendon Christopher?" Chloe rummaged through her bag and pulled out a magazine. "I picked this up in the airport, I thought it was a fashion magazine." She shrugged and passed it forward to Mac. "He is THE best player ever. Well, coming up. And he's hot."

Mac scanned the magazine cover. "I didn't realize that they made these kids stars now a days."

Chloe shrugged and reached for the magazine back. "His favourite colour is orange, his favourite meal is steak and salad, he speaks four languages and he has his own band. I can't believe I'm going to meet him!"

"I can't believe she's going to meet him." Harm mumbled, giving a Mac a small sideways smile.

--

"What time does the game start?"

"Puck drop at 1907..." Alex looked up from the book she was reading. "Sorry, 707. But I think we're supposed to meet Harm, Mac and her little sister around 615ish to get the tickets and what not." She put her feet up on the dashboard. "We've still got plenty of time."

Cody smiled. "I'm impressed that Dante's actually sleeping this trip." He glanced in the rearview mirror at Dante who was sleeping with his head leaning forward.

"Don't be." She pulled a bottle's of children's gravol out of her bag. "I doped him up."

"Alex!" He rolled his eyes and looked at his wife who grinned behind her book. "I can't believe you drugged our son."

"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first." Alex smirked. She opened her book and went back to reading. "I wasn't going to drive for three hours with him screaming or asking why."

Cody smiled. "Give us time to talk."

Cocking an eyebrow Alex turned to her husband. "Yeah, last time we did that, we moved to DC. What's on your mind now?'

"Know what? We'll discuss it later." He smiled sheepishly.

--

Chloe bounded out of the car and tapped her foot impatiently. "Come ON, I want to get a jersey before the game! And are you friends here? How can we tell it's them? They have the tickets, right?" She babbled.

"They said they would meet us in the front lobby. They have a son, Dante, with them. Trust me, you can't miss him." Harm said with a grin. He extended his hand and waited for Mac to wrap her fingers around his. Chloe was almost vibrating by the time they made it inside.

"Are you Alex and Cody?"

Alex turned, trying to keep her arm on Dante who was eyeing up a display of jerseys precariously made into a pyramid. "Yes, I'm Alex. You must be Chloe. I would shake your hand but..." She nodded towards Dante who was now nothing more than the sweater he wore. The boy giggled and launched himself into the display, tearing down jerseys. "Never mind." She stuck out her hand. "I'm Alex Gianinni. That terror in the jerseys is Dante. My husband Cody just went to grab the tickets."

Harm pulled Dante out of the display and threw him over his shoulder. "Nice work, kiddo."

"Hi 'Mander. You here to watch hockey?" Dante cocked his head to the side and smiled serenely.

"Yes, I'm here to watch. Tell you what, how bout you help me clean up the mess you made." Harm said gently, putting the boy down.

Dante just smiled and handed Harm a jersey.

"Got the tickets." Cody called, exiting the office waving his hand triumphantly. " Oh, and they say that Bren is below waiting for you, Alex." He shrugged and looked at Mac with a smile.

Alex grinned and skipped off towards the underground tunnels. "Be back, might want to get some jerseys." She called over her shoulder.

--

"And your first star...NUMBER FIFTY FIVE...BRENDON CHRISTOPHER!"

The roar was so loud Dante clamped his hands over his ears and shook his head. Even Cody couldn't believe the ovation the sixteen year old got. Brendon skated out to centre ice, his stick raised in acknowledgement Chloe tugged at Mac's hand "What now?"

"We," Alex said pointing to herself and Cody, "take everyone out for supper. We just have to wait for Brendon to shower and get dressed."

Chloe grinned and looked at Harm and Mac. "This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever!"

--

"So, it's burning a hole in your pocket, isn't it.?"

Harm blushed. "How did you know?"

"It's pretty obvious." Cody took a bite of his meal and grinned. "That, and I felt the same way. So what are the plans?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I know that I love her…I'm just not sure how she'll react." He looked around at the table nervously. Brendon was chatting with Chloe who seemed to be star struck. Mac and Alex watched the two teens with soft smiles on their faces.

"Can I give you a word of advice?" Cody grabbed Dante's hands away from his plate and passed the boy a glass of ice. "Eat this Dante." He turned back to Harm. "You were a fighter pilot, right?"

"Yeah." Harm cocked an eyebrow. "So?"

"Were you scared?"

"Sometimes. But…it was different. I was trained to do that."

Cody took a bite of his meal and looked at the Navy officer. "So? You were also trained to love, Harm."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It is." Cody brushed a curl off his face and smiled at Dante. "Once you find somebody that you love…go for it. Do you love her?"

"More than anyone can imagine."

The younger man smiled at him before turning to his son who was blowing bubbles in his chocolate milk. "All I have to say man, is you have to take a leap of faith sometimes, and hope that you get caught."


	34. Chapter 34

Cody passed his credit card to the waitress and held up his hand when Harm began to protest. "Nope, don't even think about it Harm." He smiled and signed the receipt. "Our treat."

"Thanks, that was great." Harm said, rubbing his stomach.

"Yeah, thanks Code-eeeee." Brendon said, dragging out his brother-in-law's name. "Can we go to a movie or something? It's still relatively early." He looked at his watch. "Please?"

"Yeah, please can we go see a movie?" Chloe echoed, batting her eyelashes at Harm. "Please?"

"I can't see a problem with it." He shrugged and looked at Mac who nodded.

Alex nodded. "You guys go. I'll take this little munchkin to the hotel. He looks like he's going to fall asleep at the table." She pointed to Dante who was nodding off, his head bobbing up and down.

"No sleep." He muttered forcing his eyes open. "No no no."

"Too bad, kiddo." Alex lifted the boy off the booster seat and held him in her arms.

"I'll stay with you Alex, if the men don't mind watching the other two." Mac said looking at Brendon and Chloe who were sitting too close for comfort.

"Got it covered." Cody grinned and grabbed the back of Brendon's chair. "None of this grab ass on my watch."

"I wasn't doing anything!" Brendon exclaimed holding up his hands in self defense. "Swear."

"You're a teenaged boy, which means that you're a creep." Cody replied.

"Am not!"

"I know how their little minds work, because I was one." Cody countered and turned to Harm for support. "How about you Harm?"

"Sorry Brendon, you're not getting and ally here. By definition, teenaged boys are creeps." Harm said laughing as the teenager crossed his arms and slunk lower in his chair.

"You two suck." He muttered. "I'd rather the women come, than you two."

"You don't want that...Mac can kill you 12 different ways with her bare hands." Harm laughed.

"And Alex, 10." Cody chuckled. "At least I'm relatively harmless." He leaned over and placed a kiss on Alex's forehead and then again on Dante's. "I'll see you guys later."

--

"Do you want me to carry him?" Mac asked as Alex shifted the sleeping boy in her arms.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's no problem." Mac said, taking the boy from her arms. "Looks like you need a break."

Alex smiled gratefully and stretched her arms. "He's dead weight when he's asleep." She brushed a curl out of the boy's face. "He looks so innocent when he's asleep...makes you forget that he's a holy terror when he's awake."

Mac laughed and looked down at the sleeping boy, his mouth slightly open, his dark lashes twitching every once in a while. "He's a good kid."

"Depends on what you mean by good." Alex shoved her hands in her pockets and sighed. "But I wouldn't trade him for the world." Her voice trailed off and soon their footsteps were the only thing to be heard. "Have you ever thought of having kids?"

It was Mac's turn to sigh. She shifted the boy in her arms. "Yes. My biological clock keeps going off...and I'm too scared to do anything about it."

"What about Harm?"

"I don't want a kid born just because I'm selfish and want one. A child deserves a family, not just two people who are together out of convenience." She stared stubbornly ahead refusing to look at the younger woman.

"Is that what you think? That Harm is with you out of convenience?" When Mac didn't answer, Alex continued. "Seriously? That's what you think? If you guys are together out of convenience, than so are Cody and I. And so are my parents...I could keep going if you want."

Mac stopped and looked at Alex. "You don't understand. We made a deal that we would go halves on a kid if neither of us were in a serious relationship."

"So?" Alex twisted her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "Do you think that it's the reason why you two are together?"

"Well, I know that he wants to have a child..."

"And you think that you're just the method?" Alex snickered slightly. "Mac, are you crazy? Really, I haven't seen anyone in love the way Harm is in love."

"I think he's in love with the idea of being in love."

Alex stopped and grabbed Mac's arm. "Mac. He went all the way to Afghanistan to find you. I was there. I saw his pain, saw his determination...saw his love for you." She took the sleeping boy whose head flopped like a rag doll. "If you can't see that...there's nothing else I can do for you." With a free hand she fished the keycard out of her purse. "I have to get Dante to bed. If you want to come in and talk, I'll leave the door open."

--

"Please can we go to this movie?"

Harm looked over at Cody who shrugged. "Looks fine to me."

"Sure, you guys can watch it. We're going to wait out here. We'll meet you here in...2 hours?" Harm said with a slight glare in Brendon's direction.

If the boy saw it, he covered his reaction well and smiled. "Sounds great." He turned to Chloe. "Can I interest you in some popcorn?"

Harm looked at Cody and gave him a small smile. "He's..."

"He's at least respectful, I know that much." Cody said with a smile. "Want to go for a beer while we wait?"

"Know a good bar?"

"O'Hanlon's, just down the road."

They walked out into the cool air, pulling their jacket collars high around their neck, the wind swirling the dry snow around their legs. The pub was close, less than a block, and they welcomed the warm air when they entered. They sat down at the closest booth, laying their jackets beside them.

"What can I get you gentlemen?"

"Beer. Whatever you have on tap that's local." Cody said without looking up.

"Make that two." Harm looked at the younger man and gave him a quick smile. "So you think Brendon and Chloe are going to be okay in there?"

"They better be." Cody nodded at the waitress as she placed the beers in front of them. "He's a good kid, and a smart kid. He knows better." He took a long swallow of his beer and a soft sigh escaped from his lips.

"Long time?" Harm asked, fully well knowing the answer.

"Yeah. I try not to drink because...well...you know. But once in a while it's nice to just relax and have a beer." Cody shrugged. "I don't because I don't want to go home smelling like booze, having her taste it on me...but...she doesn't mind I just don't want to put her through that."

Harm nodded. "Understand." He reached into his pocket and pulled the ring box and placed it on the table. Cody smiled and nodded towards it.

"Looks like you have it all planned out."

"Except for the whole, you know, asking her part."

A smile crossed Cody's face. "You can't tell me that Mister fighter pilot crazy Navy lawyer is scared."

Harm opened the box and stared at the diamond ring. "Weren't you?"

"Friggen terrified." Cody took a swallow of his beer and smiled. "And Alex didn't help any. Our engagement did NOT go as planned." He laughed slightly. "Actually it was a trainwreck."

"Sounds like there's a story."

Cody shook his head. "I swear Alex is socially retarded..."

--

Mac knocked on the door to Alex's hotel room, holding two cans of soda and two chocolate bars. Alex opened the door and gave her a sideways glance.

"Peace offering?"

A smile crossed Alex's face and she opened the door wider. "Come on in." She looked behind her. "Dante sleeps like a rock, it will take a major explosion to wake him up."

They settled on the bed, Alex pulling her pink pyjama pant clad legs under her, opening the can of soda. "The peace offering wasn't necessary you know." Alex smiled. "But thanks anyway."

Mac gave her a half smile. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Alex cocked an eyebrow. "Shoot. And no not literally."

"Did Cody act...strange before he proposed?"

Alex laughed. "Define strange. Cody is socially retarded to begin with. But he just started acting real quiet and jumpy. Though, I didn't help anything..."

--

"_We're at the RINK?" Alex gave her boyfriend an odd look. "We ALWAYS come to the rink."_

"_I know." Cody smiled. "I figured we needed to get out."_

"_You know...since we were here yesterday." Alex mumbled under the breath tying her skates._

_Cody pulled a puck out of his pocket, a gouge taken out of it, a diamond ring sitting on it. "Yeah...but this is different." He passed the puck to Alex. Without looking she tossed it on the ice, quickly skating after it._

"_Alex...ALEX..." Cody watched in horror as she took a slapshot with the puck..._

--

"He didn't."

Alex nodded and started giggling. "He did. And then when he saw me take the shot, he tackled me to get the puck away." She suddenly turned serious and started to play with her wedding ring. "The only advice I can give you...is to not run away. If you're not ready...talk about it...but..." She shrugged. "Sometimes you have to take chances."

--

"She didn't." Harm laughed and took a swallow of his beer.

"She did. I had it all planned out, nice and romantic...go back to where we first met...and she goes and takes a slapshot with the puck and the ring. I tackled here in centre ice to stop her from doing it again. And THEN she yelled at me for putting the ring in there." Cody rolled his eyes. "Like I said, she's socially retarded."

They sat in silence, taking drinks of their beers. Harm opened the ring box and stared at it. It was a classic style ring with two rings intertwined, a garnet and an opal meeting in the centre surrounding a round cut diamond.

"It's gorgeous."

Harm gave a soft half smile. "You don't know how long I've had this ring." He fingered the box slowly and passed it to Cody. The felt was worn down in places, to the original fabric.

"I can imagine, looking at the state of the box. How long?"

"One thousand one hundred and forty seven." Harm said under his breath. "One thousand one hundred and forty seven days."

"Over three years."

Harm nodded. "Over three years."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're chicken shit?" Cody looked at his watch. "We should go and meet the teenagers before they get themselves into trouble." He tossed some bills on the table. "Are you going to wait another thousand days?"

Not answering, Harm put the well worn box in his pocket. "You're an ass."

Cody grinned. "Least I bit the bullet." He flashed his wedding at Harm.

The box weighed a thousand pounds as they left the bar...his fingers rubbing the soft felt.

--

**Thanks guys for sticking with me. I've been working with kids with ASD (Autism spectrum disorder) and it's been taking up all my time. Along with taking some classes...oh...and I'm typing with 2 broken fingers! I got clipped playing ball. It's fun.**

**I'm hoping to have an update once every 2 weeks...hopefully. I have it all planned out and most of it written down, but not typed out. So bear with me!**


	35. Chapter 35

"How did you know I was out here?" Mac asked without turning around. She pulled the blanket that was originally at the foot of their bed tighter around her body.

"Lucky guess." Harm replied, his voice thick with sleep. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck. "What's up?"

She shrugged, blinking back the tears that welled in the corners of her eyes. "Nothing...I just needed some fresh air." She lied.

Harm sighed, not believing her, but choosing not to question her about it. "You're freezing. Come back inside." Gently he guided her off the balcony and into the hotel room. "Mac...you know that you can tell me anything, right?

She silently nodded in agreement.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm scared." Her voice was almost inaudible. "Harm, I'm terrified."

"Why?" He enveloped her in his arms and pulled her tight against his body. "Open up to me Mac."

"This. This is what terrifies me." Her words became rushed and chaotic, like they were fighting to free themselves from her mind and mouth. "I've never had THIS." She extended her arms wide motioning to the way they were tangled together, his hand absently running through her hair. "I've never SEEN or EXPERIENCED this." Her body shook slightly. "My parents were never happy. Their marriage was never happy, it was full of booze, anger and violence. My marriage to Chris was no better. We were never happy. I was never loved. I was his pretty little eye candy, he was my escape from a painful reality. My relationship with John was youthful infatuation, with Dalton it was for the feeling of power...sleeping with a powerful rich attorney." She panted hard, emotionally exhausted, but forced herself to continue. "And Mic. Good God, Mic. He was a good guy, you know? He loved me. He really did. He wanted to give me everything and anything I wanted. But I didn't love him back. Harm, I knew I didn't, but I dragged him along. I made him think that I loved him. I loved the idea of being loved. I needed to be loved and I didn't think that I'd ever get it from you." The tears flowed down her cheeks. "And now that I have it, I don't know what to do with it."

Harm held her tight, allowing her to cry, whispering "I love you": in her ear. "Mac, there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm here forever. We're here forever." He held her until she relaxed and they both slipped into a restless sleep.

--

Alex chewed on the end of the pen thoughtfully, watching Brendon and Chloe converse out of the corner of her eye.

"Are you creeping on them?" Cody chided gently, placing a drowsy Dante in the booster seat at the table.

"Reconnaissance mission." She replied kissing her husband on the cheek.

"Right." He smiled and took a swallow of her coffee and then grimaced. "That tastes like...dirt. No, correction. It tastes like dirty gas."

"I thought it was a bit weak." She smiled and made a few notes on the paper in front of her.

"What're you working on?" Cody asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee with ample cream and sugar.

"Just translating some Arabic stuff for a case." She shrugged and gave a small wave to Harm and Mac who entered the restaurant. "Morning." She said cheerfully.

Harm smiled tiredly. "Morning."

Mac sat down across from Alex and poured a cup of coffee. She took a swallow and frowned. "This stuff is rather weak."

Cody rolled his eyes and passed the cream and sugar across to Harm. Brendon and Chloe pulled their chairs over to the table. "We were waiting for you guys before we ordered." Brendon said with a smile.

"For your second breakfast of the day?" Cody laughed.

"Shuddup, it's your second breakfast too!" Brendon retorted spooning some ice in front of

Dante. The toddler picked one up and popped it into his mouth. He blinked slowly and looked up sadly through his dark lashes.

"Hey Alex, Dante looks really tired."

She nodded. "I think he's coming down with something. He hasn't been hungry this trip. We have a doctor's appointment booked for when we get back."

Chloe sighed dramatically and looked towards Mac and Harm. "Mac, can Brendon come with us to Harm's grandmother's place?"

Stealing a glance at Cody and Alex, Harm smiled. "ACTUALLY, that's one of the reasons why we're late for breakfast. I just got off the phone with my grandmother; she would like to invite all of you to her farm..."

Alex opened her mouth to protest, but Harm put up his hand to stop her.

"She offered. She WANTS you guys to come. Trust me, she won't take no for an answer."

"Then it's settled. We're going." Brendon said with a grin that rivalled only Harm's as he flagged down the waitress. "I'm ready to order now. I'll have the six egg omelette with everything but tomatoes, hashbrowns, whole wheat toast, and an order of six buttermilk pancakes with blueberry syrup." He grinned at the waitress.

"Anything else?"

"Oh yeah. A large chocolate milk and an apple juice." He closed the menu and smiled. "What are you guys going to order?"

Mac blinked a few times and looked at the skinny teen. "I think, I may have just lost my appetite."

--

"Math, physics, chemistry, English and Theory of Knowledge." Brendon replied with a slightly bored expression.

"Isn't that tough playing hockey and taking all of those classes?" Chloe asked in awe.

Brendon shrugged. "Not really. It;s just a matter of sitting down and actually doing the work. I tend to do a lot of work on the bus."

Harm reached over and took Mac's hand in his and smiled as the teens kept talking. "You can take a nap if you want..." He whispered softly. "It will still be a few hours."

With a tired smile she nodded and closed her eyes.

"And I'm keeping my eyes on you two." Harm said in the rearview mirror, smiling smugly as Brendon shifted to the other side of the car.

"I'd really prefer it if you kept your eyes on the road." Chloe retorted with a grumble.

"I'm very skilled."

Brendon snickered. "Honestly Commander, I'd rather be in a vehicle with you than my sister ANYTIME."

"But Alex seems so nice!" Chloe exclaimed.

"Trust me, she'll eat your face if you get on her bad side." He ran his hands through his golden curls. "And what she doesn't know, won't hurt her."

Harm groaned and looked at the clock. Three more hours.

--

Cody turned the corner and set the vehicle back on cruise. Dante squirmed in his car seat and waved his empty sippy up around. "Waaaaaaaater..." He whined.

Pulling a waterbottle from her bag Alex smiled wearily at her husband and then turned to the boy. "You're going to float away if you keep drinking like this." She said softly.

Dante frowned, pulling his eyebrows together and pursed his lips before throwing the cup in the front of the SUV. "WATER!"

"Okay okay, it's coming." She turned to Cody. "He's becoming more like you every day."

"What? Hell no. How is THAT becoming me?" He asked glaring at his wife.

"Coming from the man who threw his waterbottle at the referee last game? Are you serious?" She picked up the sippy cup and began to fill it. "Biting, punching...I'll take responsibility for that. Throwing things, kicking...nipple twisting...all your genes , sweetheart." Once the cup was full she passed it back to Dante who started to drink greedily.

Cody rolled his eyes at the accusation. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I haven't told anyone about the time in Boston..." She started with an evil glint in her eye.

"Okay okay okay...I get the picture. Anyway, did you know that Harm has an engagement ring for Mac?"

"No, but it doesn't really suprise me." She said with a small shrug. "You weren't there in Afghanistan Cody. He disobeyed orders to get to her and you could almost feel the pain that he was in when he thought that he was the reason she was seriously injured."

A pit grew in the pit of his stomach and he grabbed Alex's hand tenderly. "I'm sorry for everything you went through over there, and I'm even sorrier that I couldn't be there for you."

Alex ran her fingers through her husband's unruly curls that splayed across the back of his neck. "You were doing something more important, taking care of Dante..." Her voice trailed off, avoiding any other questions and remarks about her time in Afghanistan. "Now, tell me more about this ring."

--

Mac woke up with a start as the vehicle shut down. "Hey sleepy head." Harm said softly. "We're here."

"How long have we been here?" She asked sleepily, noticing that both Brendon and Chloe were gone.

"Not long. Brendon made a beeline for the bathroom with Chloe close on his tail. Alex and Cody are still in their vehicle...I have a feeling they're reading Dante the equivalent of the riot act to a toddler." He glanced over his shoulder at the SUV and watched as Alex shook her finger at both her husband and child. "I took our bags in, Grammy is excited to meet everyone."

Smoothing her hair, Mac reached over to open the door. "Thanks for inviting me Harm."

"I love you Mac."

"I love you too Harm. It looks like Alex is finished ripping into Cody and Dante. Let's go."

Harm took Mac by the hand and waited for the Gianinni's to catch up.

"Great area Commander." Alex commented shifting Dante to her other hip.

"You shouldn't be commenting to him...he had nothing to do with it." A friendly voice called from the house. "Now come on Harmon, get everyone in here, I'm sure y'all are freezing."

"Yes Grammy." Harm said rolling his eyes slightly. "Sarah Rabb, this is my other Sarah, Sarah Mackenzie."

"I know who she is." Sarah Rabb rushed down the porch steps and gathered her up in a bone crushing hug. "She's gorgeous, Harm...Oh sorry dear." She released Mac and smiled. "You're absolutely gorgeous...Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm embarrassing you and ignoring your other friends."

Harm laughed and shook his head. "Grammy, this is Cody Gianinni, Major Alex Gianinni and their son Dante." He grabbed Brendon as the teen exited the house along with Chloe. "And this is Brendon Christopher, Alex's youngest brother and Chloe Madison, Mac's little sister."

"Come in, come in. I'm sure that little one is freezing." Sarah said ushering the group into the house.

"You have a very beautiful home Mrs. Rabb." Brendon said with a smile. "And an awesome bathroom."

The older woman laughed. "Well thank you, but for you two, it's Grammy or nothing."

"Gammy." Dante piped up rubbing his eyes. "Water."

"Sorry Mrs. Rabb...Grammy...he hasn't been himself lately." Alex apologized.

"No need to apologise. He's probably just tired and confused, new place...new people. Harm was like that as a boy, always grumpy when he was around new people and would spend hours hiding."

"GRAMS!" Harm exclaimed shutting the door behind them. "Please, no childhood stories...AND NO PICTURES!"

"But you had the cutest tush sweetie." Sarah said with a grin, patting Harm on the cheek.

"Still do." Mac said giving Harm a quick pinch.

Cody swallowed a laugh. "Don't worry man, my Nanna and Mom pulled out the naked baby pictures the first time I brought Alex home for a holiday."

Brendon and Chloe exchanged slightly traumatized looks and shook their heads. "Please, for the love of everything good and holy don't pull those out. Or at least do it when we're long gone." Brendon whined.

"Oh don't you two worry, we won't pull those out until you're in bed." Sarah said with an evil smile of her own. "Now come on, I'll show you where y'all are sleeping. Sarah and Harmon, you can have your old room. Alex and Cody, the first room on the right...there is a child cot in the closet for Dante. Brendon, you sir can have the basement bedroom, and Chloe there's a bedroom on the first floor."

"Awesome. I'll go dump my stuff...then we can go check out the yard!" Brendon exclaimed.

"Better be ALL you're checking out!" Alex called as he ran downstairs.

Sarah laughed. "Let the kids be. Here, I'll show you the room. Harm, you go take Sarah up to the other room."

Harm smiled. "Let's go."

"Should I worry about any kinky fantasies about your childhood room?"

Chloe groaned and buried her face in her bag. "I so did NOT just hear that." She threw her bag into her room and took off.

"Way to be a good role model, Mac." Harm said with a laugh.

"I THINK you're avoiding the question." Mac smiled and pulled him down for a kiss.

**AN – No, I'm not dead, and yes, the story is still moving. Slowly. I apologize profusely, but working 60+ hours a week plus taking classes leaves me little time for writing. I will be writing though (apparently in my one class...it bores me...so sue me!) Hopefully the next chapter won't take...2 months. Sorry all. Thanks for sticking with me!**


	36. Chapter 36

_It takes courage to fight in your own war.  
It takes courage to fight someone else's war.  
Our peacekeepers tell of their own living hell.  
They bring hope to foreign lands that hate mongers can't kill._

Take two minutes, would you mind?  
It's a pittance of time,  
For the boys and the girls who go over.  
In peacetime our best still don battle dress  
And lay their lives on the line.  
It's a pittance of time

In peace may they rest,  
Lest we forget

_Why they died_

_Take a pittance of time_

_Please, at 11 am on Nov 11, take time for two minutes of silence to remember those who fought for our freedom._

_Lest we forget._

_--_

The yard was soon filled with laughter and squeals as Brendon and Chloe chased Dante around the yard. Alex sat on the railing, leaning forward, her elbows resting on Cody's shoulders. Harm wrapped his arms around Mac's body and pulled her closer to her. Sarah smiled. It had been years, decades really since she had heard the laughter of children in the house and yard. There was a change in Harm. His smile came easier, his laughter louder. He was happy. Completely and totally happy, and since he had been 5 years old when Harm Sr had been shot down, he had never been happy. He lived life because he had to, because he had shoes to fill, because he had a role to do. And now, he could just sit back and smile.

Before his life and heart was filled with adventure and danger, filling the hole that his father's death had left. Fight pilot, wild chases...he finally opened his heart and let someone in.

Alex shuddered slightly, an almost imperceptible shiver and slid off railing into Cody's arms. He gave her a soft smile and pulled her toque down over her ears and kissed her nose lightly. An unspoken silence of understanding was between them. He pulled her close as she shut her eyes.

Mac looked up at Harm and whispered something to him, causing him to laugh. If you could take a picture of perfection, Sarah thought, this was it.

--

"Supper will be ready in about half an hour!" Sarah called from inside the house.

"Enough time for you to show us around Harm?" Brendon called, Dante swung over his shoulder. "Come on, you have to have some sort of secret hide out or something."

Harm smiled. "Yeah, I have a few." He looked at Mac and Alex. "You ladies be okay here for a few minutes?"

Mac took Dante off of Brendon's shoulder and smiled. "Go."

With a grin, Cody gave Alex a peck on her cheek and ran to catch up with Harm, Brendon and Chloe.

"You okay?" Mac put Dante down and looked at the younger woman.

"Did you hear about the bombing in the Kunduz province?" She dug her foot into the grass. "Three soldiers killed."

"You know them?"

Alex tucked a curl behind her ear. "One."

"Never gets any easier."

"No, it doesn't." She sighed and licked her lips slowly.

"Sean know any of them?"

"All of them. He was in their regiment until he got sent home."

They sat in silence watching Dante dig in the dirt. "Do you think about drinking?"

Mac shrugged. "Not a lot, and not since I've been with Harm." She pulled her jacket around herself. "He's done a lot for me. You?"

"All the time. Whenever I hear about a solider dying. Whenever I have a nightmare." She sighed. "Part of me wishes I was there."

"Part of you always will be."

Silence surrounded them again. "What kept you going?"

"Harm." Mac closed her eyes. "I promised that I would come back."

"And if you didn't...he would come for you." Alex gave a small smile.

"He would come for me. You had people to come back to."

Alex looked down at Dante who was eating dirt. "I do." She knelt down and picked up the boy. "Dante, don't eat dirt."

"They'll never be forgotten Alex."

"Maybe not to us, but I hope that the rest of the world sees the good that we're doing there. I don't want them to be just another number, another list of names."

Sarah poked her head out of the house. "The food is almost ready, do you two want to bring the little man to get washed up?"

"Lest we forget." Alex whispered brining Dante into the house.

--

_I know it's short, but it's for Remembrance Day. I'm at the moment holed up in my house since I have ILI...Influenza like Illness. One of the schools I work at got hit HARD by H1N1, though I'm really really really really hoping that I don't have it. We shall see._


	37. Chapter 37

He laid there, listening to the sound of her breathing, the familiar sounds of the old house, listening to the sounds of the night. There was shuffling from outside in the hall, obviously others having not yet found the solace of sleep. The moon shone through the open window, its silver glow lighting the room. He shifted, not enough to wake Mac, but just enough to free himself from her embrace. She sighed softly, turning towards the open window. Quietly he slid out of bed and grabbed a pair of sweatpants before shutting the door behind him.

There was a light on downstairs, surely from the only other person in the house that was awake. He followed the light, only to find the house empty, but the front door left slightly ajar. His grandmother sat on the swing, wrapped tightly in a blanket a mug of steaming tea in hand. She looked up at the sound of his footsteps.

"Don't just stand there Harmon, grab a blanket and sit down. You're going to freeze to death being out here with no shirt on." Sarah chastised. "Join the line of company I've already had."

"Already had?" He questioned, wrapping himself in a thick afghan.

Sarah chuckled softly. "First it was sweet Alex, asking my advice on how to handle a little boy. Then it was her darling husband...and then that china doll of a boy, young Mister Christopher. I was wondering when you or Sarah were coming down."

Harm raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"So, what's your problem?"

"What makes you think I have a problem?"

She gave him a sideways glance. "Trust me boy, I know you have a problem. And I know it's not upstairs in your room...it's up here."

He sighed. "I love her, you know?"

"Harm...a blind man can see that you love her. So, what's your problem?"

"Her. Me. Us." He shrugged. "Everything. Grams, we're complicated. She was ready...I wasn't. Then I was ready and she wasn't. Then she was engaged...then I was involved."

"And now?"

"Honestly? I'm scared."

"Harmon Rabb Jr. I can't believe you're SCARED and you're running away!" Sarah said with incredulity. She gave him a sharp slap on his shoulder. "I thought you were a fearless Tomcat pilot."

He shrugged. "What if she says no?"

"She won't."

"How do you know?" Harm asked quietly.

To Sarah he looked like the Harmon Rabb of younger years. He wasn't the self confident, often brash naval aviator she knew. He was the ten year old boy asking forgiveness after breaking a window. He was the 14 year old boy asking a girl out to the school dance. He was the 16 year old boy, his head hanging returning from his ill advised trip to Laos. Now here he was, pushing 40 looking for acceptance and reassurance. "You can't fake the look she has. It's love."

"You think?"

"I know." Sarah leaned over and gave her grandson a kiss on the cheek. "What about you?"

"Grams, I've known since we first met. At first I thought it was just because she looked like Diane...but it's not that. It's more. I learned quickly that expect for looks, she's nothing like Diane. She's feisty, she's strong, she's smart..."

"You have your mind made up then Harmon." Sarah gave him a soft smile and went into the house.

--

The other side of the bed was empty. Cold and empty. Mac sighed and pulled herself out of the bed and slipped into an oversized pair of flannel pants and a long sleeved shirt. The lights were on downstairs, she followed the light to the front porch.

"Hey."

Harm looked up and moved over on the swing. "Hey yourself."

"What are you doing out here?" She whispered cuddling into the blanket he offered.

"Just talking with Grams. She just went in now."

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing that you need to concern yourself with." He said softly, placing a kiss on her nose. "Would you like to go in? You're freezing?"

"Nah...I like it out here..."

"Cup of tea?"

With shining eyes she glanced up at him. "Sure. That would be great." She pulled the blanket tighter around herself.

He rushed inside, and set the kettle on the stove element. Instead of waiting for the water to boil, he padded upstairs, grabbed a hooded sweater and dug the small box out of the pocket of his jeans. Quickly he made his way downstairs and set a couple of teabags in the pot. He poured the hot water into the pot and leaned against the counter. He could feel the ring box in the front pocket of his hooded sweatshirt. The tea water darkened, and he poured it into two cups. He carried them outside and passed one to Mac.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He sat back on the swing taking a sip of the hot liquid.

"Gorgeous night."

He nodded. "Mac...I have a question to ask."

She glanced up at him, a small smile on her face. "When have you ever had to ask my permission."

Taking a deep breath he rested his cup of the edge of the railing and got down on one knee. "Mac...Sarah...I've been waiting for the perfect moment to do this...but I realised that if I kept waiting we'd both be dead. So here it goes." Fishing the ring box out of the front of his sweater he held it out in front of him. "Mac, I can't imagine living without you. I can't close my eyes without seeing you. I can't see my life without you in it. You're the reason I live, you're the reason I breathe. You're my reason for being who I am. You've helped shape me, I'd be nothing without you. Without us. What I'm trying to ask is...Sarah Mackenzie...will you marry me?"

The silence hung heavy over them.

"Mac?" He asked, a nervous laughter slipping from his lips.

"Of course I will Harm." She whispered, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

"So that's a yes?"

"A million times yes."

He slipped the cool metal band, adorned with diamonds onto her finger. "I'm just sorry it took so long."

She didn't reply, wrapping her arms around his neck placing a soul searing kiss on his lips...

--

Alex twisted her still damp hair in a tight bun, pinning a few stray curls off her face and leapt out of the washroom. Cody groaned as he felt the mattress shift under her weight.

"Alex, its only 8am..."

"It is." She grinned and leaned on his chest. "I've already gone for a run...showered...gotten dressed. You're still not out of bed."

Trying to move her off, he rolled his eyes. "Neither is your son...or your brother...or Chloe...or Harm and Mac for that matter. YOU'RE the only one insane enough to be up."

She frowned and straddled her husband's hips. "I don't care. Entertain me."

"No. Sleepy time." Cody attempted to wriggle further underneath the covers. "Go bother someone else."

Alex stared at him until he opened his eyes.

"You're really creepy when you do that." He sighed in defeat. "Okay, okay, I'm up." He pushed his wife off of him and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "And annoying."

"Go shower." Alex said with a smile. "It's a gorgeous morning, I've moved your darling son downstairs with his Uncle, and we have a whole entire farm to check out."

"Our son is downstairs, out of the way..." Cody repeated, running his hands through his now dishevelled curls. "And all you can think about is checking out a farm?" He wrapped his strong arms around pulled her down onto the bed. "I can think of a lot of other things to check out."

--

Chloe padded downstairs, a thick blanket in her arms. She sat down on the couch and draped the blanket over herself and Brendon.

"Morning."

He smiled and pressed a finger to her lips. "Dante is back asleep." He explained in a whisper. "My sister dropped him off."

"He's cute." Chloe smiled shyly as he draped am arm around her shoulder. "If Harm or Mac come down..."

"We'll have plenty of warning. They have to make it down two flights of stairs. And they creak." He grinned. "And I have super stealth hearing."

"Right." She played with the edge of the blanket. "You know, you're pretty humble for a..."

"Hockey player?"

She pulled a magazine from behind the couch. "For being the next big star."

He blushed a deep shade of red. "Oh god. You saw that?"

"I googled your name." She admitted with a shy smile. "Wasn't too hard, you're on all of the prospects websites."

Lowering his eyes, he looked up shyly. "Yeah. Most girls at my school just know me as "the hockey player" or "the next one" since that's all they hear. You know, marry a rich hockey player...live the good life. You're the first girl...who hasn't made every conversation about hockey...how much money I'm going to make."

Chloe shrugged. "It's not important to me." She stared at the slightly older teen, his blue eyes hiding behind a fringe of blonde bangs.

"Impoooooooootant!"

Brendon looked over at Dante who was sitting up, a finger in his nose.

"Way to impress the ladies little man." He grimaced and pulled the boy's hand way from his face.

"BOOGIE!"

Rolling his eyes, Brendon picked the boy up. "You're so gross. Let's go see your mommy and daddy." He turned to Chloe. "Sorry about him."

"I think he's cute." Chloe stood up next to Brendon, his height dwarfing her. "I think I'm going to head up and shower..."

"I'll take this gross little guy upstairs." He gave her a sweet smile and bounded up the stairs, almost running into Sarah. "Sorry Grams, I didn't see you there."

"It's okay Brendon. Just making breakfast for the crew." She said, ruffling the toddler's hair. "What's this little guy doing downstairs?"

"Being gross." Brendon wrinkled his nose. "Alex dropped him off saying she wanted a couple hours of Dante free time. And now he's all drooly and has been shoving his fingers up his nose."

Dante grinned and pointed two fingers at Sarah. "Boogies!" He exclaimed.

Sarah laughed. "Boys will be boys. I'm sure your parents would tell you that you were a gross little boy too."

"Actually...HE should have been the girl." Alex said, standing in the doorway. "He didn't like to get dirty at all...in fact he hated it. My other brother was the kid that ate dirt."

Brendon thankfully passed the toddler to Alex and frowned at the number of plates set on the kitchen table. "Uh...Mrs. Rabb...there are only eight of us here...why are there 10 plates?"

"Because dear...we have company." Sarah said with a smile.

"Oh." Brendon crossed his arms across his bare chest and shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of his sister and the older woman. "Well...I think...I'm gonna go shower now."

Alex smiled. "Good idea." She shifted Dante to her other hip. "Do you need any help making breakfast?"

"No dear, it's just a matter of waiting now." Sarah smiled and took the toddler from her. "There's coffee made already." She began to wash the little boy's hands and smiled. "And yes, I made it marine grade."

With a grin, Alex poured herself a cup and watched Sarah play with Dante. The toddler squealed as Sarah blew raspberries on his chubby belly. "It's been too long to hear that sound in this house. Your parents are lucky to have such a great little guy to spoil."

Alex leaned against the doorframe and sipped her coffee. "We're lucky to have him."

"Sometimes." Cody wrapped his arms around Alex from behind and smiled.

"A child can bring so much joy..." Sarah said with a smile.

"So can love."

Alex turned around and smiled at Mac who was standing in the hallway. "Nice addition Colonel." She raised her eyebrow and gave Mac a cockeyed smile.

"It was." Harm added coming in behind her. He wrapped his arms around her tight. "Actually, Mac and I...we have an announcement to make."

"An announcement? I guess we got here just in time!" Trish Burnett exclaimed rushing into the kitchen.

Harm swallowed hard and gave Mac a shy smile. "Sarah Mackenzie...meet my mother, Trish Burnett."

--

**A/N**

Gah, what a bad chapter. But at least it's a chapter, right? RIGHT?! Anyway, I'm hoping to be updating a WHOLE lot more. I got over my massive case of writer's block and my classes are almost done! Yay!

**Thanks for sticking with me everyone.**


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